I'm fairly certain that this post said something different before...



But yes, it is a sensitive discussion. Beauty is most definitely in the eye of the beholder, and opinions can be drastically different from person to person.

Still, I think it is worth discussing. For most of us (of both genders, but females especially), we are taught practically from birth that if we put on weight we will automatically be less attractive (if at all). It's actually somewhat disturbing to think about.

For me personally, I have known attractive people at many different weights, as well as unattractive people at varying weights. I know a rail thin woman who, in my opinion, has the sex appeal of cardboard. I also know an obese woman that just seems to ooze sexy. And yet when it comes to myself...I can't seem to apply the same open-mindedness. I am overweight (obese, technically) so therefore I must be an undesirable and unattractive woman.

It's odd, inconsistent, and unfortunate. And yet I know I am not the only one who feels this way. It is very interesting to read the stories and opinions of others.

Haha Yes, you are right. I, personally, have a problem looking at a morbidly obese person. I live in the area with many many many morbidly obese people and every time, I go to Walmart, I feel depressed because I seem to be the only one looking normal...Right now, I am in Colorado and it's like a breeze of fresh air to see that almost everyone has healthy weight.

Obviously, yeah, someone can be both fat and attractive. I mean, look at someone like Queen Latifa. Is anyone going to say she's *not* a beautiful woman? She's a spokeswoman for a cosmetic company, for goodness' sake. They pay her big bucks for her pretty face to promote their products and she's definitely gotta be classified in the obese range.

But, a couple things. A lot has to do with a person's proportions and how they carry their weight. For instance, I myself unfortunately bloat up in the face when I am even slightly overweight and because my features are small and delicate to begin with, I lose whatever facial prettiness I have. Other people don't get fat faces even when their bodies are really heavy OR they have such strong features (huge eyes, heavy bone structure) that gaining weight in the face doesn't affect their looks (or actually makes them better looking).

Secondly (and unfairly) I do think that fat people have to put forth a little more effort with their appearance to be considered attractive. A fat woman who has a really nice haircut/color, wears some tasteful makeup, and dresses in stylish clothes is probably going to be more positively rated on the attractiveness scale than one in frumpy sweats, no makeup, and stringy hair, whereas one who fits more with our societal conception of attractiveness (let's say thin, tall, blond, and young) will probably be considered pretty by a lot of people even if she's in the supermarket in pjs, with greasy hair in a ponytail and unshaven legs.

Attractiveness as in sexiness is a whole nother matter. Some people, no matter what their appearance (thin, fat, tall, short, ugly, pretty), just exude something charismatic that makes other people wanna be with them.

Me too! It's awful how my cheeks puff out even with a very slight weight gain...

I totally agree with this. I have some larger female clients who comment that I'm always well turned out, have lovely hair (I'm lucky enough to have long, dark curly hair) and where do I get my clothes. They are sitting in front of me in leggings and a t-shirt, unwashed, unkempt hair and no make up, but think that some magical clothes will make them look better. It takes effort for most people to look nice whatever their size - though I'm sure there are a few people who can roll out of bed and look great - I certainly am not one of them. I always think I have to do more because I'm so fat, to look halfway presentable.

But I also think distribution of fat is important. I'm a pear shape and have a long neck, these things mean I have a better time, I think, than an apple with a short neck. A friend of mine hates her short neck as she says it disappears and leaves her chin sitting on her chest, she also says I'm lucky because I can cover a lot up with a long flowly skirt and well shaped top. I don't know, these things make me look less fat, but I'm not sure that it makes me attractive. If you're fat, its kinda in the eye of the beholder, that they can get over the being fat thing, because if they can't, then no amount of prettying yourself up will make you attractive to them. Some people are just prejudiced that way.

Lee

Pretty is as pretty does!!

LOL I love that saying.

I'm often baffled by some of the goofy or scrawny-looking women that are considered "hot" celebrities. And most supposedly "gorgeous" models look downright ugly to me, I just don't see the charm.

There was a recent controversy about a film critic's comments on Queen Latifah's size in her film Just Wright.

Here's a blog post discussing it that also references the original review:

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?no...&_fb_noscript=1

That critic wrote an interesting book on female stars in pre-code movies, many of whom don't get the attention they deserve now, such as Norma Shearer.

It's disappointing that someone who brought welcome attention to these unconventional early stars and their roles would fail to see the cultural value of Queen Latifah, who seems in charge of her career and has great star quality. Her size, queenly bearing, and appreciation of good food were cast in a very positive light in the charming "Last Holiday."

On one hand, it's true that we're all idiosyncratic in who or what we find attractive. And just because you're overweight yourself doesn't mean that you're naturally turned on by other overweight people! (I've personally observed that overweight men seem to prefer much slimmer women.)

But when you start getting into judgments on how much happiness, pleasure, or satisfaction someone should receive based on their size, then it becomes a very toxic discussion, and the person making those judgments needs to examine their own hangups and biases--because it's about them and not those who they judge.

Yes, I always look at Tricia Helfer and apart from the fact she's slim, can't see what everyone goes crazy about.

Lee

I think when a woman's thighs hips and butt are big they become more sexier...it does something to men...well it does for me...but I think It Is Important to know how The woman feels about her body?
I know I don't Like having a big tummy for example...But I don't know how it feels to have big thighs hips and butt?
does it make a woman feel sexier?
does it have its down sides?
please Tell.

I hate having big thighs and butt. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. If I gain even a little bit of weight, everything goes into my thighs and butt. My tummy has always been flat so - no issues there. All in all, I am not into the Venus look at all...I am pretty sure, not a lot of people share my opinion

jonkia,
thank you for sharing your thoughts...so at last I have an understanding how some women feeling being thick hipped thighed and butt.
the strange thing though jonkia is being thick hipped thighed and butt for so some women is important...have you noticed how so many women wear tight jeans that show off their lower body these days?
and yet when I see them I often wonder how they feel?
I know having a flabby tummy for example is very uncomfortable for me...so I can only Imagine how women that are thick in the hips thighs and butt must feel.
I would imagine running would be difficult and uncomfortable?

They wear tight jeans because tight jeans are "in", but trust me, all of those women who are a bit thick in the lower areas dream they would be much thinner.
It's like wearing an extra baggage on your hips all the time. No fun at all.

I completely agree with this... I do have to admit though, that I am guilty of having the thought float about that someone would be even more so attractive if they shed some pounds. Very hypocritical of such a large woman I must say.




YES!! This is me as well, couldn't have said it any better. Why do we do this to ourselves? I have found that when I'm out in public that if anyone looks at me for more than a split second that they must be thinking about how ridiculously fat I am. I have never been "thin", but I know that I haven't always thought this way. There was a time when, if someone was looking at me, I thought to myself that they were "checking me out"...I no longer do this. Now, I tend to go with the thought that they MUST be disgusted if they're looking at me too long.

I think attractiveness has more to do with personality to me. There are quite a few larger men in the office that I work in, and they are the sweetest, kindest, larger than life personality kind of people. I would choose one of them over one of the scrawny guys anyday. One in particular is probably 100lbs overweight and I find him really sexy.

I think Mike Gardell on the sitcom Mike & Molly is totally cute! (and a great actor) Hope they pick up the show for another season. I saw him on a talk show and he was very candid about his size and working with a trainer.