I am printing this from TRIG and slapping it on my mirror I look at in the morning!!!!!!!!!-

"just don't react to any of it
say screw this and go have a big glass of wine and think about your fun date coming up and how fat the bank acct is growing despite the stupid job

think all positive you are getting as long as you DO NOT let your mind go down that rabbit hole they are digging!!"

Thanks TRIG

NIC I was wondering if anyone would pic out who is going to do what in my new dream job........ Trig wedding dress shopping I was hooting over that that too and put it in- good EYE !!!! HAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAH-
You ready for school starting?
I am SOOOOOOO Happy you are seeing a doctor!

Thank you for your kind words regarding my daughter! she is struggling right now!

LORI- I am in disbelief you fell again OMG!!!!!!- I am SO glad it was not worse. Dear god you have worked so so so hard to get back to normal. So glad it was not worse. I feel for you my friend.
GEEZE-
How was the rest of your day?-
OH PLEASE take a pic before you leave! You girl will rock it!!!!!

BLUE/ GREG- HELLO
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I am taking TRIGS advice to total heart. I am letting it go. Do just what is required and looking and not making waves , banking money. I just took it so personal for a low score on a eval- when it is not my fault.
BIG breath................ ROLL- ROLL ROLL ROLL -

TRIG- when the kiddo goes back to school we MUST do frekin a day. I might come up your way- I can stay with my aunt in Charlotte. We can take that off line!

I agree with the clothes bit- let the kiddo pic her stuff.

So I have figured out that the cutie dude will most likely be a tradition guy. But ya know that is ok. He is not looking for anything "long term, ring on it. Just have some fun. he has the 2 kids every other weekend- and is still involved in family. I am years past that.

So hey - it's good. He is cute, attentive and is ok for right now. Who knows. No strings. Just going out and having a great time.

I will be working another few 3-4 hurst's tonight. Playing catch up and getting it done- but I know it won't be good enough! - SIGH....

WOE- SUCKED TONIGHT! - Well not really , but I way over ate. I ate .............. one I ate 3 burgers. No bun- just fried burger 80/20 - I made it at home. But dear god I ate 3 of them. I put a slice of cheese ( I know)- and a tomato and topped with guacamole. I am SOOOOOOOOO full......... dam granted they were not thick, most likely 1/2 pound of beef before cooked. But the fat and it was too much! the cheese on it with a tomato and on a bed of let's- it was gobble gobble.Now I am full - too full. Tomorrow is a new day
Total carbs- maybe 10 all day- that is my saving grace.

Ok- gotta work!!!! I want this crap done-

Sorry up to speed!

Hi all,

Trig---Wow, I can really hear your experience in the business world---from your other long ago life up north, LOL. IMO, you are 100% on point. LOL--- group/ department write ups," NOPE. This just screams problems with management. I swear, Jaz's mgt. deserves to be fired, YEP, a group clean out.

Agree again, 100%, on kiddo and the clothing thing. IMO, one of the most useless things to argue w/a kid about is how they look, unless how they look could get them arrested or hurt.

It is every adolescent/teen's badge of honor to express their fledgling selves in what they wear in a way that irritates their parents. To borrow your words, "don't react." But your kiddo is very artistic and I've noticed she goes in cycles w/care about hair and clothes. Ha, when you least feel like it, she'll decide she needs some new duds and then it will have to be NOW.

Jaz---So yeah, Trig gave you some excellent advice. Or as the Beatles would say, just freaking "let it be." Do your job as best you can, not for them, but for you. You can "write a rebuttal" when either they let you go, or when you have a new job.

Long ago I worked at a big/international ad agency under a truly horrible boss of the place. He eventually fired everyone he had not hired, which included me and 5 others in the creative department, amongst others.

When I went to my first job interview post firing, the creative director at the agency I was applying to told me being fired by this guy was a feather in my cap. Believe me, people out there know when something is hinky bad. And then too, you can pick your references carefully, and pretty easily explain away some absences. People know there are bad places to work out there.

Hey girl, loving the date action again. I think you do a great job of this. You go at it for a bit, and then retreat for a bit. And one of these times, well, yeah, that darn penny---which doesn't have to mean heads up on marriage or life long commitment of any kind, but can simply mean life gets a bit more interesting.

Nic---Hate hearing about the vertigo rearing its head again. So glad you're going in to address it--- and I know both of us will do much to avoid the doctor's office, but this is just one of those things you have to address. Fingers crossed for you there will be a solution as there has been before.

I really giggled when you did the sotto voce thing on the kids as in "we're doing surprising well w/out them living here." Hahahahaha. Yep, I firmly believe that after a point, grown children are not meant to live w/their parents or visa versa. It's just a really loaded situation in so many ways.

Plus, what I glean from the years I've known you, is that while you are a very dedicated mother and have been a great domestic CEO, so to speak, you also have plenty of dreams of your own left. And the great news is, you have lots of time to find and experience them. And I can feel your interest and excitement as that time for you comes around again.

