I'll post my questions up front...how do you guys keep on keeping on? Does it get easier? Why doesn't it get easier?

I'm just growing tired and frustrated lately I guess. Last week was my youngest daughter's bday, my bday is in a week. I ended up more in the process of making some cheesecakes for my daughter's party than I intended too and it's just like crack in my hands or something! I wanted them! Do you know how hard it is to not lick your fingers...ugh!

Just the day to day, deciding what to eat and what to cook is getting monotonous and I'm sure some of that has to do with the fact that money is really, really tight with us right now, so I buy the same things all the time. It's just easier that way. Plus, I don't have to think either I guess - it's just food/fuel, getting my belly full. Not to mention we are all eating basically different things - I have my stuff, my wife cooks for her and the girls, and then there's things we keep for the girls. I just feel separate a lot.

Then tonight I come home and there are 3 loaves of pumpkin bread on the counter. My wife had said something about trying to make some of the cheesecakes at the daughter's party low carb for me, but that didn't happen, and when she thought about me being able to have the filling, she forgot there was sugar in it. She knows pretty much what I can and can't have, but I don't know. I guess my frustration is just more of feeling separate all the time and constantly having to say/remind people, I can't have that, having to fix my own meals.

I'm not going to cheat, I'm not going to give up....it just gets old, and I guess I just need to hear from someone else that it does to them too.

I hear what you are saying. I have been there before. I can't explain why it happened, but for me -- it did get better. Maybe it was because I have a few more years of failure under my belt. Maybe it was all the reading I've done about the bad things sugar does to us. Maybe it was the fact that my days of intense carb craving are over. What ever it was, this way of eating became much easier when I started looking at things like cookies & cakes as something I don't want -- not something I can't have. If I'm in a room where everyone is eating birthday cake (which happens about twice a month at work) - I don't feel like I'm being left out by being the one who won't have any. I'm actually starting to feel blessed to be the one person in the room who has figured out that none of us should be eating that stuff. My family caught on with this idea in recent months and everybody is eating better -- even the ones who are not really heavy. These days, I find it sad that sugar and process junk food is so entrenched in out society -- and I'm happy that I've been able to make a difference in my family. Again, I can't really explain how I got to this way of thinking about carby junk, but I'm glad I did. It makes this way of eating much easier.

Eating LC has been rather boring from time to time. I have learned to mix things up a bit and cook more interesting combinations. But it is still true that 90% of what I used to eat is no longer on the menu. That keeps my choices limited so there is only so much I can do. I guess I've grown to accept the idea that food is fuel and what I'm eating is good for me. Food is no longer as exciting to my taste buds as it used to be -- and the sugar/carb buzz is gone forever. I'm simply happy with how I am eating and that is enough.

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. But all I really know is what my experience has been. I can't promise that it will get better for you -- but I really hope it does.

It does get easier. There may be rougher patches ahead and some lessons to learn, but it gets easier when you have a calm acceptance of your reality. And I don't mean the "I know I need to eat this way to reach my goals" kind of acceptance/knowing. I mean the "This is just how I eat." kind of acceptance.
For me it took a relapse and a major weight regain to get to. Hopefully you can avoid that. But I know what happens when I eat wheat and most dairy (and other processed crap) and especially sugar. And I don't want to go there again.

I treat my trigger/reaction foods just like life threatening allergies. I wouldn't feel "weird" if I had a peanut allergy. Why feel weird or different about a grain/dairy allergy/intolerance?
With other people...I say "I can't eat xyz" not "I don't eat xyz"
I don't seems like a debatable choice. I can't, seems more definite to people. If they press it, I tell them it makes me sick. (and it does cause a mess of problems, so not fibbing)

Most people don't really notice what we eat or don't eat. They're too wrapped up in their own stuff. The only comments I get at work lunch is if I get sick of eating the same stuff every day. or " chicken salad again?" or a more recent one....how many bags of pork rinds do you go through a week?

