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Old Fri, Nov-11-11, 10:56
girlbug2's Avatar
girlbug2 girlbug2 is offline
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Posts: 1,091
 
Plan: Ketogenic paleo
Stats: 186/167/125 Female 5'4"
BF:trying to quit
Progress: 31%
Location: So. California
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I started to read this thread from the first page but it quickly became too much for me emotionally...yes I can relate to too many of these posts.

Two things have been a constant since I started gaining weight at the end of college: people (strangers mostly) commenting on my "pregnancy" and my own loved ones making "helpful" remarks that actually hurt more than they help. I think it is strange first of all that somebody would actually walk up to a woman they don't know and remark on something so personal as what they assume to be a pregnancy -- even before I gained weight I never did that to anybody. If I thought a person was pregnant I kept it to myself until that woman publicly confirmed the pregnancy. Isn't that just common courtesy? Maybe not so common apparently!

As for loved ones -- my mom and my dear husband have played the biggest roles in being hurtful about my weight. My mom is well intentioned I am sure, but was making hints and remarks about how I should choose clothes that were more "slimming", coming up next to me and pushing my stomach in as a way to remind me to hold it in so I would look thinner, and I'll never forget the look on her face as she watched me pose for a group photo one year, it was an unguarded moment that certainly she didn't want to show but I saw a look of sheer disappointment as she saw for the first time what I looked like in my nice new outfit; it was unflattering and blousy as a way to hide my big stomach. Seeing her looking like that at me hurt more than she will ever know.

My dh OTOH is himself quite overweight so I think he makes insults and jokes about my weight "all in fun" maybe because he can't deal with his own problems overeating and choosing high carb junk. He does love me and is attracted to me but I really dislike the "big" jokes. It's the pot calling the kettle black.

One thing about the original post is that I have never gotten weird looks or guff from a restaurant when I order my burger "protein style" (In N Out)or "low carb" (Carl's Jr). At other restaurants who don't have the bunless option written into their menu (McDonald's, Burger King, etc), I don't bother ordering anything special because I understand the system is an arranged assembly line and it throws them off to deal with special orders LOL. Plus many of them wouldn't know HOW to make the lettuce-wrapped LC burger option, so what you get is a greasy mess wrapped in paper. In those cases I simply take the bun off myself when I sit down to eat and manage with lots of napkins. Nobody has ever stared at me that I am aware of. I really don't think that for the most part, other customers are interested in what I am eating, and in fact probably never notice other people once they get into their own food. I'm like that myself, so maybe that's a big assumption on my part...

Anyway, great thread. My thanks to the OP for keeping it updated and alive.
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