YAY for you on being on plan for 3 days. Gads, when I finally got really serious again about LC, my first week wasn't easy and after 3 or 4 days, I felt like I'd scaled a mountain. Well, maybe a foothill but you get my drift.

Lori---Oh honey, that description of your fall over the cat had me shaking in my metaphorical shoes. The pain sounded terrible, but also the chance that you could have injured something else with a fall like that. SO HAPPY it was momentary and you did well in Yoga and aren't experiencing any residual pain and discomfort!

Turns out, via Trig and Nic's reply on this, we all have to watch out for our animals these days. Sometimes our dogger creeps into the kitchen and settles down behind me at the stove or refrigerator, and I don't hear her either. Can't tell you how careful I'm trying to be to look behind me every time.

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So my work schedule these days is really unpredictable, unlike the days of yore when I had one large contract and more predictable smaller clients. Days go by when I don't have to do a thing, and then all of a sudden something will pop up and it seems to always demand immediate attention. I'm grateful for that, but am having to learn to trigger the mojo on short notice.

Hence, Monday and Tuesday of this week was crazy w/work all of a sudden, plus social stuff on each night. Monday night we went to a B'day party on a roof top on what we call here "Cathedral Hill." Beautiful city neighborhood, and omg, the views from this rooftop!!! Food was fab and very easy for me to stay on plan with. Also, I knew half the folks, didn't know the other half and that made it really interesting. Had some great conversations w/new people to me, and I love that.

Today at last, was quieter. Enough work to fill my morning, then I did some errands, and went down for my pool work out. Holy BAD, the pool was like bath water, which happens now and then here.

May have mentioned that there's a crew of little old ladies here who gasp when they put their toe in if it isn't way too warm. Well, today I'd had it w/the good brownie bit and went to the manager of the building. Told her not only was the pool totally NOT refreshing, it is imo, a bacteria/health issue to have it this warm. She's great and was very responsive. Hopefully tomorrow will see a big improvement. Did my work out anyway, but didn't work it as hard as I would have liked to. Too dang warm.

Lastly, the bad news. Got on the scale today. Not only have I not lost, I have bounced up 2 pounds from my last weigh in a bit more than a week ago. Haha, bouncin' Blue is back. How could I have forgotten than I bounce like a yo yo? BAH! ON THE SCALE!

The good news. Here's something else I had forgotten in my long dark night of the NOT LC soul, LOL. There is something that happens when you're on LC that the scale does not tell you about, but your clothing does. And I mean beyond any bloat issues. I dunno how it happens, but it seems your body re-arranges itself.

Today I put on a top I got beginning of last summer. It is a bit form fitting, but not crazy so. Had put it on at the beginning of this summer and NO WAY could I wear it. Today it looked darn good on me, if I do say so. Yeah, I've also been working out in the pool, now almost every day. 30 minutes. So that's probably helped too and I can see it in my arms and legs.

Still, I'm sure not burning major cals down at the pool---for me it's been all about moving myself and my limbs and exercising my heart. I believe most of what I see in my clothing right now---and that top is not the only thing this is true of---is simply about what I've been eating and what I've not been eating.

Nicco, no reason to be shocked you don't miss the kids that much

remember one thing...….you raised your kids! you did your job and you have done it well!! When it is time to let them fly, your mind says your job is mostly done now....let them fly and live to their fullest as adults. It is good to be out from under the 'raising' time....keep them 'alive' times...make them 'learn life' times.....you been there done that NOW you guys focus more on you and keep your toe in with the kids to help when needed but you can enjoy life with your hubby and not in any way feel wrong about doing just that

I think a lot of people hover on that empty nest syndrome....not me cause I am anxious and starry eyed to see how my kid functions as an adult and the great life she can make from how good we raised her yea all good on the family front here like your home LOL

YEA!! can ya see me out shopping for used wedding dresses?
I would be at the bar while Jaz did her thing, I could help her pack and carry them back

Lori hope your cut and color came out great for ya!!
sounds like you are getting yourself into a very good eating zone! Finding what suits you and getting good results.

Jaz let life flow over ya. We do not have to react to every single damn thing that comes down the pike and hits us in the face sometimes we can say 'whatever', truly let it go and see where we land. Me being a control freak I am trying to do just that. Let it the hell go and live on my terms thru the mess of life. We can't do it all, control it all, have it perfect all the time so our attitude of how we handle the BS that comes at us...priceless!

Enjoy your guy for what it is. Companionship on a light note is a good thing

Blue, forgot about the lc effect did ya It is so true. firm LC means leaner and meaner body. no doubt about that! Glad you got that blouse on and feel fab in it! Positive results for your hard work!

rooftop party. ahh that would be so cool. I would love that scene with the lights of the city below and all. You are our dedicated social butterfly here!!

yea on the kid....when it hits she needs it NOW and that drives me batty. especially when it is....I need a new sketchbook for art class.....today!!!! huh, come on and off I run to the store so she has it.....couldn't tell me a few days before could ya? you had me cracking up on that!

