hi guys, hope you dont mind me butting in. i have been fighting against my depression for years. I just found this group, hope its still active.
i have fought depression my whole life. i had some problems growing up, and i just was unable to cope. it runs in my family, but i think i have been in some sense of denial. when i was 14 my mom took me to the dr, where they put me on prozac. it gave me horrible palpitations, i thought i was gonna die, and i was switched to paxil. paxil gave me chest pain and i was put on zoloft.
not really sure why, but they figured it wasn't working and i was given welbutrin. to make a long story short. i've tried alot of them, to no avail. i dont know if i'm especially sensitive to meds, or what, but just about everything i take, i hate. when i was 23 i started going to therapy, where they diagnosed me as atypical bipolar. they told me all the other meds just weren't right, and they wanted me to take lithium. but i was pregnant, and concerned about the effect on the baby. they told me its a matter of weighing the risks of taking it, as opposed to not taking it. and if i was worried, i could be substituted with something else for the pregnancy.
i was very freaked out by this, decided to take nothing at all, and never returned. i was looking for therapy with talking things out, not meds. i have been off most of everything now, for a few years. i take a xanax when i need to, for panic attacks, but i am being stubborn and haven't been treating my depression. mostly i have been trying to avoid it if all possible, all though i know its not smart. i recently quit drinking, which interesting to me, my dr said it is very common for manic depressives to self medicate with alcohol, due to its "leveling". no highs no lows, just numb. anyway, i know i should be on something, but i am just so worried about feeling crappy again. thanks for listening guys, i apologize for the long post.
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