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  #1   ^
Old Wed, Sep-05-12, 18:51
sexym2's Avatar
sexym2 sexym2 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 4,850
 
Plan: Depends on the Day
Stats: 221/169.6/145 Female 5' 10"
BF:
Progress: 68%
Location: Southeastern, Iowa USA
Default Binging is Ruling My Life

I am a binge/over eater, I've have emitting it openly for over a year now. It seems to be difficult to over come, I've come to the realization, that I can't do it on my own.

I've called to make an appt with a therapist, Oct 10!! Can you believe it? The next OA meating isn't till this Saturday morning, I'm going. I'm going to check the next phone OA meating, theres one daily, just got to look up the time.

I've also ordered these books, I don't know if they will help or not, but having the info is bound to be good.

* "Food: The Good Girl's Drug: How to Stop Using Food to Control Your Feelings"
* "Life is Hard, Food is Easy: The 5-Step Plan to Overcome Emotional Eating and Lose Weight on Any Diet"
Spangle, Linda;
* "Shrink Yourself: Break Free from Emotional Eating Forever"
Gould, Roger;
* "The Binge Eating and Compulsive Overeating Workbook: An Integrated Approach to Overcoming Disordered Eating (The New Harbinger Whole-Body Healing Seri"

I feel at loss as to help myself. I've been exercising and eating, trying to stick with LC and eating fat. I'm full and confortable but my body takes over and the next thing I know, I've spent money and binging on junk food. When it occures to me what I'm doing, I do throw it all away but it to late.

One day at a time isn't helping, I feel like its getting worse and I'm falling farther and farther from the wagon (could never run fast enough).

I'm not giving up, but its deffanitely getting to me. I feel lost and I don't know how to find my way home or how to stay there.

I think about food most of the day, I try to stay busy, but that doesn't really help. As a home-maker I can come and go as I please and drop what I'm doing. I have made lists of things to get done, and I do them, but at some point I get the great idea to find junk to eat. At that point my list is forgotten.

I'd like to have a goal (it is my goal) of being binge free for 1 month. Is that to much for me to ask?
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  #2   ^
Old Thu, Sep-06-12, 01:31
Lulumae's Avatar
Lulumae Lulumae is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,092
 
Plan: Atkins, sort of
Stats: 184/166/152 Female 5'6
BF:
Progress: 56%
Default

I think you are very courageous. I'm sure you'll find a way through this. My problem is more with drink than food but it's the same mechanism - something to do with receptors in the brain, low serotonin or whatever. Every so often you just lose it. The addictive mechanisms are becoming better understood but what to do about them is still not so easy. Food is really a hard one because you have to eat. If you are still bingeing while doing low carb, there must be some trigger you haven't identified yet. My theory is that it's more to do with chemistry than anything to do with personality or personal history, but it may be both. I think buried emotions and an inability to deal with them may be part of my problem.
Anyway, I really hope you get some answers to your questions.
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  #3   ^
Old Thu, Sep-06-12, 06:40
sexym2's Avatar
sexym2 sexym2 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 4,850
 
Plan: Depends on the Day
Stats: 221/169.6/145 Female 5' 10"
BF:
Progress: 68%
Location: Southeastern, Iowa USA
Default

This morning I told BF that I hide most of the binging from him. He has no idea how bad I am and the kind of money I've spent. He told me that if I need help, then I need to go and get it. Thats so nice of him, but if feel so stupid, he seems so in control and no real behavior problems. I binge/overeat and can't stop, i've tried going to family and they don't get it. My mother doesn't have an issue with over eating yet she tells me she understands Have to give her credit for trying. BF over eats but not like I do, he doesn't worry and think about the food and how to get it. Although, I'm in trouble if I don't pack 2 pops, bowl of chips and a candy bar in his lunch Yesterday I forgot the extra pop, and gave him a half a candy bar (oops), later i told him that he eats a 1000 calories a day just in junk food plus his normal food. The only reason he's not huge and diabetic is because he eats 2 meals a day and I keep supper pretty LC and he doesn't eat a big meal. I don't want him or my children to end up like me, no one wants to live this way.

