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  #181   ^
Old Sat, May-07-05, 06:32
Bakerchic's Avatar
Bakerchic Bakerchic is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 145
Plan: Moderate low-carb
Stats: 186/140/135 Female 5"5
Progress: 90%
Location: PA baby!
Default Like "normal" people????

This doesn't surprise me at all. They put additives in our processed food which makes them addicting. MSG is one. Some of them have the same effects as opiates. It seems like cold turkey is the only way to go at times. But if it's any consolation, there are plenty in the same boat and allot going that way if they don't think about it now! I get so envious when I see my twig friends, down twinkies, pop, what have you and still look like twigs. Here's some comfort, NORMAL people do not eat that way. That's why "normal" people will have related health complications regardless of their size. Weight is only one factor. The truth is, we have to learn to eat like real people and not Americans. Our parents and grandparents did not start out this way. Don't worry, you'll get a handle, you've come farther than most right. Just think of the twigs who will just be starting this battle later on in their lives. Skinny doesn't equal healthy, and that's what we have to learn to pay attention to. You've come so far, and you will get back on track! I have faith. I too am slipping, so let's do ourselves a favor, not batter ourselves and be proud that we are learning how to eat. In this sense, we can thank our excess pounds for telling us something was wrong.
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  #182   ^
Old Fri, Jun-03-05, 13:54
detroitlad detroitlad is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 25
Plan: protenpower,atkins
Stats: 295/273/195 Female 5ft9in

I am so glad to find this thread, its amazeing and so though provoing!!!!!
I been dealing with self -sabotage for sometime now!!! it's like the storm clouds have findly lifted and I can see the sky again!
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  #183   ^
Old Tue, Jun-14-05, 13:17
DollGirl's Avatar
DollGirl DollGirl is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 120
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 215/204/170 Female 58
Progress: 24%
Location: southern US

This thread is wonderful. Posting now to subscribe and I hope to add some thoughts as I have time...
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  #184   ^
Old Thu, Jun-16-05, 23:06
dashykathy's Avatar
dashykathy dashykathy is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 57
Plan: ---
Stats: ---/---/--- Female ---

This thread is awesome and it came just in the nick of time. I was anorexic for many, many years and after my last child (single mom at 38 yrs. old) I kind of got a little healthy. Then I got married and went through some tough times emotionally. Last year our daughter (then 14) was diagnosed with a mental illness and I really put on pounds. I would try to eat less, eat healthier, do more but somehow couldn't make it more than 3 - 4 days. I've been so scared to loose and end up anorexic again that I would sabotage myself. I turned to food to comfort me and make me feel better - it fills me emotionally but the physical toll was horrible - my back and knees were keeping me in constant pain. In May I started low carbing and lost some weight. But, like so many others I did well during the week but weekends were tough. I'm also a care-taker and felt guilty about not cooking/eating what my family were. Now I realize that I have a responsibility to me first and that there is 'healthy selfishness.' I've lost 19 lbs. since May and have 11 more to go to hit my goal weight. This will hopefully delay knee replacement surgery for me and I know that emotionally I feel better than I have in many years. Now I have to really do some soul searching and find out why I sabotage myself in other areas of my life - and why I'm scared to make friends and always have to be 'busy' to the point of 'all work and no relaxation.' Thank you, thank you, thank you for this thread - and this group. I don't post much but I sure do read a lot and that provides so much support for me. As I increase my self-knowledge I will share it, but also need to set up a journal for myself. I think that's going to help an awful lot too.

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  #185   ^
Old Thu, Nov-03-05, 12:57
Fauve Fauve is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,247
Plan: Carnivore
Stats: 000/000/000 Female 63
Progress: 94%
Location: Victoria, BC

wow, very interesting thread!
I will come back soon.
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  #186   ^
Old Sat, Nov-26-05, 04:07
Dragon61 Dragon61 is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 62
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 207/180/132 Female 163 cms
Progress: 36%
Location: Perth, Australia

Fabulous thread.

Why do I self-sabotage? It's not because I'm addicted to carbs, its because I am absolutely petrified of relationships.

