Kids are horrible arent they, they say what they think, with no concern lol!! However, see this as a learning curve for her. Sadly, the world is full of bullies and learning from a young age will give her experience of how to deal with them and how not to let them effect her.

Jo xxx

In other words, just like them.

My parents used to tell me "Just ignore them" but I've come to feel that this is pointless. Bullies do need to be confronted... and it doesn't even have to be aimed at me!

Start creating comebacks now, so you will be ready.

• I'm in the process of losing weight. Are you working on that mean streak?
• -oink noises- It must be difficult to have Tourette's Syndrome. Are you getting help?
• LOUD - I see someone wasn't taught any manners! There's books at the library if you can't afford to buy one!
• (look of disbelief) Were you just rude to me? We don't even know each other! What's your name? Hey! I just like to know who is being so RUDE to me!
• (soft voice) Well, I didn't want to say anything, but if we are giving each other helpful hints, I think you forgot to shower this morning.

Yes, hindsight is 20/20, but when one man and several angry women (mothers no less!) are in a room together how is it he was allowed to walk out of there after saying "boys will be boys"? This isn't the 1950s, women don't have to be polite and ladylike with men anymore if the men in question are assh*les. Maybe you all weren't angry enough, but I'm astonished you didn't bar his way, and keep him there until he said he understood the gravity of the situation - because you are absolutely right, he is growing an abusive, sociopathic little freak in his own home! Men HATE being harangued by women, so even if he still didn't get it, at least you would have shown him that women and their daughters can fight back, so watch out! If you get another crack at this guy, I suggest you and the other women have a game plan ready so he feels some heat next time.

Bullying and cruelty make me so angry that I just have to do or say something when I come across it. It's amazing how quickly bullies back off - they are all cowards, just call 'em on it, you'll be surprised.

Please don't mistake. That man received a very long and detailed description of the type of behaviours that wouldn't be tolerated by any of us in regards to our children (since the boy has physically hit and pushed a few of the other girls, in addition to the verbal problems). I made it more than clear to him that, while my daughter won't start a fight she damn well knows how to finish one. She has been taught to never become a punching bag for someone else. She may be skinny, but she is 8-10 inches taller than the other kids her age....and she has demonstrated with her brother that she can hold her own. He was informed by the principal that expulsion from school was likely if the boy continued to physically bully anyone else. our meeting lasted two hours, and everyone was given a chance to speak: the father chose to say very little. Even when prompted for input or asked for information. I didn't think it necessary to outline the entire circumstance here, my point was merely that, after receiving all the information, his response was so minimal and disdainful towards us. Like we were in the wrong. It was a similar demonstration in my opinion to the OP, that there are many parents in this world who aren't very good humans, and unfortunately most of their offspring turn out just like them, as in the OP's situation where a mother would condone and participate in her daughters abuse of another woman. I must say I do scoff a little at the thought of barring his way, until he what? Gave in and apologized? We'd have been in that room far longer than 2 hours, since I have a feeling he's not that type of a guy. Not to mention the fact that we weren't there to gang up and bully him. We were adults hoping to constructively work on a solution (honestly we assumed he had no idea his son was acting in such a way) so that our kids could coexist more efficiently. I doubt I'm in a position to forcibly confine someone until he concedes to my demands. Regardless, my parenting abilities weren't really the point here, but more so that adults who are awful people are far more likely to raise more awful people, and that they usually aren't very old (5!!!) before they start to exhibit the type of behaviour they've been conditioned to. I agree with OjOj, it's a good learning experience for my daughter, and for me. Just didn't think it would be this soon is all.

To the OP - bullies are everywhere. Humans thrive on judging one another. Women judge other women for being moms, not being moms, being too fat, being too thin, working too hard, being lazy, when we should stand up for each other, support each other through good times and bad, help one another to be healthy and happy. Im terribly saddened you had to experience that type of negative filth, and hope you can let the memory of those women rest in the dirt at your feet where they belong.

aamama, I absolutely wasn't judging your parenting skills and am sorry if I gave you that impression. It had seemed to me that the father was allowed to disregard what you all had to say without enough protest from the moms, shrug you off, and go on his own sweet way. Thanks for explaining the circumstances further. It's easy for reasonable, polite people to be dismissed by overbearing, successful ones. I see it every day unfortunately. Glad that wasn't the case here.

"So we all had a big meeting and his professional looking, lean, obviously judgmental father simply replied "boys will be boys".

So the school set up a meeting for a group of angry mothers to confront another parent? Whoever set that meeting up needs to be brought to their management for correction and the boy needs to be disciplined until the behavior stops.

Suzanne, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I could echo what a lot of others here have said, but I also want to add something. However you choose to publicly deal with people (and I use the word "people" loosely) like this, the bottom line is that you can also choose not to let them or their words have any power over you.

