Xenaxom, it may help a lot. To tell you the truth, I have taken a lot of drugs for symptoms of so-called disorders I do not have, and who knows what those have done to my body. Anyway, I am paranoid, as right now I have a couple sample boxes of Provigil that I have held onto for quite some time, but have not taken more than one pill. I am afraid it will make me feel like I am on crack, like Ritalin or coffee, or a drug whore, and I just want to be clean and healthy like most any rational human. I am not in a place of battle, nor will I be anytime soon, yet my day-to-day routine is basically feeling like a very old man waiting for death, like nothing more than a bunch of flesh that is just flailing around throughout the day without hope of ever feeling better again, and no one understands this horrible feeling. Its basically like my old mono symptoms multiplied by 10,000, an extreme of fatigue with no conceivable hope of relenting, and I feel like I am holding on for a miracle that does not exist. It sounds ridiculous, and my exhausted logic is for $hit, but I am running more thin then the most fu(ked up raped alcholic with no support. My question for you is, do you have some kind of "real" energy, or do you honestly feel like you are on a "crack" high. I read what you wrote, and in my present state your dreamlike words were like well-placed knives. Coming from someone with both FMS and CFS, I have personal doubts about not taking those samples of Provigil. It wasn't always like this (as I am sure you can relate), and thats why I feel like I lost a big f!~$ing battle against something beyond my most creative comprehension. If I could swim and draw to the day I die, I won in life. I am insanely desparate, and I will take those damn pills. However, I would really appreciate a reply to that question, if you don't mind. Thanks.
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