I spent most of my childhood, teens and early 20's being underweight. When I started going out with guys, I would be okay for 2 or 3 months and then suddenly the fear of commitment would hit me. The next thing I would do was to start behaving in a way that I knew would turn the guy off that I was going out with. With one guy I became super clingy, with the next I became super independent. However I acted, the goal was to chase him off.

Then there was the guy that was really into skinny girls - so I put on weight.

After a few more relationships, I discovered that putting on the weight chased the guys off before they became a problem. Most guys didn't even look at me. But unfortunately not all. Eventually I realised that as soon as any guy paid any attention to me, my immediate reaction was to gain weight.

Since then I have successfully lost weight several times but as soon as I start getting any attention from the guys I start putting it back on. I want to get healthy for me but attention still scares me to death.

I know to succeed this time I not only need to lose my excess weight, I need to learn how to cope with my emotional problems.
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  #187   ^
Old Sat, Nov-26-05, 08:53
lisabond's Avatar
lisabond lisabond is offline
See, I smile :)
Posts: 464
Plan: A Version of My Own ;)
Stats: 208/141.5/135 Female 5 ft 7 in
Progress: 91%
Location: Midwest

Hi...self-sabotager here...

Why I do it? I'll have this little voice in my head that tells me, "You aint all that. Too full of yourself, arent you?" So, I knock myself off the pedestal I think I'm on. I guess I can't allow myself to be happy with my accomplishments. To me, that is prideful. It also recognizes the fact that I had a weight problem in the first place. I have lost 100 pounds more than once in my life. I've weighed as much as 260 ten years ago, got down to 150, and gained 70 pounds back. Now I'm close to goal and the ONLY thing that keeps me from falling aff again is by not eating the carbs. Sugar and carbs are the gateway back to hell for me.

Also, there will be days that I feel, for lack of a better word, "fat". Doesn't matter what the scale reads, I still feel like that 260 pound person 10 years ago. So, might as well eat so my body can match what my head feels. Synchonize everything in a sick, twisted way.

How do I stop? Knowing that, like I said, sugar and carbs are the gateway I do not want to walk through.

I hesitate to post this because it is such a downer post, but I apologetically do so, anyway.
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  #188   ^
Old Thu, Feb-23-06, 15:15
eacoy's Avatar
eacoy eacoy is offline
Gretchen and me
Posts: 7,075
Plan: modifiedSB
Stats: 226/225.5/210 Female 5'6"
Progress: 3%
Location: Georgia

I've just found this thread, but it is about something that I've put up front and center in my efforts.

I have noticed and my family reports that I am angrier than I used to be. I don't like being angry but suspect I always was and just hid it (and fed the anger).

I have also noticed that food isn't working as a panacea to some of my darker moods now. This is truly a mixed blessing but I believe it is small progress.

Of course I am working to use exercise, insight, limit setting and communication to solve problems so I won't be (1) so mad or (2) so down. In all cases, I am becoming conscious of a previously unconscious response.

Left with the tricky part of developing healthier ways to deal with life's "little ups and downs" (read this major traumas).

Good thread, I'm still reading from the beginning to learn from others.
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  #189   ^
Old Fri, Feb-24-06, 10:41
MissBehave's Avatar
MissBehave MissBehave is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 166
Plan: undecided
Stats: 245/239.5/150 Female 5'3" or 5'4" not sure
Progress: 6%
Location: NYC

I haven't read this whole thread yet but you know what... the first few posts hit home. Especially the thing about anger. I think this is a major problem for me. Hard to admit, but I sometimes feel like a raging lunatic because I almost always go overboard and then rationalize it making perfect sense.

I lost 25 lbs doing LC 1.5 years ago through reading this site. But as someone else said, when other things came up, I had to do that grappling act to the point where I figureatively and literally "dropped" the LC ball, because I obsessed with it without doing any work.

I guess it all works into depression and stress, and at this point I've regained it all back and then some. I'm always tired, my feet and leg joints are hurting all the time, my cholesterol and triglycerides & bp are high, and I feel like I'm not going to make it to 45. As my doctor said I'm too young for this! but I feel OLD and broken. (I just turned 39)

The only thing I'm doing now is having oatmeal every day with my bp med. because I'm in too much pain to do excercise and even that gets me p.o.'d My 10 year old knows even that this is a problem.