I remember a couple of years ago I was shopping in my local Filene's Basement, and my weight at the time was probably around 210; I'd lost about 50 pounds in the preceeding months. It was actually a 'bad' weight for me to be shopping; most of the clothes in the women's/plus section were a tad too big, and most of the clothes in the "regular" section were a tad too small. I did, however, need some clothes (mine were too big). And I was buying stuff on the smaller side with the idea that since I was losing weight, I wanted to maximize how long I would be able to wear them. Anyway, the store was mostly empty, but there was a late teens/early 20's girl there with her boyfriend shopping in the same "regular" section I was. Initially, there was some snickering and whispering going on, then I heard the boyfriend say, sotto voce, "I wonder if she knows she's in the wrong section?". Laughter erupted, sidelong glances were given, knowing looks exchanged.

It felt like a knife to my heart, given how much weight I'd lost and how good (comparatively speaking) I looked--which of course they didn't know, and I'm sure didn't care. I am sorry to say that I abandoned my cart full of clothes and walked out of the store.

In the parking lot, I sat in my car for a while thinking about it, and came to the realization that I had LET those two idiots--STRANGERS NO LESS--dictate both my behavior and my feelings. I had turned over a lot of power to them, and I vowed not to do that again--ever.

First hold your head high, love yourself--and then if you want to give them a verbal ass whooping, by all means go for it!

In fact, the school principal initiated the meeting, after more than 10 children reported bullying from the one child, and several teachers witnessed the issues in class time, resulting in time outs, etc. Again, as I mentioned, it wasn't angry mothers confronting another parent, but a group of parents hoping to inform another parent of the situation his child was in, and his impact on others. Apparently the teacher and principal had sat down with him individually to begin with, trying to solve the issue, and he told them he didn't believe his son would act that way, claimed they were "racially profiling" him, and lying about his son, and walked out of the meeting. This next meeting, where more parents were present, was an attempt to try to show the father the negative impact his son was having on so many (several of whom were the same race as he is), and let him know how serious the consequences could be. As I also mentioned, none of us thought he knew his son was behaving in this way (god knows my kids do things I wouldn't think they might), and tried to inform him of the specific types of verbal and physical abuse his son was demonstrating, to perhaps try to work on that behavior. My children attend a school that has a ZERO TOLERANCE policy for bullying, and they do take it quite seriously. Unfortunately "discipline" of a five year old in a school setting is very limited, and didn't seem to be working in this case (according to the teachers), which was why the school administration decided to include the parents of the "bullied" children - to "prove" his sons actions were not fabricated. The school followed their "protocol" regarding their bullying policy, so I'm not sure which "management" should be informed.....but as far as I'm concerned, I'm happy my kids spend their days in a place where emotional and physical abuse is not tolerated - my kid was lucky in this circumstance that they were only a few hurtful words, some kids had been really hurt (one was punched in the face, and lost an adult tooth!). Sure - it's rite of passage for kids to face bullies. BUT, daily emotional trauma in the place they spend most of their time isn't acceptable in my opinion. It hurts us adults (I've been VERY hurt by people's nasty glares or terrible words), and we can actually stand up for ourselves.



Thanks whofan....sorry - my guard got up a little....and I do tend to stand up for myself I'm with you - I used to work in a field where the little guys were treated like barnyard animals in comparison with the fancy-pants, rich higher-ups (who were mostly self-loathing and lonely in their expensive apartments and fancy clothes...ugh, glad I changed careers!).

This is BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!
What a milestone "ah ha" moment for you

My mind is blown.

Nothing can be done to disciple this kid unless the father does it? Sounds like tolerance to me.

PS - "so I'm not sure which "management" should be informed" Whoever is the boss of the people who organized this meeting. Whoever has responsibility for changing their "protocol".

PPS - I'm unsubscribing from this thread. I find it too frustrating.

I'm unsure of why involving the child's parent seems strange to you - I would think that would be a logical next step after trying classroom disicipline. I personally don't want the protocol changed. I sure as heck would want to know if my kid was treating someone this way. I do think this is a strenuous circumstance considering the ignorance and self-importance of the father. If he had taken the initial meeting with the school admin and teachers seriously (as most logical, level headed parents would) change may have taken place. Now, as of yesterday, when his son cut a little girls pigtail right off with a pair of scissors and claiming "her blonde hair is ugly", his son is expelled. At age 5. I think the school was in an interesting and difficult position in this case, considering the position of the father. Regardless, the boy needs counselling, and probably won't receive it. Sorry I frustrated you, certainly wasn't my intention.

~aamama--where was this kid's mother? Divorced, dead, not allowed to leave the house? Maybe that has to do with the kid's behavior.

I agree. This is usually a kid's cry for help... and I doubt this little boy will get it.

He could be a psychopath, father too.

I just read an article, written by a neurologist about how he discovered that he was a psychopath (non-violent) by looking at brain scans.

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/a...chopath/282271/

Sadly, it seems their brains are hard-wired that way.

I haven't read this whole thread as it seems to have gone a bit off topic. Wanted to say I'm sorry you dealt with this. Wanted to share one of my favorite quotes with you:

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Eleanor Roosevelt