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  #136   ^
Old Tue, Aug-12-03, 18:49
jude's Avatar
jude jude is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 944
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 182/149/145 Female 65"
BF:
Progress: 89%
Location: Innisfil, Ontario
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I'm glad this thread was reactivated. Thanks for sharing your history, Pam. Although, we're all individuals and different in so many ways, in a small way, I can relate.

I still remember how desperate I felt last spring. I was adament that I would never again go thru the low fat, low cal frustration of trying (and always failing) to lose weight. I'd looked into Jenny Craig (the food cost was going to compete with my rent) and I considered hypnotism (that cost worked out to about $50.00 per pound). I really felt there was no way out.

Then my niece just happened to mention that she'd lost 40 lbs lowcarbing. Must admit, I was not a believer in the beginning. My attitude was more like "I know this isn't going to work, but what the hell, at least I'll enjoy the food."

I'm here to tell you, Pam....this diet is as different as night and day to anything you've tried in the past. You'll never be hungry--in fact if you're like most of us here, your biggest problem will be that your calories are too low.

Have you registed at Fitday? http://www.fitday.com And have you noticed "Hot Links" in the newbies section here?

All the best to you , Pam, in your lowcarb journey!

judy

Last edited by jude : Tue, Aug-12-03 at 18:52.
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  #137   ^
Old Wed, Aug-13-03, 07:17
reowdy's Avatar
reowdy reowdy is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 213
 
Plan: Atkins - modified
Stats: 280/253/160 Female 5'4"
BF:50+/44.4/25
Progress: 23%
Location: Sydney Australia
Default

Thanks lawoman and jude..... for the warm words, and encouragement, and now.... having basked in them for a little while... I wonder if I may just be about to start justifying again....lmao.... I don't think so.. but....

Tomorrow I am going on 2 weeks vacation to Bali... never did intend to start this before I got home,... but somehow couldn't resist, and I am starting from 5 lbs better than I would have..

Part of all vacations to exotic parts is to me..... the different foods... and I did intend to enjoy all aspects of this holiday..... and start serious lo carbing when I got back...

Last night I had a sliver of my grandsons birthday cake... and then this am had some whole grain bread for breakfast... my justification.... well I am going on hols tomorrow....

But.... I now have a mild stomach ache and bloating, that I had already forgotten about in 2 weeks..... I hope that has taught me something??

Yes lawoman, the mental part is the hardest, but this time at least I have learnt to ask for help, and not be so darned independant... lol.. I really think that being here is the best thing I could have done, and I also have asked a medico friend to help me monitor that aspect...

And oh yessss Jude... the food is fantastic... enjoying every mouthful of all this forbidden stuff , though it is hard to completely let go of the guilt..... sheesh.... never realised how ingrained it was...

Am currently re-reading Sugar Busters, figure maybe that will be easier to stick to while I am away..... though usually all the extra walking and swimming usually mean I don't gain.... and then I intend to come back to atkins induction.. wish me luck.... please....

Congratulations to you both on your achievements..... I never fail to be amazed at some of the successes here.....

Hugz
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  #138   ^
Old Wed, Aug-13-03, 11:11
lawoman's Avatar
lawoman lawoman is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,675
 
Plan: Slim in 6
Stats: 232/????/162 Female 5'7"
BF:too much :-)
Progress: 74%
Location: Louisiana
Default

That was very brave of you ,Pam,to start this WOE right before going to Bali.I hope it is a great vac. for you in all ways.I'm not trying to get you to justify,but I hope you can enjoy the flavor of Bali and I say this because if you can remember just this one thing...MODERATION! I truly believe that is key to your success.The extra exercise will cetainly help and making a commitment to do induction upon getting home will help,too.It sounds to me like you are on the right track!Good for you!

