Shock!! I got remarried just over two years ago......in July 2000.....I knew of course that I had put on more weight, up and above my normal high but I didn't realize how much........we all have a way of denying reality sometimes, don't we??
On a sunday I got my developed wedding photos back and I was devestated.........horrified at what I looked like.....how big I had become. I felt so different on the inside from what I looked like on the outside...........they just did not match in any way. I cried from humiliation, frustration, hopelessness.......*deep sigh*.....but it was a wake up call. The next day I started my new way of eating......I have pretty much stayed on the induction diet most of this time..........with several periods in between when I just lost control and went slightly insane as far as eating is concerned. I've been pretty strict with induction since March and have lost 51 lbs. since then.
All told I had 160 lbs to lose. It hasn't been easy much of the time but I know with all I am that it is the right WOE for me.............the only way. I wish you all every success~

AlluraD I can totally relate to those insane days. I have had one every day for about a week now. I thought maybe I was depressed or something but I thought about it and realized that I did this about 6 months ago too. I dont know if my body needs this insane time or just my mind. I dont, but good luck to you and great work. Your under 200 yea, I am so looking forward to being under 200.

Hi ally~ *smile* All I know is that if I eat what I know is good for me on the lc program and very carefully avoid sugar at all costs I don't crave "junk"......if I have ANY then I go beserk..........so......*laughing*.........I try really hard to make sure I never have anything that will set me off. I have to laugh because it really is so nuts.........and if I didn't I'd cry~
I know it's not easy to stay strong sometimes........for me it's a matter of really letting myself be good to ME! If I am feeling stressed and craving things I know are not good choices I eat......eat........eat.......cheese, meat, eggs......as much as I want........and lots of water........or seltzer and DaVinci vanilla syrup so I feel like I am treating myself and it works most of the time.
Sometimes the reality is for me that I have made the choice, and it is one, to eat something sugar-laden..........but one thing I have learned is that that doesn't have to destroy me............I can just see it for what it is and know that my life goes on..........that moment can pass and I am free to make other better choices for myself and not just chuck the whole thing like I would have done years ago. I like myself.......I am good......and I want to do things for myself to make me stronger........more sure........happier and healthier........ok.........so I can really ramble!! *L* I'm here whenever you want to talk~

I was definitely one of those people that had come to the point where I was resigned to a life of being fat, lonely and miserable. I was never much of a dieter before, I guess I was in denial about how big I'd become and therefore didn't make any grand efforts to change. The turning point came on the night of a formal Christmas gathering of an organization I am a member of. I was helping out three of my so-called friends check people in and give them their nametags etc. Well, my friend Linda's fiance walks up to the table and she introduces him to everyone at the table except me, like I was invisible or something. I know that doesn't seem like much but I was already feeling depressed about going stag to this thing and feeling uncomfortable with what I was wearing that it really just struck a chord with me. I remember going home and bawling, a few days later I started Atkins. That was in January 2001.

The next year and half I was off and on LC like 10 times never really lasting more than 30 or so days. What made me change my WOL for good was I just got tired of being fat. I had gotten a hold of PP and PPLP and had even followed them for awhile, but things just didn't click. Then one day, I had baked two pies the night before and I remember looking at one of them and thinking "I don't want to eat it. I don't want to be THIS person anymore" so I threw it away. It finally clicked. Before I guess I wasn't ready, now I know what being rock-bottom feels like. That was 85 days ago and I am totally committed. There is no looking back for me!!!

*big hug*.......I am so glad for you. There is so much emotional pain that comes with being heavy.........and so much freedom of the heart that comes with making good choices for yourself. I'm sorry for the pain you felt.......I have felt it too and it's a horrible place to be. I am so happy for you that you have made up your mind AND your heart to do this for you!! It really does feel great doesn't it?

Thank you!!!! And yes, it does feel great, I feel like I've found freedom in this WOL. It's wonderful!!!!

"I am only one; but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something.
I will not refuse to do the
something I CAN do."