Greg, hope all is good and your plan is going well. SO far I am staying to the planned foods. Bloat dropped for me and I feel so much better being on a very controlled limited menu. Takes the bs of feeding myself out of the equation and that suits me How are you doing?



off to moms in a bit
hit grocery store and visit

possible tstorms around today? hubby said that but getting sunny out there now....who knows. I rarely even bother checking weather anymore.

calling on rv today and new awning arm came in wrong part...they overnighted a new one, so have to see where we stand. I got 7 days to get rv ready for week trip leaving on the 8th and the damn thing ain't back yet! hopefully tomorrow it will be picked up and done and I can focus on getting the heck out of dodge in a bit

in a decent mood so far. not evil, not fluffy happy...just doing til I can hit the beach and perk up

I had no idea travel was SO important to me. I mean I love to travel but now it seems my life REQUIRES it

anyway, great day all...off I go to get moving. hubby doing Chiro today. he got squished in appt yesterday afternoon, this morning he is still a pretzel and goes early today for another adjustment. he is not good but I learned to live with pretzel boy before, am I doing it again hopefully he will get better by our trip and he can just relax and surf fish and take life easy on the beach....best medicine

Good Challenge Day 4- How are we doing?!?!?!?!

Short one until tonight! - Huge travel day before me, full schedule and I am still 3 charts behind from yesterday! SIghhhhhhhhhh

However, I am really getting into this book I am reading. This guy who developed the Bullet coffee wrote another book called bullet proof diet.
He uses research for the base of everything. But I made the real deal bullet coffee this morning and it is DELICIOUS. Complete with the unsalted grass fed Kerrygold and MCT oil, and coconut milk and put it in a blender! DANG- It is DELIGHTFUL!!!!!!! I will only do it once and then just add coffee to keep it topped off. It is really smooth and not oily- very frothy! I could really get into it!

Anyway the premise is that it puts you into fat buring right away for hours until you finally eat. This is GREAT. PLUS the fat (healthy fat) keeps ya from being hungry. Goes hand in hand with my OMAD lifestyle! I will share more as I get into the book!

BLUE- I no longer am hooked an a scale (that took a huge minute). But I agree with you that going LCHF- shifts your body in all the right ways! Awesome on that top you got. I like it for several reasons. You stated that sometimes you will buy some article of clothing that is "JUST ALMOST" wearable less a few pounds. It's a goal. Well I now do the same thing. Currently I have a sweet pair of jean shorts waiting on me!
I have NO doubt that all that swimming and pool work out had changed up your muscle (which weighs more) and you have lost fat!
GOOD for you!

Your dinner party sounds fabulous! How do you do that? Atlanta is just not that social! It is HARD to meet people in a bigger city- TRUST ME! Especially if one is constantly WORKING! - Anyway I am happy for you! You sound so good and grounded and I know you are "doing your thing"!

Work for you- Yes there is some ebb and flow I am sure!- This is just a SUGGESTION, because you are so social maybe you could get a part time gig doing seething you love?!?!- It would bring in a few dollars and possible contacts? Just a THOUGHT.
You are doing GREAT!!!!!

LORI- How are you doing after that last fall? Any residual pain? I get it. So something I would and have done! Klutz is my middle name. When do you go back to the Chiro? does your insurance pay for it?
Wanted to ask you- you do Bullet coffee too don't you? True bullet coffee would really help with the OMAD if that is your goal! - I can't wait to see how this helps with fat burning!!!!!

Uhggg- forgot to send you the cholesterol link! I will! I did some pretty heavy research and NO WAY will I take a statin. My number is also close to 300. HOWEVER research is saying that is not enough to warrant taking a statin. It is inflammation that is the better marker and your Triglycerides are GREAT!- NO WORRIES

Can't wait to hear about your the reunion. It is a themed party? Those are a blast?

Trig- What the update on school clothes and RV?- BTW- I really appreciated you taking the time to really help me get this job in the right frame of thought! You are so right on!

Nic-- How is your back feeling? Also how is your vertigo doing?!- I wish your appt was sooner. But I get how these things take time to get into specialist. Speaking of- any updates on the hubby?
Thinking about you!!!!!!! (HUGGGGGGSSSSSSS) - Just felt you needed one today!

Greg- HELLO
-----------------------------------
Well So much for the quickie short post! I will pay for it later by charting into the evening. Thats ok, I will play catch up tomorrow. I seriously need to switch computers from a laptop to a tablet and get it up and running for work. Well that takes a minute (hours) - and I flat out told my manager if they want me to do that they needed to build that into my day, I was NOT spending my weekend with IT on work related stuff for hours. They want this- then they need to give me time to get it done.
So I am only seeing one patient tomorrow. But it will also give me time to get caught up on these blasted charts!

