And what would you say if I told you that you do obsess about your body and your weight? If you don't see this, then consider that you are in denial.

I would say that I started this thread to find a place where I would be able to talk about my disorder, and be able to analyze it and not be worried about being judged, or critisized.I do enough of that to myself.

I willfully and readily admit that I obsess about my body and my weight. I know this, I feel this, I think about it all the time.......I have been really sad because my hubby has not been very supportive of my lately. I finally asked him about this this evening while we were fixing supper. He told me he really didnt think I needed to loose weight. I started joking around and told him I wanted to loose so he would think I was sexy.... He told me thought I was sexy like I am.(I am thinking......yeah, right, your saying that just to keep getting the booty) I told him that I DIDNT FEEL SEXY or even pretty for that matter......He held me close and told me to do whatever I need to do to make myself feel good. He told me never realized how important this is to me. .....this feels really good......

I need to work on inner issues. I too have had bad relationships in the past and I know I am still carrying around alot of "Extra Luggage" from them.

I guess I will start with being honest with my doc and telling him how depressed I have been feeling......I usually put on my smile and tell him I am doing pretty good......I see him this Friday....

It feels pretty good to just be sitting here writting about this and know that I wont be judged by anyone here............(((HUGS 2 U ALL)))

ahhh...I am not judging you at all!! I am trying to help you!! But you chose to see it as judging!!

I read your posts everyday for the past 6 weeks and not a day goes by where you aren't talking about the scale, what you ate off plan, what you look like when you are exercising....it all has a negative tone and very negative self talk....you put yourself down all the time!! and then you talk about your binges....and you actually expect to see weight loss one day after you binge!! Now thats not realistic at all....it takes days after a cheat to see the scale move back down again and thats days of staying on plan!!!

I'm sorry that you feel like I'm judging you....I am not...I am offering you some tough love because nobody else is going to tell you this..They are all telling you..You can do this!!...and you can...but you need to see reality if you can expect to change.

You suffer from PTSD....as I do from years of emotional abuse.... at the hands of your stepmom and I suspect your dad too.....This type of abuse has sometimes led doctors to misdiagnose people with a borderline personality disorder, which I see as grossly unfair. My therapist turned me onto a book about this and it saved my life!! If you want the title, I'll go and find it for you.

I wish you the very best Pete!! for you and your son and your DH.

I obsess about my body and what I eat too. I have for a long time, like ever since I started the WOE. It was a bad thing, the only bad thing. People started blaming my diet for my eating disorder. *When the weight slowed, I stopped eating* I can't blame the diet. It helped me. But I turned myself into a monster. I just have a hard time controlling myself. I am not used to this body I have yet either. I don't know what it wants, what it needs. Food ownz me!! Lol.

Even if you DO obsess, maybe it is better than not caring at all. I used to not care...I was fat and unhappy then. Now I am aware and I give a shit about myself.

Let's not let the food control us.

This is what I WANT..... I want to eat only when my body needs nourishment..... Not when I am having a feeling or anxiety or dispair or just from being bored....

THIS IS WHAT I REALLY WANT!

I think that there is a wide margin between obsessing and not caring at all. Its that they are at opposite ends of the same line. I think its important to get to somewhere in between.

When you consider the amount of mental energy you expend on your food, weight, body, how you look......whats left to live in your life with? You are exhausted from all the negative yadayada that goes on in your head....In other words, how can you be in the moment and enjoy your life when you are consumed with negative thoughts of yourself.

Sherry,
I'm so glad tha you had a good talk with your DH ...I hope that you do feel better now!!

Hey everybody!!!! Trying to catch up on the threads, boy this is starting to take off!!!! Great to see others like us here to talk about their behaviors and advice from those who are recovering over eaters.

I can say I exhaust most of my mental processes when it comes to food. I obsess even if I am working hard towards the Atkins lifestyle with what meat can be jazzed up or how a tasty veggie would be. I do not think of myself as over weight as I am in my before picture. It is when I see the picture the depression sinks in. "Man.... how could I be that freakin huge. I am surprised to fit through the door with that frame." Ergo I am on the Atkins lifestyle and looking to curb the amounts and binges it took to reach such lofty proportions.