His father looks diabetic to me, he's very large through the middle, he got a sore on his shin 2 months ago and his finally healed and still looks purple and nasty scar. I cracked my shin on the same rock in the river as he did, we had almost identical marks on our shins. Mine healed up in a week and no scar, his looks awful, he has adema in his legs. I don't usually see his legs because he wears pants, the other night he had his boxers on and I couldn't believe his adema. I've mentioned that he needs a health exam because he could be a diabetic but he wont go. He binges, but his binges happen at the supper table. I put the food away before he eats it ALL. He says its stupid to waste the food, but I'd rather feed it to the dog. I've seeen them share a second steak just so the food isn't wasted, both were ful but they still ate it. I've gotten BF out of that habit, he doesn't stuff himself at home, just when we eat with his father. His father could care less about sugary junk, but normal meals, its like he's 10 again, and his 15 siblings are going to take all the food. I've been their (step father took the food) but stuffing yourself is not the answer.

Gosh, If I ever get over this, I hope I don't become preachy, theres nothing worse than a recovered alcoholic preaching and ruining everyone elses party It happens often, I don't want to be one of them.

Thankfully I don't drink often, dont care to. I like the wine, smirdoff, or mikes hard lemonade, higher alcohol and a lot higher sugar then beer. Sometimes I really want to drink with the others and I will, happens like 2X a month. None of us drink often, BF doesn't drink much either unless he's running with one of his buddies, then I know I will have to go get him. Happens alot after their done coon hunting in the fall. I just don't see why they need to drink afterwards. Probably wont understand, oh well, I'm just as screwed up.
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  #4   ^
Old Thu, Sep-06-12, 08:15
leemack's Avatar
leemack leemack is offline
NEVER GIVING UP!
Posts: 5,030
 
Plan: no sugar/grains LCHF IF
Stats: 478/354/200 Female 5' 9"
BF:excessive!!
Progress: 45%
Location: UK
Default

I think you're doing the right thing getting help. This is an issue I struggle with too, so I totally understand.

OA sounds like a good idea. let us know how you get on.

Good luck.

Lee
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  #5   ^
Old Thu, Sep-06-12, 10:42
Seejay's Avatar
Seejay Seejay is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,025
 
Plan: Optimal Diet
Stats: 00/00/00 Female 62 inches
BF:
Progress: 8%
Default

Hey good luck! You might be closer than you think. It's hard to see progress when you feel like you are still bingeing - but, are they farther apart? smaller?

I recovered from a forty year binge habit. It was a gradual thing - the binges got further and further apart, and smaller. It is like ancient history now. I don't even have those feelings any more - my body is different. It took a while for better eating to repair my physical and emotional self.

here's a success story to cheer you up. A lady who recovered from bingeing by sticking with it (Primal eating).

http://www.marksdailyapple.com/the-.../#axzz25hz6i7DT
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  #6   ^
Old Thu, Sep-06-12, 14:04
sexym2's Avatar
sexym2 sexym2 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 4,850
 
Plan: Depends on the Day
Stats: 221/169.6/145 Female 5' 10"
BF:
Progress: 68%
Location: Southeastern, Iowa USA
Default

Her story is great, almost to great. She only went to one therapy session? Does that mean it wasn't all in her head?

Going Primal is a grand idea, I've been considering it myself but I don't know if I'm ready. That means no condaments or diet soda or anything processes, bacon, sausage, I don't know if I'm ready/willing to do that.

I am going M&E, maybe some salad veggies with supper (role module for the kids)

I actually have been feeling rather impowered this afternoon. I ate 2 candy bars this morning, that couldn't be it Had to deviled eggs for lunch and been working out this afternoon. Not done yet, in no great hurry as long as its done before the kids get home.

I've descided to set goals for myself. I'm seaking help, and I do feel better admitting it to my best friend.

Goal #1 I bought a second pair of expensive shoes for in the house, I'm not going to open them till I have been one week binge free. They wont be in for close to a week, and I really want clean shoes in the house! What woman doesn't like new shoes?

Goal #2 Buy myself new leg weights, I've only got the one and its only 6 lbs. I really would like 2 of them (hence 2 legs) and 10 lbs a piece. That will be 2 weeks binge free.

I don't know what 3 weeks could bring me, I'm actually a bit unscertain if I can do 3 weeks or if thats too much pressure. I'd like a new set of hand weights, the ones with a dial and its all together. Expensive! Maybe if I can have some major binge free time by christmas?