What this will do for me is allow me to chart in the home so I am not charting so much at night! so really it is a good thing.
My manager sent a really long apology email yesterday. however she didn't change my review. She said the entire team got written up and it is out of her hands, it came from higher than her. She also stated she feels bad because I HAVE gone above and beyond but the "higher ups" are only looking at numbers.- Trust me I am SAVING that email.

Woke up with a slight sore throat. Although the warm buttery coffee really helped with that! Feel ready to go- it is just a bit itchy!
Slept really good. I just love my SLEEP! The older I get the more I value good sleep!

So this guy I am meeting and I have been talking on the phone now every evening. I like him as a friend - period. I will go out Friday and have a good time and then let him know he is in the friend bucket. You know that is ok. I don't mind making a friend. But he is not in the same place I am. He is still raising high schoolers, in a fight with his ex and broke up with his last girlfriend because she wanted more. His priorities are his kids. As it should be! - We are just in two places. I am ready to settle down with someone and he has no interest at all to have anything more than just friends with benefits.
He can be a friend- WITHOUT benefits! I will be honest about it. After all we are both adults. he seems very sweet, we are just not in the same place. So no loss! Happy to make a friend and I will let him know that! If he wants to hang out and go places in the future as friends I am game. But that will be it. But hey, I am not disappointed because that is what dating is for. Seeing what works and what doesn't.
So I can still go out and have a good time. I will most likely pay my half of dinner so there are no expectations. I am not putting this into a "date" bucket!

Yes- Blue- I have my ebb and flow with that! I am in the want to meet someone now. It's when I get overwhelmed with all that I pull back for a minute! So it's time to dip my toe back into the waters.

Eating will be on plan! - My cheeseburger want has been put to bed!!!!! - It was TOO much!
Tonight I have a piece of beautiful salmon and broccoli waiting on me when I get home. I will share some with the pooch. It is her favorite food!

Gotta run- LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good morning! It is Thursday on what has seemed to be a very fast week.

Lori- your 15 year old grandson sounds wonderful. I hope you had fun with him.

Jaz- I will continue to think of your DD and send her all my best vibes. I can't quite imagine what she is going through right now. I had a miscarriage between my first and second kids but was not very far along at all, so did not have to go through what she is enduring.

I think having this guy as a potential friend will be a good thing- at least I hope so. I agree that, once one has kids out of the house, it would take a lot to be willing to put up with having them back in again!

I hope you are not getting sick!

Trig- Ah, teenagers! So much like toddlers in the "I don't want you!/ Wait, don't leave me!" push-pull thing. Not ready til they're ready and then suddenly the house is burning down!

So they can get the correct part for the RV overnight? Sort of burns my butt when they have held on to it all that time!

Hugs to the Pretzel Pork Chop! He's now a pretzel breaded fried chop!

Blue- very true about teens and how the dress/look. I have been learning it well with the last! He skulked around almost every day for 6 months in a black XXX Tentacion (rapper) black hoodie and now I am curious to see how his once-platinum hair looks grown out for a month!

Loved reading your post, as always. I think it is super that you are seeing the difference in your body and clothes. That is where it really matters IMO, unless you are going to tattoo a number on your forehead for all to see!

You have managed to really stir up pool envy in me, and I am one who is not actually a pool fan! Of all the summers for mine to be closed!

•••••

So I might have my first client for my PD business! I was hanging with my Bunco chicks last night drinking and catching up, and when I mentioned my NYC trip and training, one mentioned that one of the people she works with has a one week old baby and is on maternity leave and another person she works with is pregnant. I told her to feel free to pass on my name and number. Got a text from her this AM that the person with the one week old is interested in contacting me!

This is great but on the other hand, I am not ready! I need to file the paperwork to actually kick off the Certification TODAY then, because I have to have three evaluations during the Certification period but they don't count unless they start AFTER you have started the Certification period. Does that make sense? The workshop I took is good for a couple of years but certain things, like the evaluations, can only be done once the actual time-limit Certification paperwork is filed. So I need to do that today. I also need to draw up a contract of sorts, which I hadn't planned to do quite yet, and do some other stuff too. I am going to be very busy over the next day or two trying to pull all of this together!

I think I'm going to go set up at the library with my computer. It is harder to focus on really getting down to business here at home so I'll set up in a carrel. I do intend on converting our living room into a home office for myself. I am hoping to eventually be doing some small classes in there, perhaps!

Let me also add that while yesterday was pretty well on plan, it wasn't entirely. And I have a headache this morning from Titos vodka!

I appreciate the comments from all of you regarding the kids being gone and how it feels around here. I know I carry a whole lot of fear and baggage going into this next stage bc of my Mom and her response to our growing up and leaving.. she never created a life for herself and pretty much never developed an adult identity for herself outside of being a mother. I really do not want to recreate that. It is helpful to see myself through your eyes and know that I seem to be doing okay in that regard.

Home visit tonight for CASA and I think the Bio Mom will be there. I haven't seen her in quite a long time so I will be curious to see how she is faring.

