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  #1   ^
Old Sat, Sep-27-08, 15:06
kathleen24 kathleen24 is offline
Monday came.
Posts: 4,379
 
Plan: my own
Stats: 275/130/155 Female 5'4"
BF:ummm . . . ?
Progress: 121%
Default A new twist on: "I didn't put this on overnight, so . . ."

I've seen several people post that phrase--I'm sure folks here can recite the rest of it in their sleep. And while this is not meant as criticism of those who found it helpful (on the contrary, whatever works, works!), it just never helped me much; in fact, I found it discouraging as a reminder that I had a long journey ahead of me--tramp, tramp, tramp.

But a few days ago I was down in my kitchen puttering away, and had a cognitive re-ordering, a shifting of borders, a new way of seeing the situation. After a few days of consideration, it's still holding water, so I'm here to share it in hopes that it will be useful to someone else. I'm not sure that I will be able to put it into words, but I'll try.

I was thinking ahead about how life will change when I lose weight, remembering some of the fun that I had being more slender, attractive, active, mobile, and the freedom to wear clothes I loved. Good stuff.

Remember the cautions they give plastic surgery patients when they tell them that a new nose job is not going to change your life? Well, in some ways that's true of weight loss, but in other ways, we all know it's not. Life is different when you're obese than it is when you lose weight, or we wouldn't work so hard to change.

You know how when you're overeating, and overweight, and without much more than a dim wish of change? And you wake up in the morning, and have that momentary window of normalcy, then remember, "Oh, yeah, I'm still fat"? Recognizing that you're living life from the sidelines instead of being in the parade? Feeling older than your years? The stares, the comments from strangers, or friends; the feeling of despair when nothing fits? Or on and on.

And you how different it feels, if you've had your weight down, to just be able to pass as normal, to not cringe away from yourself in a mirror, to like getting dressed, to hop out of bed in the morning? To not hurt when you walk? To go up a set of stairs without hauling oneself up the railing? All things that most people take for granted, but we don't, because we know? It's living in the promised land. I have a lot of good memories of being at a lower weight.

When overeating & overweight, those memories bring more pain than pleasure, because they feel so unreachable and unobtainable. I don't know about others, but I tuck those memories away with the clothes that don't fit, and move on.

But the other day, I realized that if I keep doing what I'm doing, and keep losing weight, then it's just a matter of time until I feel that way again.

And it gave me a warm feeling to realize that I was moving back towards that order of circumstances--I felt happy, just a quiet, glowing recognition almost--like knowing that soon you will be seeing someone you love after a long separation, or will be returning to a place that feels like home.

And the thought came to me that I, in fact, AM moving back towards that--it's just a matter of time now. And just like the feeling when you know that a reunion or a return is going to happen, that someone you love is about to walk in the door, and you just keep on doing what you need to do to be ready for it, I felt peace about the timing, and found myself appreciating just being in a state of anticipation.

I felt happy to know that in a matter of months, if I keep on keeping on, my hopes will be realized.

I am really confident that I've mangled this in the saying, but I can tell you that the peace and happiness have lasted, and I hope that this resonates with someone, and that it's contagious.

*CATCH!*
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  #2   ^
Old Sat, Sep-27-08, 19:29
advantagec advantagec is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 717
 
Plan: Protein Power
Stats: 324/283/245 Male 71.5 inches
BF:
Progress: 52%
Location: North Carolina
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by kathleen24
........And it gave me a warm feeling to realize that I was moving back towards that order of circumstances--I felt happy, just a quiet, glowing recognition almost--like knowing that soon you will be seeing someone you love after a long separation, or will be returning to a place that feels like home.....



A few weeks ago I read a book called "The Answer" by John Assaraf and Murray Smith. This book has a business orientation but includes other aspects of life. I am following a process which they call "neural reconditioning". Part of it involves writing a detailed vision of future success, creating affirmations which support that success and then after a short period of meditation, reviewing the vision and affirmations. (For those not familiar with the term "affirmation", it is a statement of something which you aspire to. Examples of affirmations from the book are: "I am very focused and persistent" and "I feel happy and at peace with myself".

What you wrote makes me think of the power of this reconditioning process. I know firsthand that it is possible to use visualization and repetition to work on at least the "mental game" portion of reaching a goal.