I was thinking 1 month binge free, getting a deep tissue massage and a lymph node message. Good for the body all around, with BF new how to give a good message

Tomorrow I may be crying in the ice cream but right now, I'm feeling pretty good. TOM is due Sunday, ish, that alone could give issues. I've been crying all morning, heck of a thing to deal with when TOM is approaching!

I am going to listen in to tomorrows OA phone meeting, again. I hope its a little different, I didn't get much info out of it. People were speaking up, and kept getting off subject, got irritating listening to them ramble. Used up my minutes without learning much. It was really great that what I'm going through is commen, all that I do is normal for a compulsive over eater. Weird I know, but helpful and makes me feel better.

I'm home by myself all day, that could play a part in my binging. I'm lonely, and bored. Trying to distract myself works for only so long, something deep inside takes over and I'm eating junk food without even realizing it. I'm hoping a therapest can help with those problems.

I am surprised more people havne't commented on this topic. Is to to commen? Is it not commen? Do people not wish to share about it? Embarassed as I am? Is this topic discussed to often? I don't see very often at all.
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  #7   ^
Old Thu, Sep-06-12, 14:16
MizKitty's Avatar
MizKitty MizKitty is offline
95% Sugar Free!
Posts: 7,010
 
Plan: Very high fat LC/HCG
Stats: 310/155.4/159 Female 67 inches
BF:
Progress: 102%
Location: Missouri
Default

I admire your honesty and confronting yourself and seeking the help you need. You're really grabbing this bull by the horns! Good for you.
Those books sound good, and I'm sure you will find the therapist and OA group will have some good insights to share with you. (Have you checked youtube for some OA videos? Maybe they'd be better than the phone meetings?)
You must feel better already, some sense of relief, that you have taken these steps and set the ball in motion.
Much good luck to you! We've been on these boards together for a little while now, and I see how hard you struggle and how much you care, so I'll be rooting for you!
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  #8   ^
Old Thu, Sep-06-12, 14:23
Seejay's Avatar
Seejay Seejay is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,025
 
Plan: Optimal Diet
Stats: 00/00/00 Female 62 inches
BF:
Progress: 8%
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sexym2
Her story is great, almost to great. She only went to one therapy session? Does that mean it wasn't all in her head?
It wasn't all in mine. It was in my body. However my mind is my body too! eating affects the brain.

Quote:
Going Primal is a grand idea, I've been considering it myself but I don't know if I'm ready. That means no condaments or diet soda or anything processes, bacon, sausage, I don't know if I'm ready/willing to do that.
Well remember Primal requires only 80% compliance. YOu could spend your 20% on the stuff you like the most.

Quote:
Goal #1 I bought a second pair of expensive shoes for in the house, I'm not going to open them till I have been one week binge free. They wont be in for close to a week, and I really want clean shoes in the house! What woman doesn't like new shoes?
Have you considered a goal based on what you put in, instead of what you take out?
Take out the binges for a week - one goal.
Put in all your good food, on time, no starving - the other side of the coin.

Quote:
I don't know what 3 weeks could bring me, I'm actually a bit unscertain if I can do 3 weeks or if thats too much pressure.
I vote too much pressure if that was a question. That is not a baby step with this condition. Now, something like, tomorrow, eat all your planned food on time, that would be a great size goal.

Quote:
I am surprised more people havne't commented on this topic. Is to to commen? Is it not commen? Do people not wish to share about it? Embarassed as I am? Is this topic discussed to often? I don't see very often at all.
I almost didn't comment because I didn't see you asking me anything. Sometimes people just want to vent and not hear from others.
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  #9   ^
Old Thu, Sep-06-12, 15:09
sexym2's Avatar
sexym2 sexym2 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 4,850
 
Plan: Depends on the Day
Stats: 221/169.6/145 Female 5' 10"
BF:
Progress: 68%
Location: Southeastern, Iowa USA
Default

Quote:
I almost didn't comment because I didn't see you asking me anything. Sometimes people just want to vent and not hear from others.

I was venting yes, but I figures more people would pop in with their own stories.
Quote:
Have you considered a goal based on what you put in, instead of what you take out?
Take out the binges for a week - one goal.
Put in all your good food, on time, no starving - the other side of the coin

I have, I know that if I don't binge for a week, I will feel better. I know if I make it for 2 weeks, I'm making better habits and will be all around healthier. Something along the lines of " good food, on time, no starving - the other side of the coin."

