Well, I can honestly say, after being a bit bummed out all week because of losing a 70k contract that I was basically spoon fed by the client, I ended up not getting it after all. Why? My weight. I know it had to be my weight because the client told me I was the best qualified candidate. He even told me he wanted me to come in the following week to do analysis of the network. However, he (the president of the company) and the manager seemed to be quite concerned about me getting on the floor as they both asked me several times if I had any problem being on the floor (because I have do cabling and replacement of hardware devices). I told them on the phone and in person that it was not a problem, but I truly believe once they saw me and the fact that I'm a woman in a 99.5% male field...then they changed their minds. Even though they told me with their own mouths how qualified I was and how I knew more than the other candidates. I know this time it wasn't because I was a woman otherwise they wouldn't have even continued the meeting process. I was so bummed when I found out they gave the contract to someone else.

This is the second time that I know of that my weight has contributed to how people respond to me in the workplace. The other time, the first time, it was just blatant , outright prejudice and the manager especially made no attempts to hide it either. He would do and say really rude things that pertained to my weight or he would always look at me when we - the group had to climb stairs or get on the floor. He would smirk at me if I seemed or looked out of breath. He would also smirk as I squeezed my wide hips in the too tight conference chairs when we had production meetings. Other members of my team would put pictures of fat ladies on their cubicles for me to see that included funny quotations under them (well, funny to them anyway...hurtful to me). Of course, as hard as it was monetary wise to leave this contract because it paid darn well, but not well enough to keep enduring the mental abuse they kept pushing toward me. That was the worst contract I have ever done and it was at a place I use to love too. It's hard enough I'm a woman in a male dominated field and on top of that a very stressful field too, but then I am too a woman and overweight which pushes me toward the back of the line when it comes to some contracts. Luckily, for me that's not the rule for all, otherwise I would not have survived 10 years as a professional in this crazy stressed out field. I remember a comment made by one of the Board of Executors to me. He said "oh! so your a systems administrator?" I said "yes". He said with laughter "okay so then you specialize in abuse." I just shook my head and said "yes" as I laughed it off.

I know once I reach my goal weight that I will never, ever forget what it felt like to be so overweight and how rude some people can be. This is only one of many reasons why I know I will reach my goal. In the meantime, I will just continue to hone in on my talents., of course, there will still be some prejudices because I am a woman in a male dominated field, but oh well, such is life. They will just have to get over it.


Delight yourself in the Lord and He will grant you the desires of you heart ~Psalms 37:4

wow i'm sorry you had to go through that!! i totally feel ya though.....i am in sales and have to deal with this as well. i hope it doesn't get you down too much!

That's too bad. I'm sorry they wouldn't give you a chance. I'm glad you can take the experience and use it to tighten your resolve though. Good for you!

You hold your head up high, and be proud of who you are! You are a beautiful, intelligent and vibrant woman who deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. Forget those asses, you can do better! There is better waiting for you, when a door closes, a window opens! ((((Hugs))))

That totally sucks.

I hate that that happened to you, but I love your attitude. A bigger and better contract will come along for you.

I can relate to you very well. I was in IT (Information Technology) for 30 years and during that time I was fat and I was thin. I was able to tell the difference my weight made in the promotions and training I received. It is sad to say that the havier you are the more they discriminate you. It does not matter that you are the same person working for the same people.

Don't let them bring you down. Keep doing what you are doing. It will pay off, eventually. Good luck.

I too have had to face discrimination due to my weight. Sometimes it's obvious sometimes not so much.

So business is just not worth having. You have to keep telling yourself that! Whatever skinny person they choose will probably screw it up big time!

me too....it sad and it hurts....I've been there too!!

When I was at my highest weight, I was trying to find a job and could not.....thats when I decided to start my little dog business 11 yrs ago.

But the good news is that Ms Gail Marie is losing her weight and in a few months, you will be in a very different body.

I'm so sorry that this happened to you!! It does suck big time!!

But please look at how well you are doing now!! You have a very impressive result going on there and I know that you will continue to do well!!