Helen Keller

*wishing you a great day*

Thanks Allura, You are alot of help.. I need to hear all the positive stuff. I had another bad day with eating. I get so mad at myself. It has been over a yr now and 100 lbs later. I should be proud of myself and where I have come from where I have been. Today was just today. Tomarrow is another day! My difference will be tomarrow and all the tomarrows after that.

Chrissy, Good luck to you. I had a friend tell me yrs ago that Ill know when it is time to loose the wt. It wont happen till you are ready. She was right. I tried so many diets and gained everything back and then some. That day back in May 2001 was my turning point.

Keep in touch.

Now if I could only take my own advice everyday I would be fine~

I'm feeling a little frustrated right now because I haven't lost in many weeks even though I am doing the same things I have all along.......it's hard to be patient and stay focuded on what I have already lost and not on how much I still have to lose.

Guess I will have to go back and reread or something.........cut down to the bare bones for a week or so I don't know.........but even discouraged I won't go back to the way I was eating before......just hard to not suffer any angst in the meantime.

It wasn't just one thing that got me motivated, it was a whole collection of things...
* All of my friends are very slim people, I always feel like the odd one out. I'll go shopping with them & they will go to the clothing stores where it seems like the size XL is really a Medium.
*& I hate getting those judgmental stares from people.
* My Dad is one of those people who beleives that all women should be skinny, he is always making fun of my weight, to some points where it almost brings me to tears.
* I'm a college student and the desks in some of my classes, I could barely get myself into, I was so embarrased.
*I had let myself get so big that I just hated myself for it, & I was just praying for God to let me die.

Then one day, I woke up & realized that I deserve more than what I'm giving myself credit for. & I can change this, it may take some time, but I beleive I can do it!

PopRawks~ *hug*...............
........you know even after loosing 120 lbs..........the pain of things like what you told about is fresh and hurts still.

It can be a horribly demoralizing this.......an undoing of who you are as a person. I am very proud of you for being open and caring about your own life.

I know once I was flying across country and there was no way I could buckle the seat belt on the plane.......I was so ashamed that I just could not draw attention to myself by asking the stewardess for an extention belt.............I was so heart sick........thinking how insane I was for preferring possible death or injury to being further embarrased and humiliated because of my weight........*deep sigh*............

I wish you the strength of your own heart. Sometimes women are taught that to really love themselves is conceit........but it is what gives us the strength to be ourselves.............to care for and do what we need to nurture our own spirits........I wish you every dream come true..........if you were my daughter I would wrap my arms around you and tell you this.

Hang in there~

AlluraD -

Thank you so much. That really meant a lot to me.

*s* Have you started a journal?? It's a great idea. They are listed in alphabetical order........just use your sign in name.......that way friends can follow how you are doing and it's a great place for you to keep track of your progress, your journey......and as a sounding board.......welcome~

Hello Ladies(AlluraD and POPrawk) Hope I spelled them right. Pop, You have come to the right place and starting the right way of eating. I have lost 100 lbs Since 6-1-01.. I have been having a real hard time of it here lately and even think I have gained some lbs back. But Im getting back on track. Just take ea. day as it comes. We are not alone. I said in a post once, about the difference it is now going down stairs now. I can actually see the stair I am about to step on and it falls my equal liberium off something bad. I can't spell by the way. I went to Walt Dys. and road some roller coasters before I lost the lbs. I could barley fit in the seats. You hang in there. Keep in touch.

Hi ally~
I've been having a hard time too...........feel like we are in the same boat. Frustrated..........but hanging in there.......after this lose I don't ever want to go back to where I was before. Never~
The weird thing is that even though I know I have lost a lot of weight..........self image is a strange thing........I'm not a very good judge of where I am or how I look.........still tied up in how I was before.......weird rambling of the ego I guess.
I'm here anytime to talk, post........we have pretty sinilar experiences I think in some ways.......hope the day is a good one for you~