I worry more about the sabotage when I get to my goal weight.I find myself eating whatever because I know I'm thinner or maybe there are underlying reasons that I'm not sure I really want to delve into. Whatever the reasoning,I gained back 27 when I lost 68 on Atkins and it scared me to death.I knew I was on the way to gaining all of it back(as I had before).My point is that the mindset worked because I got back ontrack and lost it all.But then came more bad choices the week I hit goal ,gained 8 lbs.,but I did not let it get to be 20 some lbs.I got right back ontrack and started back on plan.So,my point is(sorry it took so long to get there ) if we stay cognizant of where we are and how we feel better we get better with it in time.Awareness and moderation are keys to being healthier first and then thinner.

Refreshing your memory about any LC plan will help you to stay aware,Pam,so in all cases,relax,enjoy yourself and who knows,you may cheat minimally because you are aware and on top of things now.Just enjoy!

Linda
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  #139   ^
Old Wed, Aug-13-03, 12:31
Suni Suni is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 118
 
Plan: Schwarzbein
Stats: 169/154/150
BF:
Progress: 79%
Location: Vancouver
Default

Hi Linda (aka: iamwoman)

Love the black cat. We owned one, then we adopted two kittens out of a stray's litter, then we rescued another kitten - anyway DH developed severe allergies to cats and we had to adopt all of them out. Luckily we found good homes for them but I miss having a cat around. My daughter took my tabby so I get to see him when I visit and there is a cat downstairs that comes up to visit so I get to stroke and talk to her too.

I am not unlike you where I found myself a few pounds from goal then the bad eating habits kicked in again and I regained a bit of what I lost. I am still 7 pounds up which I could kick myself for. But I do get back to low-carbing easily and feel more in control eating this way. It seems my brain is more aware this time and I actually think about the ice cream I want to consume before just gobbling it down. I choose to have a portion but it is much smaller and I feel better knowing I am aware and exhibiting portion control even if I am cheating a bit. Hope that makes sense.

I was very down for a few days so I didn't write anything. Also there is a femily wedding coming up so it has been stressful preparing for that. My youngest daughter is being married and my oldest daughter is her matron of honour. We took her dress into a reputable dressmaker to have it altered and they shortened it twice as much as needed and "butchered" the top so this has been added stress. Usually I would be wolfind down chocolate bars by the half dozen and/or chocolate chip cookies, but not this time - quite remarkable for me to be in this much control of my "sweet" tooth.

Chat later. Love the cat - what is it's name?

Jan
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  #140   ^
Old Thu, Aug-14-03, 12:30
lawoman's Avatar
lawoman lawoman is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,675
 
Plan: Slim in 6
Stats: 232/????/162 Female 5'7"
BF:too much :-)
Progress: 74%
Location: Louisiana
Default

I see a lot of posts out there filled with self-sabotage but not much interest in this site except for a handful of us.I am hoping others will see our posts and offer their input.I believe that it is for different reasons for many people.Maybe someone could offer that one bit of help that would stick(?)

I know you are busy,Suni,but I thought I'd let you know the cat's name is CoCo and we just love her.What a joy! We also have a pug and a yorkie.My DH has the kitty out in La. where we are moving and I miss her but did get to see her when I was out there for 2 wks.Being the finicky type she had to act like she did not know me when I first got there! Too bad that your DH developed allergies.I'm sure you were a great kitty mom!

Sorry to hear about the wedding woes but I'm hoping for you that something really good comes out of all the stress...a beautiful wedding to remember.

Hi Judy and Reowdy Hope everything is going well for you both.Drop a line here to let us know!See you soon...