The feeling which you describe in the paragraph which I quoted is real to you. Even though the event which evokes the feeling hasn't yet happened in reality, it has happened in your mind. It is hard for me to describe this in a way that doesn't sound hokey, but perhaps the mind doesn't know the difference between reality and a vividly imagined visualization.

Without droning on about personal experiences, I will just say that you can train your mind to visualize success in any kind of endeavor. And when you do that, you will feel a sense of well-being which is very real. And, just maybe, this process will lead to these visualizations becoming your reality.

Powerful stuff.

Last edited by advantagec : Sun, Sep-28-08 at 16:30.
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  #3   ^
Old Sun, Sep-28-08, 01:33
kathleen24 kathleen24 is offline
Monday came.
Posts: 4,379
 
Plan: my own
Stats: 275/130/155 Female 5'4"
BF:ummm . . . ?
Progress: 121%
Default

Yep, that sounds right. I like that.

This is, indeed, a very real sense of well-being. I have a poster I love; bought it for my children's room, but I have it in mine now. It is a painting of a child with seeds and gardening tools, and sunflowers growing in a row behind her, and it says, "Faith is the substance of things hoped for." I don't think of that as what it appears on the surface, a kind of touchy-feely vague nice idea, but rather as an statement of fact, a key to the kingdom, a treasure map, and an attempt to convey a functioning principal of the universe: thoughts are things, they function as a substance that has an impact on the world--at least in ourselves. It's not enough to hope, to wish, but when it moves into the realm of faith--of belief that something is so real that you can shut your eyes and see it, smell it, touch it, taste it, then it is transformed into an actual thing, which has the power to go forth and become reality. Thus faith (belief) is the substance (thing, real stuff) of things that we hope for.

I think that's what we're both saying there. I brought my flower baskets in today because we're getting a hard frost tonight. And I thought, "When I hang these up in the spring, I will be slender again." Before I go to bed tonight, I will think of that, and sleep with that picture in my mind. But tonight I need to go cover the tomatoes. Stay warm and safe tonight, everyone.
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  #4   ^
Old Mon, Sep-29-08, 09:08
advantagec advantagec is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 717
 
Plan: Protein Power
Stats: 324/283/245 Male 71.5 inches
BF:
Progress: 52%
Location: North Carolina
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by kathleen24
....I don't think of that as what it appears on the surface, a kind of touchy-feely vague nice idea, but rather as an statement of fact, a key to the kingdom, a treasure map, and an attempt to convey a functioning principal of the universe: thoughts are things, they function as a substance that has an impact on the world--at least in ourselves. It's not enough to hope, to wish, but when it moves into the realm of faith--of belief that something is so real that you can shut your eyes and see it, smell it, touch it, taste it, then it is transformed into an actual thing, which has the power to go forth and become reality. Thus faith (belief) is the substance (thing, real stuff) of things that we hope for....


That's what I am talking about.

Here is another quote from that book which refers to negative thinking: "Worry is a prayer for what you don't want."
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  #5   ^
Old Mon, Sep-29-08, 09:15
kathleen24 kathleen24 is offline
Monday came.
Posts: 4,379
 
Plan: my own
Stats: 275/130/155 Female 5'4"
BF:ummm . . . ?
Progress: 121%
Default

I knew an old farmer who had his ups and downs, and one day the gas man came to make a delivery, and he had to go tell him that he had no money to pay him. The gas man made the delivery anyway, and told him, "When you worry, you tie the Lord's hands." I remembered him telling me that when I read your post. He shared that with me because I think it was important coinage in his life.
I think we're all getting at the same thing here.
Carpe diem.
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  #6   ^
Old Tue, Sep-30-08, 09:56
gweny70's Avatar
gweny70 gweny70 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 4,319
 
Plan: Figuring it out
Stats: 366/282.2/166 Female 5'6"
BF:YEP/YEP/YEP
Progress: 42%
Default

Wonderful thread Kathleen. I always thoroughly enjoy reading your terrific insights and truly I don't believe it's possible for you to mangle anything...you are much too well written and insightful for that to occur.