Good Morning!

Decided to wait a bit before posting today. I went to Yoga ~ 8:15 and then was supposed to pick up DGS15, but he texted me and said he was just hanging out at home today. So....turned around and came home and changed and then off to the grocery store. Now I'm home and finally put my feet up!

August 1st...can you believe it? Almost vacation time Trig!! YAY!! Get ready beach, here she comes! Hope Pretzel boy is better till then.

Jaz....I think you're approaching the new guy situation perfectly. No sense getting too involved with someone with teens and ex wife issues. More drama that you don't need, right?

I go back to the Chiro tomorrow. My insurance pays all but $20 per visit. Thank goodness!

About my "fall". I didn't hit the ground, I caught myself with my bad arm on the edge of the kitchen sink. If I hadn't, I would have caught myself with my face! I guess the few moments of severe pain were better than smashed out teeth, right? Silver linings.

It is DH's 50th high school reunion this weekend. Tomorrow night is a casual get together at a local pub and then Saturday night is the big wingding.

Blue...love that the new top is looking good! Isn't it funny how the scale can show no difference, but you can see a feel a big difference? Love it!

Ugh on the warm pool water. I think you're right in thinking it could be a bacterial issues...yuck! Hope the management takes your concerns to heart.

Nic...nice that you're getting some nibbles on future clients already! I'm sure you'll breeze thru the certification with no problems. Hope that Tito's headache is better!

Ok....over & out!

Hi all.

It is late and this is the first moment that worked for me today to get here. I'm kind of pooped out so I'm going to do something I kind of like doing lately---which is to address one post that really hit me, and one that I think speaks to all of us in a way.

Nic-and ALL--I found it SO interesting and BRAVE, what you said about your mom, and how that plays into your fears. And I also have to say, you are so not your mom, and YES! you are absolutely going to do this differently, AND, I'll put my money on you any old day to pull off your dreams---albeit w/a few bumps along the way. That part never changes.

Y'know, it's funny how we as parents all talk about letting our birdies fly, when the time comes. But what we don't talk about, and I think our culture in general does not talk about in more than a superficial way, is what do WE AS PARENTS DO, after our birdies have done what nature demands. What is to become of us then? And as great as being grand parents might be, I'm talking about something beyond that, something that's about who we are now free to be. It may look easier than it is, till you get there.

And it's not just about being parents. It's about every close relationship that undergoes change and passage. You don't have to have kids to feel your nest empty out in some way. I have felt this professionally too.

What I hear from you, Nic, is that your mother didn't know quite what to do w/herself after her time as a mom ended..."never quite created an adult identity for herself." This is not an uncommon thing for women of her age. And then of course, there's just those unique "your mom" things.

I think it's true that our children will want to be both like us and as unlike us as they can be. And both of those things will cycle and change thru-out their lives. This is the way I know it to be anyway, from my experience with both my imperfect, but very loving parents. I was lucky that way and hope whatever my imperfections as a mom, that my love for my son always translates as loud and clear as theirs did, despite the myriad of issues and well, some big stuff they presented me with as the very human and fallible people they were.

Son and I had just a great talk tonight about this and so many things. He is SO blooming into his own possibilities and what he CAN be---not on my time line btw---I have so worried--- but yet, in plenty of time. Again, "miles to go before he sleeps." And he, not I, will be choosing that path now. Letting go is both blissful and painful.

I was thinking about all this stuff when we were talking and I out and out told him, here's where I'd prefer you didn't follow in my footsteps, here's where I want you to learn from me by NOT being like me, and I make no bones about it. I'm getting old enough that I don't mind how he learns what will make his life easier and happier---from the best to the worst of the two people who love him beyond words. But ultimately of course, those are decisions left up to him. And I am STILL learning to let go and leave it up to him.

We work so hard on and want so much for our children to trust us. Comes a time we must trust them in return.

But one thing I know is true. One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the freedom from worrying about us as they spread their wings. I did not always have that, to say the least---sounds like you didn't/haven't either, Nic,--- so I have been so determined that my son does have that---to the point where he sometimes says to me "hey mom, please tell me about what's really up with you." When I hear that, I do confide some, but really, not all that much. He has enough on his plate, and I have found other things to lean into.

Maybe some day I'll have no choice but to depend on him and reverse roles, but I will save him from that as long as I can.

One of the things I think I can say about every one of my LCOW pals here, is that we are strong women who WILL FIND A WAY to carry on as various roles in life pass us by. As different as we all are, that's a commonality I feel draws us together in our long and unexpected journey together, as much as our woes. I'm in tall company here, and I love it.

XO my pals, and hey, thanx for listening to me when I get into one of my "deep" modes. LOL, I'll get back to the more shallow end soon.

Good Morning!

Love your long, thoughtful posts Blue. Deep end or shallow end, I always look forward to reading your thoughts.

