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  #61   ^
Old Tue, Jul-08-14, 05:25
teresaw's Avatar
teresaw teresaw is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 7,064
 
Plan: LC and PH now and then.
Stats: 176.5/153/140 Female 60 ins
BF:
Progress: 64%
Location: Sardinia, Italy
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hey, B-Worthy... hope I didn't upset you, didn't mean to!... just throwing ideas out there.
Ask a question...get many, many answers....

have you checked, just for peace of mind that your insurances are up to date?...you never know...
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  #62   ^
Old Wed, Jul-09-14, 21:12
bworthey's Avatar
bworthey bworthey is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 547
 
Plan: Low carb
Stats: 352/332/240 Male 5 feet 6 inches
BF:
Progress: 18%
Location: Nettleton, MS
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So, yes, I did ask her. I had asked her. I brought it up again tonight, even pushed a little on it. She still says she likes me the size I am. So...yeah, that's it I guess. Ha!
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  #63   ^
Old Wed, Jul-09-14, 21:50
Gypsybyrd's Avatar
Gypsybyrd Gypsybyrd is offline
Posts: 7,035
 
Plan: Keto IMO Atkins 72 Induct
Stats: 283/229/180 Female 5'3"
BF:mini goal 250, 225
Progress: 52%
Location: St. Pete, Florida
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Well, that's her preference then. She's seen you larger and, if I recall correctly, smaller. She likes you as is. That leaves you with a decision to make, huh :-)
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  #64   ^
Old Thu, Jul-10-14, 03:43
JEY100's Avatar
JEY100 JEY100 is online now
Posts: 13,368
 
Plan: P:E/DDF
Stats: 225/150/169 Female 5' 9"
BF:45%/28%/25%
Progress: 134%
Location: NC
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She may like the size you are, but she is not taking all the meds, feeling their side effects, nor apparently on the fast track to full-blown T2 diabetes as you are. Does she understand the consequences of high blood sugar for your eyes, kidneys, and possible loss of limbs? If you stop losing weight now and even partially revert to a higher-carb diet, likely more powerful oral meds will be added to the metformin then insulin in higher and higher doses. The order of importance here is like someone wanting to give up smoking to avoid the hugely increased risk of lung diseases and their spouse asking them not to because they like the smell of tobacco. But as Gypsy said, it's your decision.
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  #65   ^
Old Thu, Jul-10-14, 03:49
Luckyk26's Avatar
Luckyk26 Luckyk26 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 738
 
Plan: Keto
Stats: 227.7/211.8/160 Female 5 ft 4 in
BF:
Progress: 23%
Location: New Jersey
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This is a really interesting thread because I've dealt (and am dealing) with some of these issues. Mainly the bf getting a little crazy and thinking that I'm cheating with every guy that gets within 30 ft of me. He's calmed down a lot but still gets weird. I actually met him when I was at my highest and he has always said if I'm going to do it then it needs to be for me and no one else.

It was a little fristerating reading some posts that significant others would get mad if too much weight was lost. Isn't that the same as someone leaving because you've gained weight? We would all go ape shit if this thread was about that. Doesn't it really just come down to loving someone for the person they are regardless of size?

Just my thinking this morning...
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  #66   ^
Old Thu, Jul-10-14, 04:16
bworthey's Avatar
bworthey bworthey is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 547
 
Plan: Low carb
Stats: 352/332/240 Male 5 feet 6 inches
BF:
Progress: 18%
Location: Nettleton, MS
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As I've said before, the assumptions are funny here. My wife has never said she didn't want me healthy, didn't want me off the meds. And she understands the risks - she has other family members with diabetes that she's fussed at about how they don't take care of themselves. I also never said I was stopping with my weight loss.

My wife loves me. Period. She loved me at nearly 400 pounds, she loves me now and she'll love me at whatever my goal weight is because it isn't about my appearance. Maybe she has a "preference", I don't know though. I think it's more of just a familiarity than anything. I do look a lot different, even from older pictures at similar weights.
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  #67   ^
Old Thu, Jul-10-14, 05:01
WereBear's Avatar
WereBear WereBear is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 14,602
 
Plan: EpiPaleo/Primal/LowOx
Stats: 220/125/150 Female 67
BF:
Progress: 136%
Location: USA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bworthey
I think it's more of just a familiarity than anything. I do look a lot different, even from older pictures at similar weights.



Exactly. You don't look like "you." But... soon, that will be your "normal." And you will look like you again.
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  #68   ^
Old Thu, Jul-10-14, 06:59
Judynyc's Avatar
Judynyc Judynyc is offline
Attitude is a Choice
Posts: 30,111
 
Plan: No sugar, flour, wheat
Stats: 228.4/209.0/170 Female 5'6"
BF:stl/too/mch
Progress: 33%
Location: NYC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bworthey
My wife loves me. Period. She loved me at nearly 400 pounds, she loves me now and she'll love me at whatever my goal weight is because it isn't about my appearance. Maybe she has a "preference", I don't know though. I think it's more of just a familiarity than anything. I do look a lot different, even from older pictures at similar weights.


I agree with WereBear, exactly!

You may want to have this thread locked down now. This would prevent more responses and you having to defend and justify yourself over and over again.
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  #69   ^
Old Thu, Jul-10-14, 07:47
bworthey's Avatar
bworthey bworthey is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 547
 
Plan: Low carb
Stats: 352/332/240 Male 5 feet 6 inches
BF:
Progress: 18%
Location: Nettleton, MS
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Judynyc
I agree with WereBear, exactly!

