I just had to share how much I love newborns. They are so cute--I love their little noises, faces and postures they make. I am so glad to be able to have another one!

Yay!! Congrats to be sure. They are so stinkin cuuuuute, aren't they? LOL

Ok, I know I've sounded perky lately (and to some extent I am) but tonight I'm a real collection of complex emotions. I wondered if anyone else has experienced continued mood swings and other points of stress during the first postpartum month. I guess it's a combination of my weight loss coming to a halt (or possibly worse) yet me not being ready to be aggressive about it yet...more home responsibilities piling up and feelings of frustration with me just wanting to get back to how I was but realizing that's not really an option. <sigh>

I am very happy with my baby and how he's doing and my family is doing ok...I'm not pressuring myself to cook every meal or clean the house, but there are things I simply HAVE to deal with that are making this time very difficult for me (like issues with my mom's house that hasn't sold this year [paying taxes, keeping on the realtor from a distance, etc.] plus lots of business demands that hubby can only cover so much of).

Everyone here has been such a wonderful support, I figured I'd just reach out tonight because I'm really struggling. I should try to get some rest before the next feed, but I thought maybe posting something would be a good idea.

I understand about those emotions!! And piling home responsibility. Luckily this time dh had 2 weeks off, but when he goes back next week, I'll be a lot more on my own.

I have always been prone to mood swings after having the baby, and especially sensitive to anything about babies. I know recovery this time is slow for me in some ways. Just try to do the essentials, and let the rest wait. I know it's hard, but we really need rest now, and baby needs a rested mom who can better handle stresses. I know being exhausted makes it much harder to deal with small and large problems (and crying babies).

Do you have a sibling that can help, maybe even long distance on some of your mom's business stuff?

Here's hoping for a good night's sleep for you!

Well, the good news is that I have been able to have a calm and comforting temperment with Ian no matter what so far (inlcuding when he's screaming). I'm just so fascinated with him and so in love that I am able to treat him well despite my struggles. But of course when mommy is stressed, baby senses that. So I'm very careful to try to center myself and be mindful of him when I attend to him.

Jeff was able to take a day or two plus a couple half days in the first week, that was it. So I know that made things extra difficult. And I do have my MIL who can at least watch Ian so I can get work done. My Mom "helps" in some ways...holding and rocking and feeding, little things around the house...but she needs monitoring and assistance in many ways too. So her "helping" kind of cancels out.

As for the sibling, the irony is that I have a sister (Dad's daughter) who lived with my Mom...but she never truly helped her and the blood was bad between them. Plus the administrative duties for mom's estate really fall to me regardless...even if my sister was remotely competent to handle them. (Worse yet was while I was trying to clean the house and get it on the market, my sister not only lived there, but stayed longer than allowed and made the transition more difficult for me! Long story there!) So yeah, it all falls on me. There is nobody else who can do it. And the worst part is that I not only had to close up mom's house but also a business she and my dad had for years...and my dad's name is still on SO many of her documents (he's been gone 10 years - you might remember me saying how Ian was born on the 10th anniversary of his passing).

ANYHOW, I just feel sad that I don't have the strength I did before to handle all this I guess. I mean, it was overhwhelming enough before and now I just have moments where I want to run and hide. And sensitivity is in high swing. I'd like to blame it on hormones and I'm probably not wrong, but it's good to have a second opinion. Thanks.

BTW, Jeff edited this image tonight and I wanted to share...

Oh! Those eyes! Those cheeks! I want to bite him!

Lisa, all normal feelings. Not that it makes it any easier! Sleep deprivation (and even if you think you're getting decent sleep, I think new mommies sleep lighter, waiting for the cry) in addition to post-partum hormone whack-ed-ness all contribute to the bad stuff and frustration. It does get better, usually around the 3 month mark--you'll both be on more of a reliable schedule. Hang in there!

SO true. I listen for my baby all the time, whether I want to or not. Even when my hubby is caring for him I still hear the cries. He and I had a big "discussion" about whether I "trust" him or not with our child and I tried to explain it's SO not like that. Of course I do. But the mommy-connection is just very unique and there is no "turning it off" even if hubby is taking the next "shift". Thankfully I have been sleeping more...but you're so right...I am still very tired and sleep-deprived even though it IS getting better. Being constantly vigilant in addition to not physically being able to sleep that well will do it too you!

Thanks for the support and understanding.

I just fed my little cutie and he's back to sleep...I should do the same...

Absolutely-for example, the other night I started tearing up about a teddy bear. I don't know why, there was nothing wrong with the teddy bear, he was just sitting on a shelf. But he was so cute, and he reminded me of babies.......

I still have to remind myself "this is normal," sometimes. It seems like just knowing and remembering that helps a little. ANd I agree with Dane-sleep deprivation definitely plays a big role, and unfortunately there's not much we can do about that at this point. You're doing great-just like the pregnancy stuff, it's all worth it in the long run.

Click on my gallery for larger shot.

algts -- SOOOOOOO CUTE!



Yes, that's so true. DS is 8 months and I still hear him cry when I'm asleep. I "sleep in" on the weekends and DH brings DS in to me to nurse, then takes him out to play. If DS utters ONE cry, I wake up. It's so not about "trust" and my husband -- it's about that natural instinct you just can't get rid of!

Soooooooo beautiful! Can't wait to see more!

Go Giants!!!

That is so cute!

Has anyone had any weird issues with their hair? I didn't seem to lose any while I was pregnant...not even my normal everyday amount....but about 2 months ago it just started coming out like crazy. I can even tell it's thinned because temples are thinning. I'm glad I started out with super thick hair or else I'd look very bad. I read that it sometimes happens after you give birth due to estrogen levels going down.

I started back on induction on the 1st and I can already tell a difference. The lose has gone down to almost normal now. I think I was anemic. My milk is starting to dry up a bit and I'm letting things gradually transition to only formula feeding. I'm going to really hate it when I finally dry up to the point that it's phased out entirely. It really is a feeling of panic as somebody mentioned earlier in the thread when you realize you won't have the ability to give that to your baby anymore. I've cried over it quite a bit. She's approaching 5 months though and I've been able to do the 50/50 approach to feeding for the last few months so I feel good that I have gotten that far. I'm looking forward to fitting in some of old tops and dresses that my enlarged bosom has kept me from wearing.