I'm sorry to hear this. It's tough enough just being female in male dominated jobs, let alone the discrimination with being fat. I work in IT and can remember crawling around pulling cables from underneath computer room floors. Seems like people always thought men should do that work. I don't install systems anymore, but I can remember the looks I used to get.

The good news is this has helped you with your determination to get rid of the fat! Use this experience to your advantage. When one door closes, another opens... Good luck!

I HATE it when people look you up and down and judge you just on how you look, when you know perfectly well that you are
Smarter
Better looking
Nicer
Funnier
RICHER
and in some cases, FITTER than the one that's judging you!
makes you want to kick some arsesicles!

Please, please don't let this get you down! Use it as incentive to keep pushing to get the weight off! Success is the best revenge! I grew up in a family of older brothers (I had seven of them) so I had more of a male mind-set and all my careers were in the male-dominated fields. Fortunately for me, I learned how to play the game early on and won them over in every case but one job. You wouldn't believe the 'reasons' that my boss used that I shouldn't be doing a 'man's' job! The main reason he never could deal with me was that I was far and away more qualified for HIS job than he was. He turned really mean and nasty when he was forced to ask me to do parts of HIS job because he didn't know how. I worked there for five years and it never got better, and even though the pay and benefits were great, I finally left because life is too short to hate going to work every day.

You are intelligent, beautiful and have a good personality. That's every reason to keep working towards a healthy weight and a job you love. Even skinny women have to deal with prejudice in certain fields. You have to develop a tough exterior and don't let it get you down. You go girl!

Sunny!

Thanks to all of you, your gonna make me cry. I’m so glad I have a place to come and express my feelings instead of keeping them all bottled up. To have someone that understands sure does help. Thanks so much to all of you. This just makes me so much more determined to reach my weight loss goals. I guess, I’m just so rebellious that way…that is if someone tells me I can’t do it…then it just fuels my fire more.

Winterlily: Where you been girl? I miss ya’. Been busy in that new executive pool huh? Thanks for your encouraging words. Still can’t wait to come have that steak with ya.

Wildflowr6: Yep, your right, a bigger and better contract will come for me and one that is closer to me too. The one I was talking about was a bit far from me so I’m praying that the next one will be much closer and pay the bang bucks $$$.

SadLady: Isn’t IT the craziest thing? You know the reason I got into IT in the first place was because it was a dare to me. I wanted to prove to myself that I was smart enough – that I had the brains and the mindset to do it and look at that I won the challenge. What I didn’t foresee were the prejudices. Not just being overweight, but each and every time I start a new contract being tested by my male peers never ceases just because I’m a woman. Each time they want to test me to see if I “know my stuff.” I always pass and for some reason that just amazes them…I guess they just can’t seem to get pass the “Barbie doll” syndrome. Yes we woman are all beautiful, but guess what? We have brains too.

Judynyc: Hey you! Missin’ you too. I guess I’ve just sort of been stuck in my own world. I gotta start visitin’ again. Thanks for your positive vibes. Believe it or not I have been trying to wean myself away from IT, but it’s very hard. I mean this is my skill set, this is where I excel. Some of my friends even call me "Chip". You know...a computer chip...a cpu...cause they tell me i'm analytically creative. My dream though is to own property in a high yield tourist destination and open up a Bread and Breakfast Inn, but guess what? Right now I need the money from IT to make that dream come alive. Plus I have other entrepreneur endeavors that I have been working on this past year. It ain’t easy. Yeah out of all the craziness that has been going on in my life this past month – I still have been stickin’ with my low-carb lifestyle. In fact, believe it or not being on Atkins is the last of my worries. I have no problem with it. I love cooking even more so now, trying new low-carb dishes and my family loves it too because it seems like I was stuck in a rut before as I was always cookin’ pretty much the same things but now I’m very adventuresome with my cooking so they are always excited to see what’s gonna be next for dinner. Now the exercise part, that’s another story – I see when I’m down that it’s not my diet that I sabotage but my exercise efforts will suffer. Not that I don’t do it at all, just not with as much vigor or I will skip days where as before I would workout 5 days a week. Anyway, I figure better the exercise gets a little bit blown than my low-carb efforts. I’ll get better though, especially as some of this stress is relieved from my life, but then again, I know if I exercise then that will make the stress go away some. Ok I’m rambling now…I’ll stop.