Another thing that made it easier was not expecting others to cater to my food needs. If I'm invited somewhere and I'm unsure of the menu, I pack a cooler and take food with me and leave it in the car. If need be, I can go get it and have a safe meal. (I even packed a cooler to my daughters wedding)

I'm really lucky to have a supportive SO and family. My boyfriend does a lot of the cooking and he has no issues cooking for the way I eat. It actually took a few months of convincing him that it was OK to have junk in the house. It wouldn't bother me. He still rarely makes any thing not low carb for meals. He keeps it at snack foods. He says he likes eating like me and he feels better eating that way. lol

I have a teenager who lives on junk. I keep it in a cabinet (or the garage)that I rarely open unless I'm making a grocery list. And I keep his frozen junk out in the garage freezer.
Now, the teenager still offers me junk on occasion. I think it started as a test and attempt to sabotage but has turned into a bit of a game after almost 2 years back on track.

My mom and my daughter are very accommodating when they host meals. Thank goodness my mom doesn't do it often. She goes overboard providing options for me and I always end up eating more than I should. But all good for me foods.

As for planning and choosing meals......I "marathon" cook when I can and then freeze in individual portions. That way I'm not eating leftovers for days strait or cooking every day and I can change it up a bit.

I also make events about the people I'll be spending time with and not about the food I will serve or be served. That's the real reason we get together in groups anyway....to enjoy each others company.

It gets easier, hang in there!

Hey Bworthy... I hope it gets better for you. You've worked so hard and have had great results! Congrats on that!!

I wear gloves when I cook or prep carb-age laden foods so that I don't accidently lick my fingers... sounds excessive, but one does what one needs to do to remain ever vigilant around those toxic carbs. I've even had my DBF watch me prep, bake and frost cakes so that I wouldn't "lick" the bowl as is our usual bad habits.

I'm at the same place that Ken and Christina are... I only eat to nourish my body and nothing more. I eat the same thing day in and day out and I don't find it boring... cause it's just fuel. I hope and pray that you'll get to this point too...

My biggest motivation is that if I ever go back to eating those addictive, insidiously toxic, poisonous killer carb-age foods, I'll unleash my beast called "Fat Jo" (my self-destructive, morbidly obese carb-age loving alter ego) who kills the very best parts of me: my physical/mental health, my happiness and my self-esteem.

Keep fighting the good fight, Bworthy ~ it is so worth it! I'm over here cheering you onward and DOWNWARD!

Jo

Thanks for all the replies. with what you guys have said, I feel like I've reached that point of I cant eat that, etc because I know what it will do to me. I've been there before. Gotten sick, gained all the weight back, tried to start over again and again. I do see people eating things they shouldn't and I want to scream at them sometimes. I feel better about the way I'm eating most of the time. There are still foods I miss, that I miss the taste of. I don't know how to get past that. And I realize that it's only food and food that is not good for me. But it is hard for me to come to the realization that I may never eat some things again. I think I saw a pack of Oreos at the store the other day and was just like, oh I remember what those taste like! It's been 10 months!

I still read labels and worry about carbs, though I'm not counting so much, I still read everything. That just keeps weighing on me. And while I know I'm better off in many regards I'm envious of others that never think twice about what goes in their mouths.

B

You have already had some great advice from three very successful low carbers, and I don't have much to add. But I will point out that cheesecake is one of the easiest desserts to make LC and still taste fantastic, actually pumpkin bread too.
You have been losing weight for your health and for your family's happiness and security...for 10 months already...and your wife 'forgot' that you shouldn't have sugar? Not to get into another discussion about her own issues and lack of support, but I am sorry to hear that she couldn't let you enjoy your daughter's birthday with one LC cheesecake. A lot of the frustrations you have expressed in this post are so easily remedied with a few minor, and money saving, changes. One that you all eat the same meals, with extra starches and fruits for the kids. Also you are responsible for your kid's health and know they don't need extra junk food. Talk to your wife again, at least to ask for a LC cheesecake for your own birthday

It wasn't so much that she forgot I couldn't have sugar - it was just thinking oh the filling is just cream cheese. Then I had to ask, what else. Sugar, vanilla, and something else, don't remember now. She forgot there was sugar in it. Not that I couldn't have it. For me, it just shows the difference in how my brain works in that I know when and where sugar is in everything and the things I can't have, and is part of what I'm talking about. I know I'm the only one responsible for me, nobody else. It just gets tiring some days.