I want over all health, fitness, weight management and not being weak and unhealthy like my Mother. I watch her blood sugar bounce around, she's weak, very little muscle tone, 2 back surguries. I have to wonder if the first, she was late 30's was partially due to weak muscles. She's always hurting and fearful of getting hurt/sick. I don't want to be like that. I want to be healthy, I don't want to obsess over food my whole life. If setting small goals like getting my shoes out, helps a little why not? Those new shoes are for my health. I have hip/back problems, the shoes seem to help. I have also started strength training for my health and of course to look better.

Quote:
It wasn't all in mine. It was in my body. However my mind is my body too! eating affects the brain
.
I am wondering if part of mine is from depresson, I'm alone in the house all day and I don't have issues when I'm with other adults, also bordom. Also there is the physical aspect, I get cravings after meals and I've had the LC flu. SOmetimes the cravings are awful and I get snarly.
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  #10   ^
Old Thu, Sep-06-12, 19:33
WereBear's Avatar
WereBear WereBear is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 14,605
 
Plan: EpiPaleo/Primal/LowOx
Stats: 220/125/150 Female 67
BF:
Progress: 136%
Location: USA
Default

I used to binge/starve.

I'm fortunate that I didn't throw up (LOL) because that is really dangerous and bad for your teeth.

Sometimes, it was because I was desperate, desperate, to feel good for a little while. As a teenager I was under terrible stress, asked to do more than I could handle, and I still have to hunt down and eradicate the bad thoughts and feelings that come from that time.

It got better when I did 2 things:

*I got far more control of my life, and my stress went down about 80%.

*I sat down once a day and inventoried my feelings. If I felt lousy, I tried to figure out what, and if I felt good I did the same thing.

So often, I would reach for the food to shut down the thoughts in my brain and the feeling in my heart. When I let them run free... I didn't binge any more.
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  #11   ^
Old Fri, Sep-07-12, 03:02
Kirsteen's Avatar
Kirsteen Kirsteen is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,819
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 217/145/143 Female 171cm
BF:
Progress: 97%
Default

Sorry it's hard for you. I'm sure everyone sympathises, but I guess people aren't commenting because there probably aren't any simple answers, and you've already got ideas which will help.

I noticed that you mentioned that you binged after a meal.. I am wondering if your blood sugar / insulin balance is out of whack? You could try limiting yourself to 10g carbs each at lunch and dinner to see if that helps, because if your insulin has kicked in and dropped the blood sugar too low, then the body will crave more carbs.

Hormones are probably responsible for part of it, and they can be so overwhelming that it's difficult to counter it. I once got put on the contraceptive pill to help with my hormonal turbulance - it worked fantastically well for the hormones, but I put on a ton of weight, so I cannot recommend that, lol.

There's probably also a mixture of habit, boredom and emotional issues.. I've started to do more things like crafts or even online jigsaw puzzles when I'm watching TV or sitting down - I never leave my hands empty now, so there's less likelihood of eating for something to do. Also, I've noticed how extrovert you are. I'm the same, and it leads to me not really dealing well with my emotions.. I just shove them out of the way and move on, then they become buried baggage which probably impacts me in some ways, but I don't know how to dig it back up to deal with it. Maybe keeping a daily diary of your feelings would help?

Another thing which helps me is listening to Jimmy Moore's pocasts - he has lots of them and they're interesting and inspiring. The "low-carb conversation" show usually has a couple of hosts and a couple of guests, so it's more chatty and social. You could also listen to the radio, which would be company for you. There are also the Overeater's Anonymous LA podcasts - they're really good too.. http://www.oalaig.org/speakers-podc...a-speakers.html. Anything like that helps to counter feelings of isolation and boredom.

Another thing to consider is that although you probably can't work because your children are a bit dependent, perhaps you could start thinking of possibilities to generate an income from home, or train for a future job.. Even if you never work again, thinking about it will give you something challenging to occupy your mind. I'm stuck at home with ill-health, but I do skill swaps, which is quite social really, and I've started to learn a couple of languages and thought up plots of about eleven books (I'll probably never manage to get them on paper, lol, but I enjoy making them up). It all fills my days with something interesting rather than time just dripping away.

Anyway, sorry I cannot be of more use, but I hope things will feel better soon.