Diemde: Good to see a fellow IT’er. Yeah, I’m a seasoned engineer - been doing this crap for over 10 years and I shouldn’t be on the floor, but here in California it doesn’t matter you have to take on multiple IT roles a lot of the time. I was a Desktop Support person for years before I got to the Systems Administrator/Engineer stage…no problem – I know I’m going to be on the floor, but I got the biggest kick out of peoples responses… when I got on the floor…they just couldn’t believe it. I mean here they are in their office attire and high heels and then me on the floor in jeans and tennis shoes, hair all ruffled, breakin’ a sweat…all I could do was laugh and say to myself “honey…you don’t know I’m getting’ paid big time to be on this floor.” I can also remember on my last contract how the VP of the company just use to come by me and smile and tell the clients that he was showing around with pride...that's our IT woman. Now I use to love that, he was so proud that his company had a female IT lead. I loved it too and not just because of that, but because the president of the company and a lot of the high-end managers were all woman. How cool is that? Way cool!

Anyway, actually, the contract I was going for was for a Lotus Notes Administrator. Now you tell me…why in the heck would an email administrator need to be on the floor? None! But on this contract I was going to be everything and everybody…they wanted me to do it all because I was going to be the only IT person. Otherwise, as a Notes Administrator I could have desktop support take care of any floor stuff, but you know what I really don’t care…’cause I still get a kick out of peoples responses of a woman being on the floor…ya’ think I’d committed a crime or something. Besides, as a sys admin I still have to install and maintain servers so you basically never really get away from it even though most servers are in a rack and it's good exercise. I guess our society is just still so stuck in the mindset of a woman being in a dress and high heel pumps. Don’t they know that we are much diversified too.

SunnyCarol: Man! I guess, I really have been in another world as I remember your name as clear as day when I first starting coming here and I remember what a positive inspiration you have been to me over these pass three months.

I can remember talking to a friend of a friend, she’s a well-seasoned female Doctor, can’t remember what her specialty is, but that’s beside the point. The point was she expressed to me after being a doctor for over 15 years – she still experiences the same crap that I/We woman that are in male-dominated fields’ experience. She stated that she still receives crap and looks and weird responses from her male peers because she is female. I was surprised because I’m like “What? But, you’re a Doctor.” So it looks like it doesn’t matter what male-dominated field…it’s just something that comes with the territory. How sad that is and then when your overweight too and not to mention if you’re a minority…the odds just keep stackin’ up. What a crazy and wonderful world we live in. I’m just so glad I have all you wonderful and beautiful woman to talk and relate to.

Well, thanks everybody for all your positive vibes– you’re all absolutely wonderful and I don’t care how much you weigh or what you do…we are all beautiful…we are women…here us ROAR!


Delight yourself in the Lord and He will grant you the desires of you heart ~Psalms 37:4

I just remembered that before interviewing for this contract that I went to the company's website to do my homework on it and there was a picture of the president, the same guy that interviewed me. Well guess what? He was fat. At least 100 lbs overweight, but when I went to the interview I was surprised because this same guy looked different. Yeah, he lost all that weight so I was a bit surprised when I saw him. I was going to mention how well he looked, but I felt that would have been way improper on an interview so I didn't mention it. He actually looked really great. I felt like I was looking at a before and after picture of him. Anyway, I'm saying all this because you think he would have had some compassion in regard to my weight since he himself was overweight before, but I guess he has forgotten all about that and couldn't see pass my weight and how he use to be the same way himself. Oh well. I'll never forget. I will always have compassion for my fellow sister and brother. I don't really want to remember the pain or negative experiences associated with being overweight, but I know I will and I know I won't discriminate anyone because of that fact. Ok, just had to get that out of my system.

Have a great weekend everybody!


Delight yourself in the Lord and He will grant you the desires of you heart ~Psalms 37:4

SunnyCarol is right....success is the best revenge. Keep up your great work, you'll come out on top...both business, and weight loss.