I didn't get up till nearly 7 o'clock. Of course, I was up at 4 to let the cat out. So glad that I could go back to bed and get some more sleep. This morning at 10:30 I go for a pedicure and then at 2:30 this afternoon I'm back to the Sport Chiro. Then it's home to scare something up for dinner and get ready to go to the local watering hole for DH's casual high school class get together. It doesn't start till 7 and is a just have a drink and talk kind of thing.

Get this....tomorrow morning DH & I have to go pick up the cakes for the reunion. 2 full decorated sheets plus a 1/4. I am picturing cake smashed all over the sidewalk in front of the venue. I tried to get him to order the cake from a place that would deliver.....sigh.....but no, he decided that we could do it. Wish us luck!

Did I tell you all that we are driving into Brooklyn NY to take DGS16 to a baseball tournament this month? Besides the $$$ for 4 nights of hotels, I'm a nervous wreck about driving into the city. Country girl here! Our daughter is a teacher and will be back to work that week, so we are up! She'll come up to the city for the weekend. His Dad can't get off work either, so Grandparents to the rescue. DGS16 is really serious about his baseball and there will supposedly be college and pro scouts at this tournament. The University of Virginia is already interested in him, but can't officially talk to him until the first day of his Junior year of high school. That's in a few weeks! Can't believe it....he's growing up so quickly!

Ok.....time for more coffee and catching up on email etc. Have a wonderful Friday!

HAPPY FRIDAY- Challenge day 5-

Putting down my dot to return to!!!!- yesterday110% - all good just VERY behind in my charting and feel behind the 8 ball. Being reactive rather than proactive. Today is catch up!!!!!-

Back in a bit!!!!-
Hope you all are well. Personals next post!

Hi All! It is FriYAY!

Blue- I do love some nice warmish pool water but there is definitely too warm. I know that to be true and then you are right, it is not refreshing at all. Wonder if you will get an appropriate response from management and I assume then there will be pushback from people who want it warmer. Not your monkeys!!

I love hearing about your son. You have no idea. I listen very carefully! I am glad he is so coming into his own and I hear you about that evolving relationship and learning to let go. And again. And again. It is really all about change, and evolution for them and for us, I think.. they are growing into their own people (well, they always were but that is so blurred when they are young) and yet, so are we, continuously. The largest problems come when we don't want to, or don't know how to, keep growing and changing..and so we try to keep things as they were. This is what I don't want. They are growing and leaving regardless, as they should. I need to do the same and with an open heart and mind. We have miles to go as well, IMO, before we sleep!

Speaking of sons, also, is what I have jokingly called the 'theme of the year' for DS17. Last year the theme was 'I will drag us both across the jr year finish line with you having decent grades, so help me god, so you have options.' This year the theme is 'you only have one year left of high school so DO NOT F THIS UP, just keep things clean and above board PLEASE!' I am going to go with shorthand for him, this is the year called DNFTU! I am totally serious about that and so is DH. This is the goal! Not necessarily easy with a kid who has pretty limited foresight and a knack for telling his parents nothing.

Lori- Hope you have fun tonight (and tomorrow too!) You will be fine driving into New York- it is inherently stressful but also completely doable. Use GPS. We made a couple of wrong turns but it was all fixable, you know? Very exciting about your baseball playing grandson!

Jaz- Sounds like you are buried! Hopefully it won't be too bad!

••••

So yesterday was a super busy day. That new-baby Mom has not yet reached out to me, and may not, but the whole experience was a gift in that it made me push that button and get the clock started on the certification time window. Spent several hours on that yesterday with many more hours to go. I went to the library so I could focus/concentrate and that didn't go so well- had several people come up to talk to me, and a person from my NYC conference call me about some doula stuff.. I probably got in a little over an hour and a half's worth of work in three hours time. I think I'll stay home today and set up in the LR instead.

Then I did my CASA home visit and that was quite an experience. I was supposed to come around 5 and so I arrived a couple of minutes before 5. No one was home. Texted the Foster Mom and let her know I was there and she texted me back that she would be arriving more like 5:30. OK no biggie but it was 90 degrees out. I was just thinking I would go somewhere cool for a half hour when someone gets dropped off at the house.. turns out it is the Bio Mom, whom I have met once before. She goes up to the house and comes back shortly thereafter, to my car. Long story short, I end up taking her with me to go hang out for a half hour at a local DD bc it is just hot and I feel bad with her waiting out in the heat.

So I had a half hour to talk to her, which was a good thing all things considered but HOO BOY this woman is ALL OVER THE PLACE mentally and her rate of speech is so fast and disjointed. I felt like I'd been whirred up in a blender by the time that half hour is done. I don't know if she is on some serious uppers or what but DANG. And I know she is nervous too, but I've been around plenty of nervous people doing CASA and they don't look or sound like that! She is not stable, IMO.

So we go back when Foster Mom is home and do a home visit, plus the Social Worker comes by so I get a few minutes with her as well. Very successful as far as number of people seen! And my heart always does go out to the Bio parents, even if they are not the best people to raise those kids, because I know it is hard for them to be separated and that, even when their choices are poor, that doesn't negate the fact that they love them. I can see that she loves them.

