I used the word adult in my post above.

well, younger person, like one who can drive their own self to the store, fill the cart, push it into line and pay with their own money?

that is an adult to me

how young is this person shopping for themselves?

no one wants unsolicited advice from a stranger walking up to them, pointing to their cart and saying YOU ARE WRONG and fat because of not knowing.

I don't see this at all. no way. leave it alone would be my absolute answer.

Politeness might've removed the desire to deck him. It wouldn't have made a difference in listening to what he had to say or change my belief that it was none of his business.

If we'd already been chatting and the topic came up, that's different. But bringing it up based solely on what I was eating (or in my shopping cart) would be a no-no.

Just for another take on this: criticizing or judging someone's food choices just won't work, and it can stir up antagonism or an even deeper destructive urge to stick with what they're doing just to flip the bird at people who seem to be "on their backs." As a lifelong rebel I know that this has sometimes been operating in me, often to my detriment but not always . . .

And yet there can be a time and place to plant a seed for someone who may be at a crisis point without knowing it. Years ago when I was almost at my heaviest I sat next to a guy on a long bumpy plane ride who worked as an EMT. He seemed gentle, we just had a long rambling chat but he mentioned some of the problems he'd seen with people whose weight was out of control. I'll never know if it was intentional on his part but it got through some wall of denial for me -- he scared me into really thinking about being overweight and if that was the trajectory I was going to stay on. Soon after that I started LC and turned it around. So it's worth being aware of when you might be tapped on the shoulder to truly help someone who's receptive to it.

I keep quiet. You never know where they are in their life; they may have just undergone a crushing tragedy or job loss. If you had done it to me as a young fat person, I would have gone home and binged on the whole cartload.

And, they may have already lost a lot of weight on their high carb diet of deprivation. Once, having worked extremely hard to lose 50 pounds, with only 10 more to go, a physiotherapist I'd never met before told me I was fat. That sparked a binge that set me back another 15 lbs.

Agree that criticism, even gentle and well-intentioned, can backfire and I certainly wouldn't blame the recipient getting upset. Sure the urge is there at the grocery store or whereever but it's not worth it.
Also, even for the young people around here (and I live in the US south, lots and lots of large people, young and old) I don't think they really care any more, it's normal, and would be like criticizing their hair color.

This is a good story with a happy ending. And it's clearly a different situation from the grocery store scenario of the OP.

I think of my LC persuasion in the light of my religious convictions. Lots of similarities, as it turns out, in the level of belief and the sincerity of practice. But I'm not drawn to judge or convert. If the opportunity comes up to tell MY story (as that EMT did) then of course I will do so cheerfully.

Judge often?
You have got to be kidding me! What I or anyone else at the grocery store have in their cart is their business. NOT YOURS!

There are many paths to get to a healthy happy weight, not just one. If anyone at anytime approached me in a store to discuss what food items I was purchasing, store security would probably be involved. I don't care how gently or kindly some stranger phrased their OPION on my choices. Stress the "my choices" part. Hopefully, you would have your advanced medical degree with you to back up your extreme knowledge on what is "best" for someone else.

I realize my answer may seem harsh, but it is honest.

As noted in the original post I have never actually done what I'm wondering if any of you have done. So apparently none of us here have done so, but I am suddenly "the height of arrogance" for even THINKING about it. Frankly I think it's a bit arrogant and rude to assume this is tempting to me because I might want to feel superior or even make fun of some young person as I described.

Nothing could be further from the truth as it's simply heart breaking and I feel like I have the "secret code" to a happier and heathier life for them, but dare not speak it. Quite frustrating actually.

Re "they are an adult if pushing grocery cart" actually I'm thinking of some in late teens with their mom I have seen.

But I get the picture... I will NOT EVER make diet change suggestions based on what I'm hearing here. I'm just shocked at how many of you are acting like what I'm tempted to say is evil and hurtful (on purpose, no less !) when I truly just want to help.

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(on edit) In trying to see what might have set off so many negative reactions here...is it my phrase "fat person" that set off alarm bells ? Should I have used a more "gentle" (but BS) description such as "heavish" ??

One place it IS ok to judge, in reguards to young people and food, is the public school lunch programs. My word what a travesty. In the last few years they've tried to make "healthier" chioices by federal mandate. You want to guess what those are? Nothing but low cal (high sugar) dressings and even higher carbohydrate choices than before. At the same time they offer things like funnel cakes and donuts for breakfast. Because it's even less "real food" than before (and it wasn't great then) the kids eat less lunch and bring candy to school instead.

Yes, that is astounding. Seems like I read recently where Pepsi touted moderate amounts in school ok since it "encourages hydration"..... OMG, what jerks....

So...... you abide. I'm not surprised.

TempleHall, if this conversation is going to veer off into school lunches, you'd better open a whole new thread. As the saying goes, "Don't get me started!" And I don't even have a kiddo in school!

Temple, I surely do not think you are evil in any way

it obviously is a sore subject and the school and what they teach!!--yes start a new thread cause we will all jump on and go ape crazy!

approach a Mom and her fat teen daughter. never never do it. that is what is important. the Mom would have you for lunch that day literally!!

I absolutely 100% UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because I see it all around me also. Fat kids. ones that are 13-16 range that are very huge. It makes me wonder who is feeding them, what other problems they may have like medical situations and pray that they find the answer to tackle their weight before becoming a morbidly obese adult.

it is truly heartbreaking. I understand wanting to share your 'ah ha' moment regarding food choices. I want to yell it to everyone also. we just can't go after strangers in a store tho

I would as soon walk up to a stranger and start discussing diet as I would walk up to them and start discussing religion, or politics. Not going to happen. I don't know why, but diet seems as inflammatory a subject these days as the other two I mentioned.

Its not the end of the world if we are judgment about something someone does as long as it stops to just thinking. Hell we all stop and think that a house color is stupid or the neighbors truck is out ragiouse or their kids are stupid or someone eats poorly. I get people telling me all the time how eating all that meat is going to kill me, when that happens I get full into low carb and inform them. They hate it, usually end up red in the face and walk away. Most people don't want to know how I lost weight years ago, they want a quick fix anyways.

When I'm in line I look to see what people are buying and on occasion look to see how if they are fat or not based on their foods. i WOULD NEVER SAY A WORD THOUGH. I have more fun trying to tell if they are single or not buy their groceries For that I am not afraid to ask and see if I'm right. Infortunitely that can bring the weirdos out of the wood work. I've been followed twice (oops)