You may want to have this thread locked down now. This would prevent more responses and you having to defend and justify yourself over and over again.


Eh, say what you gotta say. I'm good. I've laughed at most. Some has ruffled my feathers, but it'll be alright. And I agree, she'll get used to the new me. It's been close to 16 years since I've been this size, I wouldn't expect any different in it being a bit unusual. It's unusual for me!
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  #70   ^
Old Thu, Jul-10-14, 09:34
Gypsybyrd's Avatar
Gypsybyrd Gypsybyrd is offline
Posts: 7,035
 
Plan: Keto IMO Atkins 72 Induct
Stats: 283/229/180 Female 5'3"
BF:mini goal 250, 225
Progress: 52%
Location: St. Pete, Florida
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bworthey
... I also never said I was stopping with my weight loss. ...


I don't recall anybody saying you did. That course of action is however one possible option. FWIW, I see this thread as not just about you but informational for others coming along and reading this years down the road. That played into my response above. This thread is even helpful for the posters as they (possibly) figure things out for themselves as they post to you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bworthey
... My wife loves me. Period. She loved me at nearly 400 pounds, she loves me now and she'll love me at whatever my goal weight is because it isn't about my appearance. ...


And that's the most important point.
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  #71   ^
Old Thu, Jul-10-14, 09:59
jessdamess's Avatar
jessdamess jessdamess is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 4,904
 
Plan: Keto
Stats: 252/172/165 Female 69.25 inches
BF:
Progress: 92%
Location: Northeast TN
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bworthey
Eh, say what you gotta say. I'm good. I've laughed at most. Some has ruffled my feathers, but it'll be alright. And I agree, she'll get used to the new me. It's been close to 16 years since I've been this size, I wouldn't expect any different in it being a bit unusual. It's unusual for me!


No reason for ruffled feathers here. These people don't really know you and your wife. Not a thing about you. They're just relating their experience. Or advice. No need to take it personal. Except for maybe the cannibal and insurance business. But that was just all in fun. I meant the dig at the History Channel and the aliens though.

The answer is always aliens.


Seriously though, she obviously loves you. If she loves you, she loves you. She may have a small hang up about your size, but she'll get over it. We know she loves YOU, not your size. You are doing this for you. And as she is your wife, and it's improving your health, it's for her as well. Wins all around. Changes take adjustment.

She prefers something, that's it. It will resolve itself in time.

And don't take internet words too seriously. They could just be bored aliens. You never know.
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  #72   ^
Old Thu, Jul-10-14, 09:59
Bonnie OFS Bonnie OFS is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,573
 
Plan: Dr. Bernstein
Stats: 188/150/135 Female 5 ft 4 inches
BF:
Progress: 72%
Location: NE WA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luckyk26
Doesn't it really just come down to loving someone for the person they are regardless of size?


It seems to be hard for some people. I was skinny (actually underweight) when husband & I met, then after quitting smoking gained a lot of weight. The fatter I got, the fewer hugs (and other things) I got. He told me he didn't love me any less, but his actions told me otherwise. The more unloved I felt, the more I ate.

Now it's in reverse. As I lose weight, I get more hugs (some of the other things are history as he had prostate cancer years ago) from him. It's been very hard to accept this change in his behavior.

I am definitely losing the weight & gaining health for me alone.

Patty Duke made a movie (a tv movie, I think) about this years ago. Her character lost weight - & worked hard at it - & suddenly her husband was interested in her again. I wasn't even married when I saw it & didn't remember it until recently. So I guess it's a pretty common experience.
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  #73   ^
Old Thu, Jul-10-14, 10:58
inflammabl's Avatar
inflammabl inflammabl is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,371
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 296/220/205 Male 71 inches
BF:25%?
Progress: 84%
Location: Upstate SC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bworthey
And I agree, she'll get used to the new me.


How do you think you can help that process?
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  #74   ^
Old Thu, Jul-10-14, 17:21
bworthey's Avatar
bworthey bworthey is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 547
 
Plan: Low carb
Stats: 352/332/240 Male 5 feet 6 inches
BF:
Progress: 18%
Location: Nettleton, MS
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Let me take a step back I suppose - I understand the responses I got, because some of them are valid responses/reactions for people and will be beneficial for more than just me. And as I've said, I expected the cheating, leaving, whatever reasoning - yes, those I didn't like, even though I know that was not the reason at all.

Lucky26 said, doesn't it come down to just loving the person regardless of their size - for me and my wife, it does. We do. That's what I've been trying to get across, I think I have. I've had the impression that that wasn't the case, hence some of my defensiveness about it. I understand this is not the case with everyone.

I realize now also that no one said I had to stop losing weight - more it was presented that I had a choice now. No, I don't see it that way. I'm not finished, I don't have a choice. That's why I put it the way I did.

How can I help the process? Good question. But I think it's something I've done all along - continue to love her unconditionally, for who she is, show her that I love her, shut up talking about my diet so much, take the right opportunities to show her the benefits of my wol - all of them, my health, activity with my family, etc. I think this has been there all along, may just need to be emphasized here and there a little more strategically.
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  #75   ^
Old Thu, Jul-10-14, 17:53
inflammabl's Avatar
inflammabl inflammabl is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,371
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 296/220/205 Male 71 inches
BF:25%?
Progress: 84%
Location: Upstate SC
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Yeah, that's the way I see it. Let her get used to the idea of a thin you and realize that nothing really, really important has changed. Along the way be aware of her nervous signals and tell her that nothing has changed. She may not believe it 100% at first but will eventually.
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