Today I'll be doing some certification work and I also want to do some shredding of old bills and other paperwork that is getting backed up. Just a day at home, I think.

On plan.

Just wanted to pop in and say I made significant progress at my Sport Chiro appointment today. Dr. is very pleased. Keep in mind significant improvement simply means being able to reach a couple inches further or rotate the joint a minuscule amount. I'm hoping now that things have started moving a bit, the recovery goes faster. We'll see.

Totally on plan today, but I'll be having a drink or 2 tonight. Have to hit the shower in a few minutes to get ready to go.

We just had a storm go by, but it appears that the worst of it went around us. YAY!

Have a good night!

Hi all.

Lori---Have fun at the pre-party tonight. Did they get your hair the way you like it? Yes, definitely send us a pix of you and the hubs dressed up tomorrow night. I bet you're one of the most youthful and fit looking couples there.

Also, great news on the "baby steps" w/your arm. Considering you were "frozen in time" there for awhile, these small movements do indeed seem significant.

Nic---Yep, good deal on getting those certifications moving. Maybe if you don't hear from this gal you can send her a gentle e-mail, no hustle, just here's what I do, here's where I am if you need me. Will you put together a web site? Ha, not to freak you out w/everything it takes to get this thing rolling, but I think when you can do it a web site is so important. Gives you credibility and allows people to sort of get to know you thru what you write there and how you express it. Also easy to refer any interested clients to your site. Heh, business cards just don't do it anymore.

Uh-huh, sounds like we have sons who are similar in some ways---oppositional and sometimes rebellious. Also, not famous for good judgement. Good news is mine has improved dramatically in the judgement category, well really in every way, and I can say the best parts of him, and there are several, are really shining these days.

I'm sure you've heard that w/the boys their front cerebral cortex---the impulse control factory, so to speak---is not fully developed until around 25. Honey I swear, I saw it happen in front of my own eyes. He hit 23 to 25 and his behavior really evolved and changed for the better---not to say it was horrible till then but to say it improved by leaps and bounds as he hit his mid 20's.

Probably a combination of life spanking him in ways we couldn't, hard lessons learned etc, but deffo also a maturation that just felt organic, because it was. HAHA, good news is it happens, bad news is might take a minute till T hits his mid twenties. But of course, nothing that says T won't be ahead of the curve in that biological reality.

Thing w/these kind of kids, imo, is they may challenge the heck out of you, but they will also surprise you w/some amazing stuff. And the things that drove you crazy get groomed into positive and productive assets. My closest neighbor in the old neighborhood had the same kind of kid, and we both agree that while they were kids that gave us a bumpy ride, they are now kids who are surprising us in good ways and so many ways...and that their "spark" the same one that could drive us crazy, is now an asset to them as they go forward.

Jaz---Well, at least you got your first week of work post stay-cay done, and other than the ridiculous "group write up" ---swear, in all my years in business I have NEVER seen that---it's done and you're moving on. And you bet your bippy you KEEP that e-mail. Will make it all the easier to explain things to any potential new employer. There's always a way to frame these things.

You may be out on your date tonight, or tomorrow night? Heh, a difficult ex PLUS teen children makes part of me want to say start throwing the garlic now, Still, although you've come to your conclusion about him, just keep yourself light and flexible in these things. You never know what happens when you actually meet now and then again, if you're open to it.

Trig and Greg ---

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wheeeeeew. Today I finally finished the initial part of a work project that had stymied me for a bit. The beginning is always the hardest---getting that idea down on "a blank piece of paper" and figuring out how you're going to sell it and make it work on budget and on time. Sent it off and hoping for a good response but love that my part is done for a bit here, so I don't have to think about it for awhile.

Did pool work out---water was much cooler and very refreshing, but I was just not in the mode to push myself hard. So I spent my time figuring out a new routine. As much as I love this form of exercise I need to keep changing it up and I had fun figuring out some new moves and how I would incorporate them into the foundation of my "pool jog," how often, how long, and where in the process. Also working on all the many ways to stretch in the water.

Nic, even I'M missing your pool for you. Don't know if you've ever experimented w/water exercise, but man oh man, there are SO MANY things you can do. Do I understand correctly that you're fixing it this summer and it will be back for you next summer?

Totally on plan and happy to report I have re-lassoed that "thinner feelin'" once again. Admit to getting on the scale this am, which I promised myself I wouldn't but I just felt that thinner would show up. And YEP 2 pounds back down.

Remembering now how first time I see a new low, it WILL ALWAYS go up again, maybe a couple of times. But that low was back today and for some reason, it just felt like where I'm really at. 7 pounds down since I got serious about LC again.

NOW I really am going to stay away from the scale for awhile. What I have learned is I don't need to witness all the bounces. Would rather take a couple
weeks off, maybe even a month, and catch up w/myself when there's reason to believe I've really dropped and am not still in the bouncing stage.

holy moly the posts are big to read LOL
love it


one thing hits me is the identity factor for many.

