Hi there everyone!!!!
I know this is a bit of a taboo subject but it is also a very important subject.
Have you ever or do you know someone that battles an eating disorder?
I have and still battle bulimia. My bulimia returns whenever I am dieting. I have to force myself to not purge everyday. I have also abuse laxatives and that too is a everyday battle.

Why am I telling you all this? I want to know if there are others out there so we can support each other in this battle everyday!

This weekend my foe got the better of me and then I beat myself up with guilt. I woke up at 241 Saturday morning and I was proud and happy and everything else that come with breaking a stall. Then yesterday morning I was at 243 and it was down hill from there. I fought it all day and almost (hubby made me eat) did not eat.
I thank God for hubby, he sees the red flags and he calls me out on them.

So again anyone else in this battle with me? If so lets help each other out!

Hey Dark Fairy, I think your question is an important one and glad you brought it up. I fight with Anorexia every time I diet!

It goes back to my Jr and Sr years of high school. I started not eating then and lost a ton of weight. I got to the point where I was eating 5 saltine crackers and one bit of cottage cheese a WEEK!!! It didn't take long to become a mental problem, and I still fight it to this day. The heavier I am, the better I am at eating like I should. But as I go down in weight I'll start to revert back. I have to really fight it.

After high school a really close friend lost his life in an auto accident and that hit me really hard, so to help deal with it I went out west and did a 2 month backpacking/ trail building program in the Rockies. This saved me and brought me back to eating foods again (it was very hard for me though). I gained 25 lbs and went down a size in clothes!!

Fast-forward a couple years... I'm getting divorced and weigh 360 lbs. I decide to give the Atkins program a try. Long story short, a year later I'm down over 100 lbs and in another year I'm down another 50 lbs. But in order to lose the last 20 or so I revert back to not eating or when I do it's a bite of protein. I maintain my weight for a few years with only eating a few hundred calories a day. Then I finally let go of that and start to eat again, thinking that since I've maintained I can eat again. WRONG! Here I am, eight years after doing Atkins the first time at 330 lbs.

This time my weight isn't coming off like I want but I'm working being patient and eating. But the eating part is a challenge when I don't see results.

I've never had any problems bulimia, but can understand about the challenges of fighting theses problems.

Thank you so much, we are in this fight together. My problem is I get all OCD with the scale and the numbers. I can feel smaller and measure smaller but if the numbers are not moving I start purging.

I'm the same way! It drives me nuts at times. This past 10 days I've stayed at the same weight and I'm only on week 5 of induction. I'm about ready to pull my hair out since I'm not seeing the numbers get smaller but I keep telling myself "I have to be patient"... talk about a challenge!!

If you ever need some advice, encouragement, or just to vent, don't hesitate to drop me a line. I'm on here most every day and working on keeping a decent journal.

DarkFairy & Susan - I have no experience what so ever with eating disorders, there has been things that I have had to deal with and learn to change. Please don't beat yourselves up if you slip or feel like you fail, pick yourself back up and do the best you can. You are here and you are trying to help yourself, helping yourself is the best cure but be nice to yourself also.

Hi guys, anorexic here.

I know the warning signs, too, and thank GOD for this woe which allows me to make choices instead of my usual, 'not sure what to eat so I will eat nothing' pattern of behaviour.

Low carbing has solved so many issues, I can't begin to thank Dr Atkins for his book.

I battled bulemia in high school and college. I was pretty good at hiding it. When I was in college I was an RA in the dorms, and I would have all of these girls come to me about other girls on the floor who had eating disorders, and I'd do the counseling sessions with them and get them help. Meanwhile, I'd use my master key to sneak upstairs to the bathroom on the empty floor in the "penthouse" of our dorms that wasn't used and purge every time I ate. I also worked out about 5-6 hours a day well into my 20s until my body just sort of gave up and I wound up extremely ill and flatt on my butt for several months because I had been eating about 600-1200 calories a day, puking when I ate, and working out 5-6 hours a day. I'm pretty sure that is what set me up for how easily I gained weight for the rest of my adult life.

