Hey, do any of you Maintainers who are considered underweight or "skinny" take a lot of abuse from others? I've been maintaining for about three months now and hear I'm way too thin all the time. Someone had me to the point of tears over it this weekend. Everyone says I need to gain weight. I'm barely 5'2", very small boned, wear a Size 1-2. I know that is small but why will people NOT leave me alone about it. I try to explain I have no desire to lose another ounce, so what do I get - jokes and snide comments about "Maintaining". This mostly comes from people I know and love very much. Many of whom have never had a weight problem in their lives. Sometimes it makes me want to just see how fat I can get.

Well I think that most people would question your weight at your height, however that does'nt give them the right to be rude to you! I'm only an inch taller and I also am small boned as they say, and my family would be having a fit if I was anywhere below about 125 - 130.
What does your dr. think about your weight? If you have;nt been since losing perhaps you should it might settle it for you. He could say you are fine for your build, or he may bring some things to your attention, that maybe your family sees, but you don't, which is very common. It might make life easier for you.

Good Luck, Cheers Kathy

Thanks, Kathy. Yes, I have been to the doctor. She said I could stand to gain to about 110 lbs. and it wouldn't hurt me. She subscribes to the old saying, 100 lbs - 1st 5', and 5 lbs./inch over that. Oh well, guess I might as well get used to it.

Good, that sounds like it would be fine for you.
But for me, LOL, I'd be 115 at that rate, nope I like a bit of shape /curve to my body, LOL No doubt I'd end up with two sticks for legs, a flat butt and still have a little tummy blip!

Cheers Kathy

I am 162 cms or about 5 foot 3 and a half inches. I weigh 48.5 when I am not bloated (which I currently am!). That works out to just under 107 pounds. I reckon I look slim in clothes, but without any I still have a tummy.

Most people I know don't say anything. A few have said I could put on a few more kilos (but they are all overweight themselves!), others say "Don't lose anymore!" My best reaction recently was bumping into a friend at the pool. I was wearing a fitted sleeveless top and short shorts. She said I looked fabulous!

I like being at the lower end of my weight range for my height and build (I am border line small to medium build). I think it is what we feel best at that counts.

Rose, you must look almost anorexic. Do you have any fat on you at all? I thought I was skinny at 95 lbs. and 5'2". Its good to hear you can eat extra carbs on occasion and not gain weight. I'm afraid to try it - I know if I had a donut I probably wouldn't stop at one. I would want two and then two tomorrow, etc. Thanks everyone for your replies.

Rose and Anliegh why not start journals? They are a great tool to stay connected here.
Cheers kathy

Hi Anleigh and everyone,
I understand what you mean. I am the lightest person in our TOPS chapter and even though I work hard to maintain my weight between 105 and 115 (goal of 112) most everyone there is telling me I am too thin. I really feel good at about 107 and that was my previous goal, but I increased it 5 pounds to keep from having to be so frustrated in not keeping it at or under 110.

It seems most people in my life, including my family have a weight problem. One sister went on Atkins and reached her goal of 150. I am the lightest of all my sisters and brothers and they think the wind will blow me away.

Good luck in handling the pressure and do what feels best to you.

I have noticed in my daily observations of my local community (we are fatter and more lazy than the State average!) that the larger ladies consider the slim ladies as being skinny or anorexic. In reality their perceptions are rather distorted.

I myself noticed that the women I saw as super, super slim when I was at my maximum weight, don't look so slim now that I am at my present weight. They now look a normal healthy weight.

Hi Anleigh,

In my view, if you’re slender-boned, you should look fine at your present weight. Perhaps, this is an area where my views are subjectively skewed. I’m half Chinese, and that part of my ancestry shows in the form of bearing a naturally very lithe frame. For instance, my father (the Chinese parent) is 5’ 10” and weighed only about 120 lbs as a teenager heading into college. It wasn’t until 10 years later when he finally put on about 25 lbs getting him to about 145 – 150. He never looked anorexic! Matter of fact, during his era, that was considered a pretty normal weight when just about everyone was thin. Even 30 years ago, neither of us would have been characterized as being too thin or thought of as anorexic. It’s only now given this sudden huge shift from normal sized people becoming larger that we live with this discolored notion that we’re somehow underweight and malnourished.

I’ve inherited my father’s trait and therefore cursed/blessed with a very lithe frame. Many people around me think I’m too thin, malnourished, or—my personal favorite—using excessive exercise as a form of bulimia. Truth is that I was always meant to be about 150 lbs even at 5’ 10” and you were meant to be 100 lbs at your height. What is wrong with that? I know there are those who suggest models are excessively thin for the “clothes hanger” effect when wearing clothes. Well, if it means looking better in clothing with a mannequin physique, why not?

Enjoy being slender especially knowing that the world’s fashion industry makes clothing ideally suited to you with your physical attributes in mind. Finally, you’ll look better in that sort of clothing than anyone else.

So, being thin isn’t all that bad, right? LOL

A little tongue in cheek,

Frederick

I think trisharau is on to something. Your relatives are comparing you to the "previous you", and they are probably not used to the change yet. Once your new look becomes "normal" to them, they will probably stop the comments.
The other theory is that you played the role of "the fat one" in your family, and they don't like you changing the status quo. Now maybe they have to make you "the skinny one" to keep the family dynamic going. Not a pleasant thought, but if they are making you cry, it sounds like there is some sort of dysfunction going on.
I hope the first theory is the right one.

Notice how people think it's OK to say you look anorexic or underweight...I wonder how they would feel if you told them they were too fat and needed to lose weight!!!

Lol, Hotchick. While I try not to take it too personally, cuz I know I look very skinny, it is not nice to hear them especially coming from someone I'm close to. That makes me feel very uncomfortable and it makes me feel even worse when they are watching every single thing that goes into my mouth. If I eat cake, they would say "Aren't you worried you are going to get fat from eating that?" in a very sarcastic tone. Wish they wouldn't do that so I can just eat in peace!

Hotchick-- you're totally right! It's not like u go up to people and say, you look fat. why can't people understand that any weight comment, even u look anorexic, is hurtful?

I feel the same way about people watching me eat sometimes-- esp since i eat so much! I can just imagine them thinking to themselves, "i bet she barfs that up"-- which yuck! I would never do! Or, if even if i eat a huge meal and then pass on cake, i can see a weird look on their face. It's so frustrating, i wish people would just let me be happy