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  #190   ^
Old Fri, Feb-24-06, 11:27
sLynng's Avatar
sLynng sLynng is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 965
Plan: SB,FFP
Stats: 239.4/239.4/150 Female 5ft 3in
Progress: 0%

i posting to subscribe and plan to read this whole thread.........because i am my own worst enemy
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  #191   ^
Old Thu, Nov-30-06, 20:28
PALC PALC is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 27
Plan: atkins
Stats: -/-/- Female 5'9"

Weird thing is when I did this, I knew I was self-sabotaging but I continued anyways...

I was doing a very clean atkins and was 9 pounds away from my goal weight when I sabotaged myself.

My binge, that led me to gain back almost all my weight, started out innocent - I figured I could treat myself to some birthday cake and spaghetti for being so good, plus it was a birthday party. Well, this would have been okay, but I didnt stop. The next day the sabotage began and I "treated" myself to all the things I couldnt eat on atkins - Starbucks Frappiccinos, Starbucks Gingerbread Loaf (seasonal) , etc...
I justified it by telling myself that Starbucks only brought this stuff as a seasonal thing and if I didnt eat it now, I wouldnt for a very long time. So I kept eating it. I had this stuff everyday for the past 18 days and I gained almost all my weight back.

Lesson learned: Food will always be there and there is no reason for me to horde it like a chimpmonk for the next season. Really though, I realized that I love Starbucks, but I love being thin even more. I realized that I dont do well on the slipperly slope of carbs. I realized I hate being controlled by my cravings - seriously, it was this crazy craving for Starbucks I couldnt control. I realized that I should reach my goal first, then treat myself occassionally and just because I ruin my diet with a treat doesnt mean I have to ruin the whole day or the whole week!!

All simple lessons really but I guess the sabotage came out of fear - fear of not eating this stuff later ever again. How did I get over this fear? Here is my plan: reach goal weight and THEN have ANY treat I want once a week.

Today is my second day back. How did I finally stop the Starbucks monster? Well, my clothes dont fit again so I kinda didnt have a choice. Plus, I felt physically and emotionally sick from not having a clean diet. Let me tell you this : the first day back is by far the hardest!! Hope this helps other people.
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  #192   ^
Old Sun, Dec-03-06, 17:33
joylorene's Avatar
joylorene joylorene is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,715
Plan: atkins/hcg
Stats: 228/162/135 Female 65
Progress: 71%
Location: North Dakota

PALC so how are you doing these days? Are you still staying clean? I'm trying but I blow it every weekend.
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  #193   ^
Old Mon, Dec-25-06, 20:05
quicksand quicksand is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 64
Plan: south beach
Stats: 185/185/125 Female 4'10in.
Progress: 0%
Location: Way Down South

This is very scary,you all described me .I was reading the posts and thought ,wow,these people know me personaly. Will post later got to regain my thoughts.
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  #194   ^
Old Tue, Apr-03-07, 11:27
KatieAZ's Avatar
KatieAZ KatieAZ is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 749
Plan: South Beach
Stats: 175/167.7/139 Female 5'6''
Progress: 20%
Location: AZ

WOW! this is a great thread. I will post later!
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  #195   ^
Old Tue, Apr-03-07, 15:45
rissa's Avatar
rissa rissa is offline
Chaos in the flesh!
Posts: 1,725
Plan: custom
Stats: 386/218.2/167 Female 69
Progress: 77%
Location: Colorado

I've lost the same 50 lbs a few times now. I was so excited when I got into new territory the last time, I treated my success with FOOD. Yes, I didn't fix what was wrong in the first place. I needed to start looking at food as fuel. Its what my body needs to run - just like my car needs gas. I don't overfill my car, or give it diesel fuel - its not right to do that to myself. I'm working on me now. The weight is going to come off and stay off - because I'm taking care of my other life aspects. I also wasn't healthy. I have since found out what is medically wrong with me and that is being repaired. That contributed a lot to my sabotage.
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