Linda
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  #141   ^
Old Fri, Aug-15-03, 08:51
Suni Suni is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 118
 
Plan: Schwarzbein
Stats: 169/154/150
BF:
Progress: 79%
Location: Vancouver
Default

Good Morning lawoman

I have been thinking a lot about your question "about self sabotage" and "how do we stop" and sharing information and ideas. As mentioned above, I am trying to get organized for my youngest daughter's wedding, which is in Ontario. I have everything booked (flight, car, dress bought and altered,shoes, etc.) but what I do not have organized is "me". And I have been doing some thinking about this and it boils down to the fact that I don't set enough boundaries for myself and my time - I don't say "no" enough to my family who I love and I know they need my love and support. So what I do is spend my precioius time helping them and meeting their needs. This is sort of a dilema for me. I work full-time, leave the house by 6:30 each morning and I get home around 5 "ish". DH and I usually sit and have a cup of tea or something cold if it is hot out, then there is dinner to get ready, clean-up (he helps) etc. and by the time I get to sit down it is almost 8 pm - I haven't read the paper yet nor done any preparation for the following day (like make myself a lunch or get my clothes out and ready). DH is doing work for daughter so I will sometimes take the bus over after work to meet up with him and we end up staying for an hour and I play with my almost 2-year old grandson. He is priority and he's not going to be 2 forever and we so enjoy him - but this time with him cuts into "things" that need doing at home.
So where are the boundaries? I find it difficult to keep "things" organized at home, then I get frustrated and sometimes I feel so "out of control" this is when I eat the wrong foods - probably to comfort myself.
I try and follow The Schwarzbein Principle way of eating for the most part but if I don't take time to prepare, I don't have the proper foods in the house and if I get tired and frustrated and time becomes an issue, and I don't say "no" to obligations and/or my family, then I find I slip back to a few of my bad habits and the weight creeps on. The one difference now is that I am aware and then I bereate myself for allowing this to happen.

So for me, one of my problems is not being able to set boundaries for myself with my time commitments and not being able to say "no" to my family.
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  #142   ^
Old Fri, Aug-15-03, 13:54
lawoman's Avatar
lawoman lawoman is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,675
 
Plan: Slim in 6
Stats: 232/????/162 Female 5'7"
BF:too much :-)
Progress: 74%
Location: Louisiana
Default

Hi Suni...

It sounds like your plate is really,really full to overflowing! I'm sorry to hear that you take on so much in trying to keep everyone happy.With your schedule it must be difficult to fit time in for you.Do you take time to exercise ...for you? If not,you need to perhaps,after this wedding is over, just set the family down and tell them your concerns,ask for their indulgence and understanding. I know you do it out of love but you need to love yourself first.The rest will come much easier if you are feeling good about saying yes,instead of always saying yes and then feeling some resentment because that was all the time you had free.Hopefully a happier you will make better choices instead of self-sabotaging.

I hope any of that makes sense and I do hope you find the answers and are happy you made the decision to take more time for you. Have a great weekend and maybe the answers will come to you soon!


Always,
Linda
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  #143   ^
Old Mon, Aug-18-03, 16:03
Suni Suni is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 118
 
Plan: Schwarzbein
Stats: 169/154/150
BF:
Progress: 79%
Location: Vancouver
Default

HI lawoman

Yes I do take time to exercise - I work out a minimum of 3 times per week during my lunch hour - sometimes 4 times during the week - DH and I swim on Tuesday evenings too. I love to exercise and find it a great stress reliever plus it keeps the old body moving and limber.

DH commented on how "busy" we had been and how we need more "down and alone" time. I told him I agreed. So we are going to schedule more "slow/down" time - I don't know why but if I am not "doing" something I feel terribly guilty. Does anyone else have this problem? And I get really agitated with myself if I get tired and I think "I should be able to do this and this and this" and I get tired and cannot do it. Instead of taking it like a "sign" that the body is saying "hey, slow down we need a rest" I over-ride the message with "but we shold be able to do it" and I get angry with myself and feel weak and lazy. I don't know if this makes sense but possibly this is a "getting older" thing too - I just cannot do as much as I used to 20 years ago and get tired much more quickly. Maybe I just need to admit it and accept the fact that I don't have the energy I did when I was in my 20's. Do you understand? Can you relate?
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  #144   ^
Old Mon, Aug-18-03, 18:53
lawoman's Avatar
lawoman lawoman is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,675
 
Plan: Slim in 6
Stats: 232/????/162 Female 5'7"
BF:too much :-)
Progress: 74%
Location: Louisiana
Default

Hi Suni,

Yes,I certainly can relate.I'm 48 and even though I am in better shape than I was most of those yrs. I still feel the fatigue more and quicker now.But I'm not doing this age thing too lightly,I'm like you,I'm keeping busty and going down fighting.