As far as our girls, we really try to not feed them a lot of junk. They eat a lot of veggies and fruit, but will snack on things like goldfish too. Our schedules are opposite so it's hard to have much time together so we just don't plan for any time together really I guess.

Hey B-Worthey. I can 'hear' in your post how you are feeling, and I can say that I've felt the same boredom, especially now that my appetite is almost non-existent. My inclination is to not eat, or just eat what is easy to grab so I don't have to spend much time, but a few weeks of that can cause some issues, esp if fiber is scarce. LOL

Another thing I'm hearing is hurt, and I'm so sorry about that. Are you still having cravings? You've come so far, that it seems like a no brainer that you probably don't, but maybe that's where the hard stuff lies for you? Perhaps you can share with your wife that next birthday baking session, you'll be alongside her making a SF cheesecake. I'll bet you guys make that time spent together a more common event if you love the recipe.

Good luck and I hope you feel better about things very soon.

I stopped seeing food as anything more than fuel. Quite frankly, its all boring and why should it be anything else, is filling the car up with petrol/gas fun lol????. Life, being fit, slim and healthy is far more fun.

So ignore the supposed wonders and excitement of sugar/carb filled junk and do something else, think about something else. Your life wouldnt be any better if you ate them.

Thats my thoughts

Jo xxx

I enjoy being the size I am. I got really excited when I got in the 38 jeans the other day. Most excited I've been in a while. I'm doing my best to view food as just fuel, but I still love good food. Brocolli doesn't excite me! Sorry, it doesn't. I do still remember foods I ate and enjoyed that are no longer good for me. I don't know how long/when/if that will change. Maybe 10 years from now I will be there, but 10 months in I guess I'm still mourning those losses I guess. I read about some of the alternatives using coconut flour or whatever but my word those things are expensive! So, I don't try them because I don't want to chance not liking it and having blown that much money on something, plus money is just right anyway. So the whole food issue is an issue everywhere. I hate buying food because it'd be so much cheaper to eat a bowl of cereal and Bologna sandwich right now. But obviously I can't have those things.

I do understand, I think about 6months - a year in, I remember realising that I couldnt ever eat cakes, biscuits, chocolate again and I almost cried. I didnt. I went a good 7 years before I thought I could handle the odd bad carb here and there - er..... I put on 28lbs and spiraled out of control with it. So I stopped. I went back to strict induction and lost it all again. Was it worth it??? No, it made me miserable and all my old aches and pains came flooding back. So I knew then that I had to stick with HFLC forever. I occasionally have an atkins bar as a treat - but its not really a treat, it just two minutes of eating something that is of no use to me lol!! It certainly doesnt make my life complete

There are lots of wonderful low carb dishes around, I dont bother cos....... I'm too lazy lol, but they're not expensive and you can share with the family. My lot eat high carb junk, so I'm on my own when it comes to food. But I'm fine with that, I pick out what I can eat, or I add carbs for them

Jo xxx

The mourning for foods you can't have does go away in the end. But it takes a shift in thinking. One day I realized that processed junk, sugar, and grains weren't actually "food" that my body could recognize, and with that revelation I realized that I no longer thought of them as "can't haves" but as "don't wants". I think what helped me reach that stage was firstly losing the physical cravings and then reading, reading, reading about low carb, responsible animal husbandry, nutrition, Big Food, Big Pharma and all their secrets and lies. I'd found a new and fascinating hobby! But, seriously, the result was I ended up with far more useful knowledge about how and why to feed myself than I'd ever had before. They say that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. I say that a lot of knowledge stops you mourning for junk.

I so admire you for losing a whopping 100lbs and for sticking to your guns without a lot of support. I'm rooting for you to push past this "bereavement" phase and carry on all the way to goal and lifetime healthy maintenance. Good luck!!!

