Hi there,
I agree with all the other posts about it being perfectly OK to teach your daughter table manners and that you and your DH need to be - as a friend of mine says - "singing from the same hymn sheet", most of the time, at least.
My DH and me did so with our kids and they know how to eat properly, keeping their mouths closed whilst chewing etc, but, for some dang teenagery reason, my eldest daughter, now 14, has suddenly decided to start doing this again!!!
A few days ago, she was telling me something, chewing her food and talking simultaneously!!! Jeez!!! I really bawled her out and said I wasn't going to listen to her - besides the fact that I really couldn't understand her anyway - if she chewed and talked at the same time and told her it was totally gross.
As for the thing about mums being controlling about food and so on, and how this can lead to eating disorders later, well, I have mixed feelings about that.
I have been following this LC thing since May 2007, before that I lost weight which I suddenly gained after giving up smoking by following a milder version of the "Eat to Live" diet (the book by Dr Joel Fuhrman), which was basically almost a vegan diet.
I now try to be fairly relaxed about what my girls eat. We don't have junk in the house, but I do buy a frozen pizza once in a blue moon. There is never Coke in the house, apart from exceptions like birthday parties. I try to encourage them to eat healthily but I generally say to them that they should listen to what their body tells them - so long as their bodies are not telling them to eat chocolate 24/7!!! - and eat accordingly.
This seems to be working fine with my 10 year old, but my 14 year old is a different matter!!!
She seems to have decided she has an eating disorder.
Am I to blame because I have dieted on and off over the last few years? Should I have not dieted??? Would that have done my daughter more good? If I had let myself stay fat?
I am health-conscious and the whole family rib me gently for it: I am known as "The Vitamin Witch" by my DH!!!
I have never hassled my daughter about her weight - she has a lovely figure and I have no need to - and, as I have said, I try to be relaxed about food. She has had one or two episodes of raiding the chocolate stashes, which come about due to our neighbours giving our kids loads of chocolate at Christmas or Easter.
The thing is, I feel that mums are in a total no-win/no-win situation: If you do nothing about your health or weight, you'll be castigated for not caring about health matters and setting a bad example; If, however, you do try to take care of yourself, you'll lose out because at some point, your kid might say, "Oh, yeah, my mum was like totally obsessed with food and dieting and health" and again, you lose again...
So, what is a mum to do???
I, for one, am going to carry on looking after myself as best I can, and shall continue to try and look after my family as best I can.
But these kids don't always make it easy, especially when they get to their teens!!!
We now have the added complication in our house that, not only do I have to make my food gluten-free and avoid contamination, my 14yo announced a couple of weeks ago that she now wants to be vegetarian!!!
I decided not to throw a complete fit over this (although I wasn't super happy, to be absolutely honest...) and said, "Fine, I can cook vegetarian, too", but make sure you supplement with iron and B12 if you want to stick to this.
Just needed to vent there a bit, hope I haven't said anything offensive...
amanda
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