I am relatively new to this forum so I guess my opinion may not count for much. There is way too much arguing going on the last few days. I love this forum and am grateful to have found it, but, if I had joined in the last few days, seeking advice, and seeing my posts turned into a "war zone" I may not have returned. When us newbies ask for advice no matter how stupid, we are desperate for answers. There can be many answers and opinions, I think about all of them and incorporate the best one for myself. On a final thought, being kind is so much easier and less stressful than arguing with a cyber person.

Some people are much more interested in being RIGHT than being supportive, unfortunately.

I agree potato free But also there are a lot of opinions on this forum that get mistaken for an argument. Also not every thing applies to everyone the same such as the coffee thing and stalls and all that so one person may have had a different experience than the other but they both feel they are right. I have had that problem several times and have to post a rebuttal so as not to hurt anyone's feelings. This is a wonderful forum though and I am glad I found it and it has helped me tremendously!! Sometimes people are just having a bad day and you just have to overlook those. Have a great day.

After you've been here longer, you'll also start to notice a pattern. There are some members who are like oil and water... you'll see them argue in several threads. I swear they follow each other around! Sometimes, it's well-meaning and misunderstood, sometimes a member with a bit of success under their belt who gets on a bit of a power trip... some people just have to feel superior. <shrug>

In any case, there's always the "report post" button and the "ignore list" function in case you ever feel a post warrants the attention of the moderators. Personal insults, rudeness, name-calling... all the "fun" stuff. Even if you're just DYING to return an insult, it's not going to serve any purpose other than getting your own posting priveleges yanked if it continues...even IN the War Zone.

The War Zone is a sub-forum reserved for "heated" issues. We intentionally made it a seperate area, with a clear warning as to what's in it and what it's for, so members can chose to avoid it, if they prefer to not read a heated discussion. Some issues are either controversial, or sensitive, yet they can be very important or valuable, and we canot simply delete them based on controversy, if they happen to be informative. A clearely marked space for such issues solves the problem, and allows us to acheive the balance of allowing a wider range of opinions, while not disrubting the supportive atmosphere in other areas of the forum.

You may have joined a discussion in the War Zone through the search page, and didn't notice in which area it was posted. You can avoid such threads if you want, by noticing the forum title in the search results.

Wa'il

I'll second that. My first reply was in regards to heated, yet respectful, debates on issues. But if Allison meant offensive posts, insults etc., then the report button ( ) is the way to go, as it will alert moderators to the post in question. We usually have about 10,000 posts a day, and no one can read every single post So we do rely on our members to report any abusive posts.

Wa'il

Of course your opinion counts! Everyone's opinion counts. That being said, I whole-heartedly believe some people are just miserable. For every 1000 wonderful people on here, there is always going to be that one person who wants to be unsupportive and arguementative. I've asked a ton of stupid questions, and a few times I've gotten posts that I thought were a bit snippy. I just ignored them and focused on the helpful ones. If we all had the same points of view, and were nice 100% of the time I think the world would be a rather uninteresting place. Not to mention we would have to rename Earth "Stepford."

My suggestion is to just overlook the war zone if it upsets you. For the negative posts, let's just blame it all on the one miserable person out of 1000. Let's call him Mr. N. "Mr. N, it's all your fault, and we can't stand you! Don't post on my threads anymore! Stop being so negative and scaring people off!! Get yourself a life and quit being a sourpus!"

Well said Juli!!

What it really comes down to is the fact that there ARE no "stupid questions". The people who post really ARE looking for help/guidance/permission.

We can only hope to encourage those who come to the forum to ask for help. We can hope that they embrace the WOE/WOL that we have and become healthier because of it.

Just because someone asks for help doesn't mean they are weak/bad/misguided, they WANT help. I say, let's give it to them.

I truly believe that there are NO stupid questions, only those that go unasked.

Ask away!!!!

Julie

Agreed! I could have said that differently!

Okay, this is the war zone so I'm gonna throw this out there and expect to be conked on the head ! There was one word in Mousemom's post that made me twinge..."permission". This is not ours to give. And it does seem like there are people on here that cheat and look to us to justify their behavior.

As I see it, there are two choices. Either eat the "bad" food or don't. If you did, then I give the advice to "get back on the wagon" and if you didn't, I say "good for you". But there are some posters who take NO responsibility for themselves and expect everyone around them to adjust themselves to their lifestyle. This is not only NOT fair to others, it's not fair to themselves. What will they do in the "real world"?

I do agree that there are some harsh people in this forum. More of it seems to do with the fact that this is typed and there is no emotion to go with it. Had those people said those things to your face, they would probably just seem straightforward, not harsh.

But, the poster has to realize that soooo many of us have done this and are successful at it. When they whine and we appeal to the adult in them, they take the defensive. This is abhorrent to me, personally. I did this by myself (with SUPPORT from other members, not babysitting) and succeeded and so did alot of people in here. I am here for support only, not to babysit and mollycoddle them. Therefore, I will only answer what I consider "legitimate" questions. I seem to get myself in trouble if I tell someone it's their choice and don't pat them on the back for whining.

Just my .02

This is actually one of the most peaceful message boards I belong to.

And Kryssi, I really think she meant "Permission" in the sense of people asking noob questions like "Can I have yogurt on induction?"

It's very easy to get sucked in when you percieve someone as "whining", Kryssi.. but if it's not your job to babysit or mother them, why to you feel the need to scold them for being that way, or even defend your advice and try to make them see the error of their ways? If they don't like the advice you gave them, why go back and hammer the point home instead of leaving them to find someone who either percieves their problem differently (because it just might be possible that you misunderstood them as well.. ) or WANTS to babysit them. There are people who seem to do better with someone else dictating their choices, as well as plenty who don't seem to mind taking on the responsibility.

It takes all kinds.

Okay, well, if that's the case then it makes me even more annoyed. I would never make a lifestyle change without research and, if you ask a question like that, you could not have read the book. It's pretty simple.

There ARE things that are unclear though. The whole ketosis thing can be mind boggling at times and I still have questions about it. Potential stallers (after induction of course) are another thing.

Induction, to me, is quite cut and dried. I even pulled out my book just now to make sure. I even realized it's getting dog-eared after only three months. Must be me pulling it out constantly!

Yep. There are those who can't be bothered to read the book, and aside from advising them to read the book, I generally don't say much. The other areas are confusing at times, due to many factors. Since all the new Atkins materials have been churned out and the website has gone to the dogs with all the products they push, it's hard to even get induction right since they seem to be advising heavy use of Atkins products even then!

It's not always easy to see who really wants help, who wants to vent, and who might be looking for an enabler. I do know that some people are too shy to post valid questions for fear of being lectured. Although I'm SURE you don't mean it as such, some of your replies have come off that way. It's very hard to get "tone" across in posts even if you or or every line.

So many different backgrounds and personalities are like one big, somewhat dysfunctional family.