Sat, Jul-18-09, 07:39
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Senior Member
Posts: 162
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Plan: Primal Blueprint
Stats: 405/350/220
BF:
Progress: 30%
Location: Atlanta
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pet death and meeting
Quote:
Originally Posted by PollyL
I had to put my beloved kitty to sleep this past Saturday. She was only 8. In a nutshell, she had cancer. For all the details, it's in 'Cats Discussion" in the Off-Topic forum. I can't seem to stop crying. I'm so depressed I want to die. I'm not suicidal or anything, I don't have the energy. I'm just shattered, completely wiped out. Sorry to sound so dramatic, but she (and, to a lesser degree, her brother) were my world. I really have no energy to get out there and help someone else, to get my mind off this sadness. I guess I should go to a meeting and share about it, but I don't think I could bear to hear someone try to minimize the sadness of it all. I have been in touch with recovering friends, who were very solicitous while she was sick, but after the "I'm sorry" phase, everybody is unaffected but me. This is the worst experience of my life. I haven't been caring what I eat or weigh, but I have been eating whatever's convenient, mostly SAD fare. Everything tastes sour.
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Three years ago I was one year sober when my dog, 13 years old, became very ill and I knew I would have to put him down. This dog traveled all over the US with me during my geographical cure phase, and I loved him very much - he was always there for me no matter what, even when I was not there for myself. I went to my home group and blurted out at the beginning of the meeting what was going on, cried like a baby, snorted and snotted - I did not care, that is what my home group is for. Several others were also crying and they loved me that day, and I left better than when I went in. We cannot get into thinking that "they" will not understand or that we cannot live with what others in meetings say. We go to meetings to help others, not to help ourselves...that day, I helped a man who had 15 years of sobriety because the next year his 19 y.o. kitty died and he came in and did the same thing I did, and told me that my sharing had helped him to come to the meeting and share his pain. That is God working miracles. let your home group know what is going on. This isolation nonsense contributes to depression, ego buildup, and reliance on old ideas. Let your friends in recovery love you while you need them most.
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