I do think as we get older,and as couples,we need to be aware that things do change but not to let them change so much that we lose who we really were way back when.You remeber those long walks on the beach with DH,etc.etc.,but you try to do everything for the kids and then grandkids and all of a sudden we are just existing with our spouse because we don't have the energy for him/her. DH and I had that problem and found each other again.Best advice,downsize all else and take the time!
It is wonderful to discover one another again after 22 yrs..Well,right now it is difficult as we have lived apart most of the time since April and it has gotten old real fast.In another post I'll tell you what it felt like to not have the spouse around for a while but I do know I will appreciate him even more when we are together again. Keep to your word with DH...he must be feeling left out,too.

Glad you take the time for you at least when you can,
Linda
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  #145   ^
Old Tue, Aug-19-03, 08:58
Suni Suni is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 118
 
Plan: Schwarzbein
Stats: 169/154/150
BF:
Progress: 79%
Location: Vancouver
Default

HI and Good Morning

You and I find ourselves in similar circumstances. You see DH lives away from me, because of a work contract, for almost 6 months out of the year. Because we met a bit later in life (and his ex got all the $ in the divorce) we don't have a lot of $/savings for retirement so when he was offered a 3-year, 6-month contract we knew that this was a rare opportunity to make some badly needed $ for our retirement.
When he first left I wandered around our place like a lonely cat but eventually I got myself into a routine and took night school courses and took yoga in the evenings etc. and on the weekends I planned shopping trips and lunches etc. so I wasn't moping around the house. DH is very self-sufficient so he was able to make the transition from us being together to us living alone for a period of time. Once a month I would fly over for an extended weekend and spend some time together. But what I found was that we each got into our little routines (i.e. I do not cook the same way for me as I do when he's home; I go out of the house in the evenings to night school and/or exercise whereas he hates going out in the evening) and I found it a big adjustment having him home again after being gone for 6-months. We are hoping at the end of his 3rd year, we can retire - altho we have not decided if we can afford to remain on the west coast or if we should head back east. My being alone and having time for just "me" made me almost selfish with my time. I find while I miss him, living separately brought out our differences and we had to learn to live as one again - this was quite a revelation to me as I've always been half of a couple.

I too am determined to go down fighting. I always thought I'd accept "growing older" with grace and acceptance but I HATE it - my brain still feels young and lively but it's the old body that cannot keep up, which I find frustrating.

However, I did receive a nice compliment on Saturday. I did a "stand in front of the mirror naked" before I got dressed and of course, I found "things" I wasn't happy about - don't we all - are we not our own worst critics! So off DH and I head to do some errands. While I was shopping a total stranger (lady) came up and said to me, totally out of the blue "you look fantastic, it is obvious you take very good care of yourself and you have pride in the way you look". I am sure I did the "Duh" and my mouth hung open. However I did manage to say "thank you, you just made my day, possibly even my year" - she laughed and said "I wouldn't have complimented you if it hadn't been true" then she walked away. My DH and daughters often comment that I am too hard on myself and not accepting enough (of me) and it just goes to show that both that stranger-lady and I looked at the same image and we both saw entirely different images. It goes to show how squed our image can be of ourselves and how criticial we can be without even knowing we're doing it. I am going to try and eliminate any negative self-talk because it is a bad habit I really need to break when relating to me!