Fortunately, I managed to deal with the emotional issues that led to the eating disorder in the intervening years between then and now. I know the signs - and I do watch for them, especially on an emotional level. At this point I am ready to have my physical health match my emotional health. It took me a good 10 years to get to this point - so I know it will take a while to get here physically, as well, but I'm on my way. I guess we're always a work in progress - life is about growth.

WOW!! I am so glad that I posted this. I feel so much better knowing that I am not alone. It gets hard for me at times in this office when people bring cookies and donuts and all kinds of other crap but I know that my goal is greater then a 1 minute pleasure of a cookie and a weeks guilt of purging.

Hey NoWhammies!! Thanks for sharing that with us. It's amazing how easy eating disorders are to hide and how blind people around us can be.

I was similar to you in that I worked out 3 to 5 hours a day, and hardly eating 1000 calories a week. God only knows what kind of damage I've done to my internal body; I'm amazed that I'm still as healthy as I am. I also had girls from school come to me about their weight problems. Some shared with me that they had eating disorders and others wanted to know how I was dropping weight like I was. And all the other people were very encouraging. My parents were the worst to encourage me. They didn't know I wasn't eating since I avoided meal times with the family like the plague! But they also never questioned my loss.

I've come a long ways in my emotional eating problems but I also know that it will be something I fight with for the rest of my life. But I do know my signs and how to read them, it's just making sure I stay on top of things when I start to slide because that slide is what I really want to do deep down. I agree that we're always a work in progress... life truely is about growth!

I used to binge. It is the reason every time someone recommends I try IF I run for the door. I never want to be in a situation in which I think it is okay to really eat a lot. Just the physical sensation scares the dickens out of me, even though it is not accompanied by the emotional state. What I'm left with now is looking at a plate of food and not freaking out because I'm afraid it will get me going again.

I fought binge disorder for a long time. I try not to think about it much because if I do I start feeling the same emotions I used to feel and that frightens me.

I have never participated in an online forum devoted to weight loss where there were not a lot of people dealing with or who used to have eating disorders. You have a lot of company.

Compulsive overeater here.

Any food plan works. As long as you eat that way. But until I dealt with my underlying issues of WHY I ate and until I reached a point that I could commit to NOT overeating AT my life (good or bad), I couldn't lose weight and/or keep it off.

It's an ongoing struggle. I simply do it one day at a time.

I appreciate everyone's shares on their particular eating disorders. Keep coming back.

Thank you for your input and your thoughts. I feel better, I don't know about you all but last night when that green eyed monster sowed his head I thought about all of you and how you are fighting to not fail and that gave me strength to shove that those thoughts out of my head.

Glad to hear that! Keep it up you are doing great!

Hey everybody -

I battle all of it! I was over 200 pounds in highschool...where you learn the false idea of "women are based and judged by their looks, your looks equal success, your contribution to society...as a woman...is your attractiveness." (if thats even a word)

You get to a point....which, Im 26 now....where you are just willing to do WHATEVER it takes to be thin, you just dont care anymore. I never really fell deep in to an eating disorder, but I teater on the line all the time.

It takes a constant reminder, and a pissed off attitude, to remember you are more than what the hell you look like....just the fact that you are a breathing, thinking, self aware human makes you beautiful.

Hi
I guess it's time for me to add my 2 pennies worth. I was anorectic/body dysmorphia off and on from my teens through my early 30's. It was mostly body dysmorphic---I would lose too much weight but not enough to make myself sick. When you are a size 6 (at 5'4") and think you're too fat---something's wrong.

In my early 40's it was a short bout of bullemia. Realizing I could cause myself a heart attack or who-knows-what by doing that, I quit the bullemia and just exercised like a fiend. Excessive strain blew out my knees and I couldn't over-exercise anymore---and began a gradual slide into where I am now.

I know that my over-eating has always been caused by emotional issues.
There are many things in my life that I can't change now or make go away.
For me it's a matter of learning how not to use food as "emotional anesthesia".