Again, Amazing food for thought! Thanks for sharing.
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  #7   ^
Old Mon, Oct-27-08, 14:08
donnaliz67's Avatar
donnaliz67 donnaliz67 is offline
For Real This Time
Posts: 1,383
 
Plan: SB (Sorta Beachy)
Stats: 272/260/165 Female 68 inches (5'8")
BF:
Progress: 11%
Location: Long Island, NY
Default

That's a great way of looking at it Kathleen.
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  #8   ^
Old Wed, Oct-29-08, 18:54
Peaches124's Avatar
Peaches124 Peaches124 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,084
 
Plan: Momentum WW
Stats: 000/000/000 Female 5.7
BF:
Progress: 317%
Default

Hi Kathleen,

I just wanted to come by and say hello and wish you wonderfulness in your continuing journey.
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  #9   ^
Old Thu, Jul-16-09, 12:28
kathleen24 kathleen24 is offline
Monday came.
Posts: 4,379
 
Plan: my own
Stats: 275/130/155 Female 5'4"
BF:ummm . . . ?
Progress: 121%
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by kathleen24
And you how different it feels, if you've had your weight down, to just be able to pass as normal, to not cringe away from yourself in a mirror, to like getting dressed, to hop out of bed in the morning? To not hurt when you walk? To go up a set of stairs without hauling oneself up the railing? All things that most people take for granted, but we don't, because we know? It's living in the promised land. I have a lot of good memories of being at a lower weight.

When overeating & overweight, those memories bring more pain than pleasure, because they feel so unreachable and unobtainable. I don't know about others, but I tuck those memories away with the clothes that don't fit, and move on.

But the other day, I realized that if I keep doing what I'm doing, and keep losing weight, then it's just a matter of time until I feel that way again.

And it gave me a warm feeling to realize that I was moving back towards that order of circumstances--I felt happy, just a quiet, glowing recognition almost--like knowing that soon you will be seeing someone you love after a long separation, or will be returning to a place that feels like home.

And the thought came to me that I, in fact, AM moving back towards that--it's just a matter of time now. And just like the feeling when you know that a reunion or a return is going to happen, that someone you love is about to walk in the door, and you just keep on doing what you need to do to be ready for it, I felt peace about the timing, and found myself appreciating just being in a state of anticipation.



Quote:
Originally Posted by kathleen24

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for."

I brought my flower baskets in today because we're getting a hard frost tonight. And I thought, "When I hang these up in the spring, I will be slender again." Before I go to bed tonight, I will think of that, and sleep with that picture in my mind.


Just found this thread, like unpacking a treasure from an old trunk, and having memories spill out.

I want to say, and hope that I can encourage others starting (or re-starting) on this journey to think of it this way to, that I appreciate the courage that I showed back then. Without that, I would not be here today.

I am posting this, so to speak, from the other side of the looking glass. Sometimes I stand in that same spot in the kitchen, and feel as if I am sending hope through time, back to myself then. (That all sounds very strange, I'm sure.) My flower baskets are blooming wildly now, and while I would not describe myself as slender yet, from the perspective that I was at then, I would have given the moon to feel and move and look as I do now.

This part:
And you how different it feels, if you've had your weight down, to just be able to pass as normal, to not cringe away from yourself in a mirror, to like getting dressed, to hop out of bed in the morning? To not hurt when you walk? To go up a set of stairs without hauling oneself up the railing? All things that most people take for granted, but we don't, because we know? It's living in the promised land.

Just want to mention that I take none of it for granted. Not a day goes by when I don't cherish how this feels, and appreciate the work and time and above all that hopeful act of trust that went into getting me here. Cynicism and giving up are easier. Feel safer. But there really is gold in those hills, fairies under the flowers in the garden. A reason to hope.

Treble hooks into the future. Throw it and pull yourself towards whom you wish to be. Just do today. That's it.

Hope works. Faith is an essential ingredient. Everyday, garden-variety miracles are available, but they come in kit form. You, too, can assemble yours at home using common tools. Lift your ear to the wind, and you will be able to hear yourself whispering hope and possibilities and . . .

Last edited by kathleen24 : Thu, Jul-16-09 at 13:15. Reason: hear not here
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  #10   ^
Old Thu, Jul-16-09, 18:35
gloquilts's Avatar
gloquilts gloquilts is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,911
 
Plan: WW's/ Atkins/George S.
Stats: 317.6/260.4/186 Female 5'7
BF:
Progress: 43%
Location: Michigan
Default

I brought my flower baskets in today because we're getting a hard frost tonight. And I thought, "When I hang these up in the spring, I will be slender again." Before I go to bed tonight, I will think of that, and sleep with that picture in my mind.