This is way to long a reply - but can you relate?
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  #146   ^
Old Wed, Aug-20-03, 11:46
lawoman's Avatar
lawoman lawoman is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,675
 
Plan: Slim in 6
Stats: 232/????/162 Female 5'7"
BF:too much :-)
Progress: 74%
Location: Louisiana
Default Hi Suni

You bet I can relate.I'm really used to doing things my way,too,and having my alone time,so when he comes home next week it will be adjust again.The good news is that I can still adjust!

So here you are with a child getting married and I just found out today that my daughter's 10 yr. marriage may be ending. Not that he was ever so great and I'd have rather that she never married him but she did.This time though,my daughter is at fault for handling things all wrong.From her teen yrs. it took a while to build up this great friendship we have come to have and now it is going to go by the wayside.She knows she is wrong so she is not answering my calls and here I am in Ga. and she is 1,000 mi. away in Pa. I hate it most for my grandkids( 7 and 10) They have already seen and heard too much in their young lives.My heart is aching (and breaking) I wish I knew what the late Ann Landers would have told me to do.I don't want to alienate my daughter but I sure cannot condone how she is doing things.

I only came here,today, to keep from going crazy.I did not tell my DH yet(my daughter is by my first marriage) as he will be so hurt.I was hoping it would work out first but I know now it won't.DH has always treated her better than some do their own(including her own Dad) Oh my,what to do and what to say that will not make things worse.I'm glad I lost my appetite through all this as being close to goal it would not be difficult to self-sabotage right now!

Take care,Suni,and thanks for your tolerance with this post.I do enjoy reading yours as there is so much of me in them.Sometimes it makes me see things I had not seen before and relate to them.It also makes me think of how to deal with some of my self-sabotage issues.

Have a good day ...
Linda
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  #147   ^
Old Mon, Sep-15-03, 12:29
Suni Suni is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 118
 
Plan: Schwarzbein
Stats: 169/154/150
BF:
Progress: 79%
Location: Vancouver
Default

Hi and Good Morning Linda

I am sorry I have not been able to get back to this post for a while. Please let me know how "things" are with you and how you've been handling the stress of your daughter's impending separation and your worry/concern for your grandkids.

I live in Vancouver, BC and my daughter lives and was married in Ontario - a 4 1/2 flight. I went out for 5-days and met up with my other daughter and my grandson and we all enjoyed a GREAT time together. To be honest, I didn't ever think I would like the people my kids married because I disliked most of the people they dated. But, after I left my abusive marriage and (eventually) formed a healthy, loving relationship with my (now) husband, the kids dropped the (&%#~*(^ they had dated and all married really wonderful people. At the wedding I was even subjected to my ex and his new wife and I was not even intimidated - a BIG revelation, BIG step for / to me. Like you mentioned above, my new husband has been a better role model and "father" to my children than their bioligical father ever was!

I was home for two days then DH and I went away for a week - took it easy and relaxed.

I am now back to work - don't know for how long I have a job as we were told there is going to be downsizing in the 4th quarter (between Sept. & Dec.) - so I will hang in as long as I can.

Please let me know how things are with you. Again, I apologize for not getting back to you sooner.

Jan (alias Suni)
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  #148   ^
Old Wed, Sep-17-03, 12:51
lawoman's Avatar
lawoman lawoman is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,675
 
Plan: Slim in 6
Stats: 232/????/162 Female 5'7"
BF:too much :-)
Progress: 74%
Location: Louisiana
Default

Hi Jan,

It was really good to hear from you,again,but we have enough stress in our lives than to worry if we do not get here regular! I'm just glad that you had some time away and everything went well for you.

