hey guys!! greetings from the loony bin here in oklahoma!!!

anyway, i'm ready to move on to the next phase of my weight loss mission-those pesky last thirty pounds...

the trouble is, i'm downright scared to get down to the size i once was. i'm scared of the new lifestyle(which is stupid, because i have been living this way doing atkins for the last six months)i'm scared of what it will be like to be back at a size six and HAPPY...i'm just downright scared. i didn't have a bad expierence or anything when i was that small, like a horrifying expierence like rape or ANYTHING like that, but i'm scared half to death of getting back down there. and i'm scared of the new lifestyle it'll bring me, though it's what i want more than anything...

does anyone have a similar expierence they'd like to share; maybe i can take a flying leap out of the rut i'm in...thanks a million, you guys are the best!! i'll keep my progress posted...

I cannot say that I have experienced fear while lcing but I have gone through many life altering changes. I jumped into these changes feet first. I want to encourage you to do the same.

About five years ago I went from a size 20 to a size 10. It took me 2 years of low-fat dieting and A LOT of exercise to get there. Granted a size 10 is not so sleek as a size 6, but it really did change my life. I was also scared because I really wanted a husband, but I was afraid of the process of finding one. What I found helped was to talk about it. I talked with friends who were in similar situations. I have a great friend who is a therapist, and she said it takes about 2 years for the mind to catch up with the body. I'm not saying that to scare you more, what I'm telling you is that it's NORMAL to be scared. Shedding a lot of weight is a HUGE psychological shift. Be patient with yourself. Express it to your friends or anybody who is supportive and will listen. If you don't have somebody, write in a journal. Just acknowledging the fear really does lessen it. I promise!!!

Good luck in the final stretch!
Take care,
Bonnie

I'm familiar with the feeling. About 13 or 14 years ago, I was in counseling with an NLP trainer/therapist. One of the things I realized was that I was holding on to my weight to keep from having to get into social situations, since I didn't have a lot of resources when it came to dealing with the opposite sex. I dealt with it in part by learning to dance, which gave me a way to meet women in a structured situation ("May I have this dance?").

As a college student, do you have access to any free counseling services? Alternately, you could do what I did and learn to dance. I don't know that it would work as well for a woman as a man -- but it can't hurt!

I guess I'm Ab-normal because I'm not scared......
I'm READY...................BRING IT ON !!!!!!!!!!!!

Pati

*sniff sniff* you guys are great! well, i have decided to take the plunge in losing these last pesky 30 lbs. i've decided to do bill phillips program, because i love weightlifting and i've always wanted to do a serious program like that...SO, here goes! already we have chicken planned for lunch...thanks so much u guys

One thing that might help is that psych studies show that shyness can be UNlearned. If shyness is the problem, you need practice!
Have any men friends who are willing to go to dinner and work on your small talk?
Any girl friends willing to go to parties or social situations and take turns chatting with strangers?

Here's a helpful link:
http://members.aol.com/cybernettr/shyness.html

No one who knows me now believes I USED TO be shy. Now I can go up to anyone and get into a conversation, and part of my job is business mixers, meetings, and speeches. Part of what helped me get over it was working in New York City...you must be assertive there!
But since that option is not available to you, you have to work your way into situations. Part of it is that you've never done it, you don't know what to expect, you never do it, and round and round you go.
Remaking your image is a big boost, and you got a lot to be proud of. So get out there and shine!

Also, here's a little thing that helped a shy friend of mine:

When you look at a bunch of strangers, remember: Everyone here has something to give me, and I have something to give everyone here.

I know what you mean. I wasn't scared, but rather excited. It is so much fun to be able to flirt again. I was always too self conscience to do it when I was heavier.

Change is scary for most of us and going from a size 18 to a 6 is a big change. We don't have our fat to hide under anymore. I am not scared of getting thin ,but I can sympathize with you because I hate change. I know change is needed and is good and healthy but I hate it.
Anyway just take it slow and steady and don't think about it a whole lot and just live one day at a time. You will do fine when you get to a size 6 all your worries will be gone and you will just be this new thin and healthy person that you were ment to be.

Flynnlee:
This is the part of your post that scared me:
"i'm scared of what it will be like to be back at a size six and HAPPY."

I'll never be a size 6 -- I'm just not built that way but I am very happy. Please don't equate size with happiness, or make being a certain size a criterion for happiness. Good for you on the weight lifting -- find other positive things in your life, too. Appreciate your accomplishments and be realistic about your imperfections.

I have always been very shy too, but I have really been working on it and it is getting better.
One thing I did that helped a lot was this..
Practcie on store clerks, waiters, etc...
They don't know you, most like they will never see you again, and they see SO many different types during an average day, they could care less!
So practice looking them right in the eye...smiling..flirting..making small talk. It gets easier the more you do it.

oh, i know a certain size won't make me happy. i gues what i mean was when i was a six the first time around i was extremely depressed and gained at least 60 pounds from a thyroid condition. i don't even REMEMBER what it was like to be smaller--all i know is having been 200lbs in the last couple of years since i came out of the fog!! it's just going to be strange having my old body back but not the burdons that came along with when i was younger...if that makes sense...thanks guys so much for all of the help and personal stories--i have goten back on track today and i'm getting ready to go do my first weight workout!! so here goes...i'll keep u posted

(I haven't read this book in about 10 years, so maybe I shouldn't recommend it, but here goes . . . )

I had an eating disorder when I was in college. As part of my treatment (along with counseling and meds) my therapist recommended a book called Fat is a Feminist Issue. I found it very helpful. The main point (as I remember it) was that many women subconciously find security in being overweight. The weight helped them avoid the fear and uncertainly associated with sexual issues, feeling attractive, etc. Not to say that overweight women don't have sex lives and men won't still leer at them or whatever -- but the women felt that was the case, so it became true for them. The weight was their cover story for avoiding intimacy and a host of other issues.

I was actually just talking about this with someone else on this forum a couple of weeks ago. I'm afraid that I'm starting to sabotage myself and I think I'm going to drag that book out again and read it.

So that may or may not be something you're interested in reading, but I thought I'd throw it out there.

1st let me say, If I ever get to be a size 6 you will read about it in the papers. I will go to Main Street, bend over and kiss my rear on the brown spot. Now, life is getting over many hurdles, but you do sound actually scaredl Fear is an extremely strong emotion and can actually cripple you if not addressed. Find a Therapist and you'll find out what's the real reason you're afraid. It will free you honey. You're too special not to take care of this. There is no shame in asking for help, the shame is not asking for help. Good luck and charge on !!!!!