Wed, Nov-06-13, 17:14
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Senior Member
Posts: 3,819
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Plan: Atkins
Stats: 217/145/143
BF:
Progress: 97%
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Josiebear, yours is such a sad post. It's natural that you must still be going through a grieving process, and you just need to be gentle with yourself and not put extra demands on yourself. Don't worry about the eating, but try to drink a few calories. Try drinking yoghurt diluted in water - it's an Indian drink which is very palatable when you're feeling sick, and will help keep your body functioning better. Personally, I cannot eat when I am miserable either, but sadly for my waistline, I'm normally a very upbeat person, so I am still a tubster.
Sometimes there can be a bit of an expectation that people "move on" from sadness, usually from people who haven't experienced a major loss themselves, and don't really understand or have the capacity to deal with it. You're lucky to have a supportive flatmate, and hopefully those tears will have helped the healing process on it a bit. I think guilt is probably one of the emotions which everyone goes through when they lose someone they love. I'm sorry that you're worrying that your boyfriend's family might disapprove of you being with someone new, but actually even if they do, that's more about trying to cling to the past than embracing the changes which must now take place. It's healthy and right for you to mourn your loss and also to allow yourself to form attachments to other people. Just be gentle with your heart, because it could be easily broken at this time - don't invest too much emotion in your new boyfriend. It's easy to transfer your feelings onto a new person, and sometimes people end up in the wrong relationships as a result of this. Give yourself time to get over your last relationship first before making any long-term decisions. That said, your boyfriend sounds really, really lovely and understanding, so I wish you both well and hope it works out.
Something I found very helpful when I went through a period of extreme grief was taking some time alone every day and quietly thinking about how I felt then writing it down. For me, that helped me to stay in touch with my inner emotions and was an outlet for everything which generally had to be supressed and bottled up in order to get through the day.
I hope that the memorial service proves to be another healiing experience for you. Things will eventually feel easier - I am sure of that.
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