My daughter and her husband have worked things out,at least for now.I do hope they can get past all that happened for the kids sake.His insisting on being an owner/operator of his own truck has caused them so much financial hardship and has whittled away at their marriage for a big portion of the 11 yrs.They had to go bankrupt because of it and even after that he would not find a different job nor drive for a co.His family is all involved and control him so things have been tough for my daughter because they all feel she is always wrong when in fact she is the only one who is right.Just a bad situation but I hope for the kids it works out ok.I just hate to see my grandkids raised in poverty so I do what I can to assure they are dressed nice,etc.

My home has still not sold but the Co. has said that we can lower it to whatever point it will sell and they'll make up most of the difference.That is so generous...now to get an offer even if it is ridiculously low! I cannot tell our realtor about the Co. offer so she keeps trying for a higher price.I need to get with her in the next few days and re-group.

As for weight...I messed up while DH was home for 10 days.Lots of entertaining and bad choices.I did lose some of it so I now have 4 more lbs. to goal...AGAIN! I just started reading Dr. Phil's new book to find out why I make bad choices and to try to correct.I liked the new challenge show so I may learn something. Are you going to watch or read the book? I swear I read everything that comes along!

I better run now...going out to dinner but determined to make good choices.Drop by when you can....

Hugs,
Linda
PS. I do hope that your job stays stable.Downsizing is such an ugly business!
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  #149   ^
Old Mon, Oct-06-03, 15:44
Suni Suni is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 118
 
Plan: Schwarzbein
Stats: 169/154/150
BF:
Progress: 79%
Location: Vancouver
Default

Hi Linda

This is my first day back to work after being off for 2 1/2 weeks and I just found your e-mail reply after going through 146 in my "in" box. I did something really stupid - I was participating in a United Way event here at work, fell and suffered a hair-line fracture in my elbow. DUMB! I am OK to return to work but I need to set up some physiotherapy for my elbow, so I regain the full range of montion in it again.

Of course, while I was off work, I did some emotional / nurturing eating - I unfortunately discovered a place near us that has these delicious cinnamon buns. I guess when I drop in after work sometimes they are sold out but when I went in during the day - the smelle - MMMMMMM - so I bought one for myself and my daughter. She does not really crave sweets like I do, but I think I must have eaten about 6 cinnamon buns in two weeks, along with a few other "not so smart" choices. I didn't gain a lot of weight but I definitely did gain some - DUMB! I know in my head that eating cinnamon buns (or any other sweets) won't help any emotional situation, but tell that to the "sweet monster" that lives inside me!

I can appreciate what you are saying about your daughter and her husband's interfering family. I was married to a man that "never left home" - he was married to his "family" - they ALWAYS came first, even over our children. It helped a bit when we moved out of town (job related because he never would have moved otherwise). I don't know if this is an option for your daughter and her family, to get him away from his family.

My daughter is a stay-at-home mom to my 2-year old grandson. Homes in Vancouver are very high and continue to climb and climb. They don't have a lot of $ so like you do, I buy clothes for our grandson and babysit when it is convenient to help them out. I have to do this while I am still employed.

Big meeting today and we'll know the "fate" of our jobs by the end of the month. I honestly do not think I will be able to keep my job. I am 56 and the thought of being unemployed and trying to find another job, one that pays as well and has benefits, is slim to none. But I will try and be positive.

Hope your home sells and you can finally move. I saw Dr. Phil's book when (2nd) hubby and I were shopping at Costco this past week. I didn't get to even browse thru the book but if I get a chance to I will definitely read it. I get home too late in the day from work to watch Oprah or his TV program.

One of the best books I have read is The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem - I believe it is along the same lines as Dr. Phil's - about making choices for ourselves. I found it a bit technical in places but the information was the best I have ever read on the subject (of self esteem, emotions and choices).

Hope to hear from you. Good luck on selling your house.

Bye for now - Jan (((hugs))) too!
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  #150   ^
Old Wed, Dec-03-03, 10:49
ruby's Avatar
ruby ruby is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 236
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 169/153/120 Female 62"
BF:Start38%
Progress: 33%
Default great thread

Thanks Karen,
Ruby
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