Hi Loops. Sorry you're going through this. I remember you from a while back and your dairy-free VLC diet already sounded like no fun. :/
I can relate to the anxiety and ketosis. I don't know how you'd describe your anxiety, but mine is a strange thing - I wouldn't describe it as emotional or over-worrying. My life is actually pretty stress-free these days. It's more like I just can't shut my brain off. Hypomania, maybe. The insomnia is the worst. I have no problem falling asleep, but I'll be wide awake three/four/five hours later with my whole work day/home stuff/THINGS! going through my head endlessly. It's not enough sleep.
I also seem to have the beer belly/IR thing going on. I have skinny arms and legs, and all of the 40th birthday weight gain has been in my midsection. I think my next step is to get a glucometer, but my fasting sugar is normal as is my HbA1C. I really wish there was an insulinometer I could buy. I'd seriously throw a ton of money to crowdsource that one if someone would start it up.
I second the Dr Fung IF thread. Even if the IF doesn't work for you, one thing that might is simply the bone broth. I noticed I had fantastic sleep a lot of the nights after an IF day with lots of broth, then two decent meals later in the evening. I later read that gelatin contains amino acids that are missing (or very low) in muscle meats, and they contribute to making neurotransmitters that are necessary for good sleep.
Or something sciencey like that.
ETA - JLx posted at the same time as me: "The other thing that helps me sleep sometimes is gelatin. It's the glycine, which I've also tried, but I think the gelatin works better." Yeah, that!
Anyway, I have emotional/ED issues with fasting/starving, so I follow Dr Fung's IF guidelines when and only when I feel comfortable doing so, and rule number one for me is that there are no rules. As soon as I'm hungry, I eat - no questions asked. But most days, I'm good until about 3:00 pm. It's amazing how satisfying homemade broth is. It supports my little theory that a lot of hunger comes from lack of nutrients.
It seems to be the best of both worlds for me: ketosis or close to it during the day, when excess energy is helpful for work performance. I'll have a LC meal late afternoon, and for dinner at home I'll usually have something starchy. A side dish of potato, sweet potato, lentil soup, something like that.
Best of luck, and keep us posted.