I don't need an identity in the way of a career to outline me.
Or I don't require extra stuff on me to make my life more....how does one say this....exciting, purposeful, involved, or whatever.

Just me here guys

In that I have the type of personality that I just do me. I do what I want, when I want and use up my hours, or don't use up my hours in a day doing anything or I do a ton of things.

I thought about it when we closed the farm and I quit my real job and had my kid at age 43. Especially when I shut down the goat milk soap biz, then I had nothing to do at all mostly in the way of identifying myself as I did XYZ in my life. Then I was just me taking care of the family as many of us do. When I see myself feeling bored my mind doesn't go to having to find a career or stuff to take up my time.....I see me just wanting to travel and move. Change of scenery.

now this isn't anything about following a dream career path someone might want. if that is on your agenda and time is available then by all means everyone should always go for their path in life.

for me I don't have a path anymore to take up my days.
I have no passion to work or to become something in a career, or no passion to become like a certified pilot or scuba diver type thing so I don't have to go become anything LOL

I know many flounder in life not sure which way to go....I was that way til I realized I could just fill my days as I saw fit, with or without stuff in it on a daily basis. I didn't have to push to be anything cause I was fine just doing me as I was. I don't know, I guess my identifying thing about me is I don't need an identity type thing to define me HAHA

EVERYONE will be so different about this this is just me here and how I feel about what is forward for me.

Lori, yea I would have those big cakes delivered also....I hope you guys aren't planning on painting the asphalt with them when ya get there
Very cool your sports chiro is doing so well for you....sounds like you got a handle on this and moving forward in fine fashion.
your grandkid is growing up fast and such a ball player! Brooklyn NY and driving, good luck to ya bet you guys will have a blast!


Nicco, bio mom sounds like a doozey. yikes
enjoy setting up your office in your LV. You can make it all you want and not have to leave the house and get some work done fast without people chatting ya up

I love your DNFTU! So cool! I so get it!!

Blue, I agree in that kids are not adults til a bit older. They need some real life experiences out there to understand some truths about it all. Yea age says they are old enough at 21 to drink, do this and that etc but one hasn't truly lived yet. A few more years under their belts out there dealing with real life situations and a varied amt of other people from all walks of life and they start to get it then they got to learn how to deal with it.

Parents can't fix it all for their kids. Life is gonna smack them just like it did us Kids are more in isolated bubbles nowadays. My kid is in phone land and that life she is checking out is so fake, not real life by any terms and omg I would love to see the expressions on her face when she is older, out and about facing real truths on what she will encounter. I think I still kinda grounded her a bit for real life, we shall see LOL

HI JAZ AND GREG



sinus from storms
got the bowling ball feeling in the head, taking drugs, feeling better
rain into some sun today

have to hit grocery in a bit for a few small things
hubby ran out of bread and rolls and is moaning....and normally I would say YOU go to the store but heck I don't want him to go. bread and then another $150 in crap to boot....nope. I will go and control those grocery costs

need broth
need more shrimp

doing well on limited foods. getting way less hungry now. getting more into the zone. not worrying on scale, just getting thru now til kid hits into school and I can concentrate on 'dieting' a bit and get into a good routine.

went thru closet and other closet I have junk still. 2 more garbage bags of crap gone. stuff I was holding for later.....later? screw that. If I haven't worn it, can't wear it soon, don't like it anymore, gonzo. Gonna do one more purge after this and I will be down to like NO clothes HAHA I don't care one bit.

hubby getting rv today
have to go thru and clean and pack and all that junk which ain't like work to me cause it means we will be heading out soon

change of scenery...oh so what I need right now

great day all

Good Morning!

Oh my......we had such a good time last night. It was good to get out among people for a change. I'm such a home body. Anyway, the get together was in a small room at the back of the pub, but it opens out onto a patio with tables and chairs, so it was nice to be able to spread out. Everyone was in high spirits and treated me as if I was a class mate too. I'm looking forward to tonight.

This morning DH & I have to go pick up the cakes and get them to the venue & then I'll have the rest of the day to just take it easy. I'm running a little slow this morning due to a drink too many last night. I only had 1 "hard" drink and then switched to low carb beer, but I was feeling it till we got home last night and have a fuzzy head this morning. I'm a light weight anymore when it comes to drinking! Plus, I hadn't eaten much yesterday.

Scale gave me a nice low(er) number this morning. My dress for tonight is rather unforgiving, so hoping I have a minimum of bulges on display. Not sure I'll be able to get a picture as this afternoon is going to be hectic as we try to get ready etc. We'll see. DH has another reception to attend after he does his history walk around town so he'll be racing around.

Anyway.......it's going to be a fast & furious day. It's soon time to go pick up those cakes.....good grief.....I hope we get them there in one piece!

Have a great weekend everyone!