I've had oh so many of these over the years. None of them have been really public or super embarrassing, but the comments from friends and family are the ones that I've really bitterly held on to over the years. And I hate it, because I love to joke around and embrace humor, and they don't realize that their occasional joke or comment about my weight is hurtful to me, they just think we're kidding back and forth.
In fact, it's ironic. Another friend of mine who's always been similar to my size and I were talking the other day about how you can really like a friend or family member for years, and then they make one joke or comment about your weight and your perception of them does a complete 180. It's really not fair to them.
One time I was at the gas station for one of my all too typical 1am junk food runs, and there was some dude (no doubt drunk) and his friend standing behind me. I overheard him say under his breathe "yea, ill take the whole f$%%#ng rack", I assume referring to the amount of stuff I was purchasing.
Well, this made me furious. I was ready to turn around and confront him on his comment, and fully commit to whatever proceeding interaction resulted from that confrontation. I wisely decided to just act as if I hadn't heard him, partially because I wasn't 100% sure of his comment and its meaning, but that entire night I was just festering about this. And ironically, I ate more junk because of it, not less.
After thinking about it, I realized that it wasn't that dude I was mad at, it was me. Sure, he was a dick for saying something. But I was probably purchasing a 12 pack of coke, a full size bag of doritos, a snickers, and a chicken salad sandwich at 1 in the morning.
It seems like it's so easy to invest such emotion and anger towards these people who make comments or jokes, because the person we're really mad it is ourself and it's a lot harder to express that kind of anger inwards.
Another classic - I was out with some friends at a local bar after one of the poker games we have every couple of months. I bump into this distant relative that I barely know -who is, of course drunk- and she says "ugh, what are you doing to yourself?" I am of course mortified and play it off as a joke, but she persists..."do you exercise!?" I continue to joke it off and finally just walk away from her, steaming of course. Again, she's not really wrong, but goes about it in the most tactless ways possible.
I think the hardest part of trying to lose weight, is forgiving ourselves. I'd imagine at some point I'll have to learn to forgive some of the people who've hurt my feelings about my weight over the years. But the relative from the bar, I think she'll be last on my list
But there's no doubt, some of these incidents sure do hurt and can stay with you for years.