Wow - really been enjoying reading everyone's comments plus the starting post! Just realised that I'm in a better position being the "main cook" in the family.... Really good just getting a very "long term lifestyle" theme from reading these posts.

I think I've often approached - dieting and LCHF eating - as something temporary/ non-sustainable - to get to a number - and yes to also feel less cravings..... I also get a bit cynical about my self - as I have yo-yo-ed and been on and off for so long.... that the thought of actually being on any kind of "diet" or foodplan or lifestyle eating plan - for the rest of my life - is something that I've just "self sniggered about", thinking - yeah right.... I can say it and think it now - but really!!!! - I can't and won't do it!

Okay - so it actually can be done, and yes - it actually is happening everyday for lots of people. I really liked hearing about someone else being in a room of people all eating birthday cake but choosing not to! Very motivational.

I've been getting used to going out for the day and to events with my own food.... say a few different salads etc and low carb alternatives - in a chilli bin/ bag, depending on how long I'll be away.

Sometimes I feel like food is just fuel, but other times I'm really desperately eating chicken/ eggs and salad/ veges to try to stop the food cravings. Yes, have been finding it very expensive to change over my cooking cupboards.... and haven't actually thrown out my 2 bags of white and wholemeal flour - but have "done over" the rest of my ingredients, recipe books and pantry, fridge, freezer....

Found my family have been pretty supportive, so far. Have enjoyed doing different and interesting vegetable recipes lately - and been pleased that the family have enjoyed the food..... bit different - am used to the family pretty much not enjoying "diet alternatives"- but have felt blown away by the high praise and appreciation.... so I actually am considering throwing out that flour as well.

I think with so many low carb/ wheat belly/ Paleo recipes available - I actually can get rid of the flour, but have held onto in case I have to provide something for a cake stall, at school...... and I don't want to "waste" my time and money - using quality (often organic) low carb ingredients....

This really doesn't sound like a good reason to hold onto flour!! considering all the wheat belly reading I've done!

I think sometimes I allow fear and self blame to interfere in enjoying the "good times" and positivity. No wonder I find it challenging to imagine "lasting" 10 months or more!!!! Am feeling grateful today, which I think helps me NOT to be resentful about what I am so called "missing out on" - it's actually pretty horrifying seeing what's in the supermarket. It's there, that it's really "in my face" - all the foods that it would be really stupid to put in my trolley!

I've noticed that I'm spending a lot more time in fruit and vege shops, organic health shop and bin inn - for cheaper organic/ alternative ingredient foods... there's still junk available in all of those stores - but a lot less than the supermarket.

I've also noticed that when I go to fill up my car with gas, I kind of miss picking up a snack or meal or diet coke...... bad bad habits to have gotten into in the first place!!! but anyway I am hopeful that it's going to get easier and habitual in the long term.

I think growing weary of LC food is part of the process. The old way of eating is letting you know in no uncertain terms that what you are eating is not filling the "need" for carbs. That was a wall that I never broke through on previous attempts. I felt I REALLY needed a break and always took one. If I managed to get back on plan, the weariness was still there and staying on plan was real drag. Soon I'd be ready for another "break". Sometimes the break lasted a few years.

This time, I pushed through the wearyness - staying on plan. I then discovered what I had been missing out on all those years of doing low carb wrong. The struggle went away and I slowly but surely started likeing the LC way of eating. I stopped missing the junk and sticking to plan became easly. In fact, the plan morphed into "how I eat now" and carbs are not a part of it. I so like this new lifestyle that I wouldn't think of dipping back into the carbs again. Where I am at is where I want to be.

Yes, maybe that's my problem - am struggling with the thought of staying on a lchf plan..... and yeah, me getting weary - probably leads me to feeling resentful and rebellious.

I think I want to see results on the scale - and then, I'll be happyish! I think I've stayed about the same weight for the last couple of weeks.

Hmmm, well I know that I need to be grateful for feeling relieved, most of the time, from eating compulsively - because when I think about that and remember how that feels - then yes, I can agree to stick with it!