Last edited by Kirsteen : Fri, Sep-07-12 at 03:13.
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  #12   ^
Old Fri, Sep-07-12, 13:08
liddie01's Avatar
liddie01 liddie01 is offline
Butter is Better!
Posts: 5,894
 
Plan: Atkins OWL
Stats: 234/220.4/160 Female 5"8.5"
BF:its back again!
Progress: 18%
Location: Mount Carmel, Pa.
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I am a binge eater, but if I totally avoid wheat and sugar I do okay, they are my trigger foods and both of them lead to horrible cravings.
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  #13   ^
Old Sun, Sep-09-12, 17:18
sexym2's Avatar
sexym2 sexym2 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 4,850
 
Plan: Depends on the Day
Stats: 221/169.6/145 Female 5' 10"
BF:
Progress: 68%
Location: Southeastern, Iowa USA
Default

Kirsteen, I seem to usually want to eat more after meals, even if they are low carb. I don't eat after meals, we don't eat dessert here and I don't keep that crap in the house. I don't want the kids to see me this way.

Being along does play a big part in my binging but I've also noticed I get those feeling when I'm with others. It dauned on me this afternoon that I get them with others around I simply can't act on them. I will not let others see me this way, I hide it well. When I'm on my own, I can get the junk food, theres no one there to see me. I have to make myself accountable for what I do.

I went to my first OA meeting Saturday morning. There wasn't very many people there, they were very friendly and accepting. I was worried that I would be frowned at because I'm not large. If they had an issue with my smaller size, no one showed it. One lady spoke with me at length after the meeting and we discussed the steps, her troubles and how she's managed things all these years and if she can get a meeting going closer to me. Apparently another lady not far from me was asking about getting a meeting nearby.

All in all, the meeting went well. I will be going Saturday to the next meeting. I plan on sitting down with the books the OA lent me, tonight.

I have not overeating since Thursday morning. I'm happy about that, but it scares me too. I've had more and more food thoughts in my head today. I've been with others most of the day and I wont eat junk in front of others. I need to go day by day and somehow get through this.
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  #14   ^
Old Mon, Sep-10-12, 02:24
Lulumae's Avatar
Lulumae Lulumae is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,092
 
Plan: Atkins, sort of
Stats: 184/166/152 Female 5'6
BF:
Progress: 56%
Default

Congratulations on going to the meeting. You're really going to make it this time, I'm sure.
It occurs to me that there is a very "moralistic" approach to food in the media, etc. these days. OK, sweets aren't good for us and fast food is not the healthiest thing out, but our bodies need fuel and will take whatever's going. Eating a big mac is probably not the best food choice we can make and we should bring up our kids to eat sensibly, but we should also steer clear of orthorexia. Cooking delicious healthy meals is a great antidote to eating "junk". It channels one's interest in food in a constructive way - provided you can avoid trigger foods and situations and eating while you cook. There are some fantastic LC cook books out there.
All the best,
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  #15   ^
Old Mon, Sep-10-12, 06:35
sexym2's Avatar
sexym2 sexym2 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 4,850
 
Plan: Depends on the Day
Stats: 221/169.6/145 Female 5' 10"
BF:
Progress: 68%
Location: Southeastern, Iowa USA
Default

I do cook tastey, healthy, low carb meals, then I add a carby side like fruit, a potatoe or what BF wants. The meal is not centered around the carbs its centered around the meat and veggies. I very seldom make sandwiches for them, if I do, theres plenty of meat involved and a veggie on the side not chips.

I don't eat the carbs at meals, but I don't want my children to grow up without carbs either. I'm afraid when they get out without me and can eat the carbs that they would binge from not being used to the carbs. I do tell them at the dinner table what is healthy and what isn't and what should be eaten in small amounts. Its really hard when the school teaches them whole grains are good, have a cookie couple a couple wont hurt and snacks are important.

Lulumae and everyone else, thank you for your confadence in me. I'm not scertain I have it in my self from all the times I keeped binging when I didn't want to but I want to get past this. The lady leading the OA meeting doesn't overeat any more. She calls herself a "recovering overeater," not "recovered." She said she still hears the comments in her head telling her to eat the junk but not often and now she knows how to cope with it. She still goes to the meeting to keep herself honest and stay with it. That in itself is the most honest thing that I've heard!

I remember when I told my then, husband that I had a problem and couldn't stop eating he told me to " just don't eat it." I told that to the OA group and they thought that was so funny, just because it was the stupidest advice a person could give to a person in my situation. Most of them have heard it themselves from those that don't understand.
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