Kathleen love the post and all your comments!! I too was looking at some clothes that are many sizes below what I am in but new thoughts.........I wonder how soon I will be in these and looking at what I am wearing now and just not believing I was in them!!

I went out shopping finally and bought 3 new pairs of pants and old blouses that now fit some had tags on them and it was fun! I was 2 sizes down and 1 pair of pants 3 sizes!! I am getting comments I have not heard in years and years that I am getting skinny............well, that is nice but I am still a long, long, way to go............I know I can do this but more I want to do this way of life!
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  #11   ^
Old Wed, Mar-27-19, 07:11
kathleen24 kathleen24 is offline
Monday came.
Posts: 4,379
 
Plan: my own
Stats: 275/130/155 Female 5'4"
BF:ummm . . . ?
Progress: 121%
Default

Ten years later, after a very tough series of events--car accident reduced my mobility, and I regained my weight and more, and finally lost it again. Found this thread, and bumping it. Not much traffic in this forum--maybe everyone is being successful? I hope so--but just wanted to reiterate what was said above--which I'd forgotten--there are fairies in the garden, it feels wonderful to feel wonderful (I'd forgotten about stair railings--I run up stairs now because life is short and I have so much to DO!) and miracles do exist, but they come in kit form--yes to that.
Best wishes to all of you.
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  #12   ^
Old Mon, Apr-01-19, 03:29
Lulumae's Avatar
Lulumae Lulumae is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,084
 
Plan: Atkins, sort of
Stats: 184/157.1/140 Female 5'6
BF:
Progress: 61%
Default

Hi there,
It's good to read this inspirational stuff.
I was pretty successful for three or four years but carb creep set in and now I'm slowly gaining. It's absolutely time to stop the rot. All the gorgeous clothes I bought when I was near goal are too tight and it's really getting me down.
This WOE only works for me if I can make it a WOL (way of life) and not even think about it. If I start to give myself a choice I eventually cave. An ice cream here, some chips there.
So back on the straight and narrow is the only option I have.
It wasn't so hard when I first did it. I just wish I could remember how I managed it.
So inspiration is definitely needed and I'm sure I'll find it here.
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  #13   ^
Old Sun, Apr-07-19, 06:40
barb712's Avatar
barb712 barb712 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,004
 
Plan: Atkins 40
Stats: 240/203/199 Female 5 feet 11 inches
BF:26.8%
Progress: 90%
Location: USA
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If you follow Atkins the way the good doctor intended, going through the different levels and stages, and make it habit over time, you won't ever have to "cave." I have 3/4 cup of CarbSmart vanilla "frozen dairy dessert" (i.e., ice cream) almost every night with an ounce of walnuts or pecans and raspberries. It's my non-guilty pleasure. I'm not a chips person, but pork rinds do the trick if I'm in the mood. Work it, and it works. If you generally like meat, fish, eggs, vegetables and oils and mayo and dressings and butter, well, there you go. Lots to fall back on. Add dairy to the list if that agrees to you. The cravings start to be for fat rather than sweet, but there's always room for sugar-free gelatin or a packet of artificial sweetener in your tea or coffee. Cream is sweet, too. The most important thing to practice is patience. One foot in front of the other, and get right back on it if you stumble.

Best to you!
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  #14   ^
Old Sun, Apr-07-19, 08:45
patriciakr's Avatar
patriciakr patriciakr is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 6,223
 
Plan: CALP with Primal Leanings
Stats: 368/291.2/160 Female 5' 4
BF:toodmnmch
Progress: 37%
Location: In the woods
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by kathleen24
Ten years later, after a very tough series of events--car accident reduced my mobility, and I regained my weight and more, and finally lost it again. Found this thread, and bumping it. Not much traffic in this forum--maybe everyone is being successful? I hope so--but just wanted to reiterate what was said above--which I'd forgotten--there are fairies in the garden, it feels wonderful to feel wonderful (I'd forgotten about stair railings--I run up stairs now because life is short and I have so much to DO!) and miracles do exist, but they come in kit form--yes to that.
Best wishes to all of you.

Thank you for the update. Sorry to hear you had a tough series of events (I had a tough year last year, and as you will see, am in the process of relosing the amount that I regained), but you sound good, and I am happy for you!
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