So anyway I will join the no bingers challenge for a week!!! I started it off great too. Today I took the kids to the beach for the day along Lake Erie. We had a blast frolicing around, burying each other, swimming getting all tanned up for the work week ect. (And no I did not don a speedo, that will take a lil bit). In the evening we stopped at a Golden Coral buffet place to eat. They serve up enough good lowcarb food to keep me satisfied. I had a plate of sirloin steak about eight ounces worth, a salad with spinach leaves, egg,bacon, ham, and blue cheese. The amount which to fill the rest of the plate with the steak. I ordered water cause the beach sort of dehydrated me and it sounded great. I got another plate with the same amount and I only ate a couple of bites!!!! I was thinking about what we were chatting about here and realized I was full and left it. Didn't continue to pick or nothing. Woohoo!!! That I think was the first time I have ever done that without feeling sick or something. A girl I was with and the kids didn't really get my excitment, but heck I don't care it felt good.

The "get your dollar amount's worth" did play a part, but my children and wife ate very well. Thankfully they don't share the same thing that their dad shares.

So anyway I am off to this challenge and want to extend it out for those on the challenge to also dare: To also trying portioning down their usual amounts till they are full and stopping there. As my son quotes Bob the builder, "Can we do it..... Yes We Can!!!!!"

Way to go Bigdaddys!!! Thats the way to do this!!

Happy for you!!

I feel good....no doubt about it. I am looking forword to weighing myself in two weeks. I tend to obsess about the scales too too much. My saving grace is the ketostix. Purple in the morning makes my day go by better than a weighing in on a scale daily.

bigdaddys? How about you start a journal so that you can keep track of all this good stuff that you are going through now.

I use my journal to log my food each day as it keeps me accountable. I also use it to talk about stuff I need to vent about...and thats a lot of stuff sometimes!!

I know what you mean, there needs to be a middle ground of caring and not. Maybe some can find that, I can't. It isn't as bad as it used to be for me. I can relax a bit. But really, there isn't a time in the day when it doesn't cross my mind. Even in my dreams. It's a pain. Even at this weight, I don't know how my boyfriend touches me. He knows I feel that way.

I just wish there was a day where I can not care about food. You know? Not care about the image, my image. I think it has taken alot of my personality away. I used to be fun loving, laughing. Now I am serious about everything, and a bit stressed. My health, I am sure, is much better than it was 70 pounds ago. I wouldn't change my low carb life for the one I had before. Even though the amount of food I am eating is scary.

I totally hear you Ayu!!

Have you ever thought about learning to meditate? When you do it, you have to force your mental chatter to cease!!! It may be a good exercise for you to help get that negative chatter under control!!

We have to find ways to get that beast inside to shut the F*** up!! ya know?

Pete, thank you once again for starting this thread. I hope you continue to post here and keep it going.

I am up this morning tempted to do a lot of unnecessary eating. I took into account what BigDaddys said above and didn't finish the sandwich I was eating and decided NOT to finish off the bag of chocolate donuts. I wasn't even hungry. But as soon as hubby went to sleep, I felt lonely all over again and suddenly no longer sleepy. So of course I head straight to the kitchen. This time I didn't totally give in to wanting to just eat and eat for no apparent reason (not a valid one).

I agree that by eating on plan will help curb my cravings. But unfortunately it isn't always cravings that get me overeating. It is usually some emotional trigger that does it for me. So getting that under control is going to be my challenge.

And speaking of challenge, I would love to be added to the challenge of binge-free eating for one week. I will check in here daily to keep on track.

Hang in there everyone!

Okay I was tempted to binge...but I didnt. I took control of the situation. I am tired of letting food and my emotions take control of me. I know Judy you were giving me tought love but I was in an emotional state and I dont think thats what I needed but thanks anyways...

I did sorta so so today. I had two bbqed steaks, they weren't that big and a small piece of chicken and hb eggs throughout the day. I don't think it is that bad. I don't really eat meals like some people do. I have to space out my food until Saturday since I don't have much left, so that forces me to eat smaller amounts unless I want to go hungry lol.

Well....why don't we all start Monday to be a bit more mindful of how much we are actually consuming? Monday is always a good day to start.