I am thinking about seeing a doctor about this one. Everytime I feel good about myself for awhile, I just can't seem to let myself relax and be happy. I will grab and pinch the flab around my lower stomach to remind myself that I still am fat!! WHY can't I let myself be happy??? I usually look really good, I can wear cute clothes, I get compliments all of the time, but I won't let myself accept them anymore. I wasn't having a problem before!!! All of a sudden I see the fat me again!!! I have not gained any weight, but I haven't lost any for a long long time either. Help me please!!!

I wish I could help you but I am going through something really similar. What I can say to you is that the stress you are putting on yourself is definitely not going to help you at all. You have lost A LOT and are pretty close to goal. Your weigth loss is bound to be slower now. Just hang in there and be proud at your accomplishment! You have done so well!

If you feel like you are obsessed with your weight loss, proceed cautiously. If you are anxious or have a lot of anxiety, proceed cautiously. It may not hurt to talk to someone.

It is probably nothing and once you have adjusted to your new appearance, you will be fine. However, if you think there is a problem, it won't hurt to see someone.

At the very least, read the book, "What To Say When You Talk To Yourself" it helped me more than I can express.

(note: I am not a Doctor, nor do I play one on TV. Any and all advice, including the precceeding is intended to be taken as my opinions based on my experiences in life. No warranty is expressed or implied. Advice void in Guam,the Virgin Islands and parts of Khuridstan.)

Ahh sweetie you are not alone. If you think a doc can help go for it but I think you can work on some of that yourself. Start with the negative thinking. Everytime you say something bad about yourself counteract it. If you have some time take a look at my success story. I talk about this very same thing. It's something I'll struggle with for the rest of my life but it has gotten 100 percent better .

I really think it has something with our own inner feelings..may be we've been told we are 'fat' or 'need to just firm up' and that always stays with us. My problem is I used to be 100lbs (I'm 5'8") and I could wear anything and I thought I looked good..now with a little added padding, I feel like I'm fat! I don't know how to change this thinking, I guess it has to be with-in ourselves! Mine thoughts I'm sure are from a verbally abusive person who made told me I was fat even at 100lbs. (Just to make himself feel better.) I don't know if this is the case with you..but look at yourself every day and tell YOU that YOU are perfect and look wonderful! I'll try it too! Maybe we can forget about the extra little pinch of 'life' around our tummies!! lol..If it makes you feel any better, even some of my thin thin thin friends complain of the extra 'life' here or there...I roll my eyes, but they have the same complaints as I do....Keep your chin up!

You know what, shewolf? Brainwashing works. Fat people have been told in a thousand-thousand ways that we are bad people. The message that we are unacceptable is so thoroughly imbedded in every aspect of our culture that it is impossible even to expose them all, much less to counteract them all. In my view, if you want support you might choose to turn to a true Fat Acceptance support group online, rather than a doctor. This is why I think so; I grew up as a black woman just at the time when America was grappling with race issue more than at any time since the Civil War. America was still, at that time, saturated with the message that black people were not at good as whites. And it was impossible to deal with those millions of mini-messages and hidden messages without the support gained from the Black Power and Black Pride movements. Period. We needed to hear "Black is Beautiful." We needed to hear it over and over. We needed to hear "Say it loud, I'm Black and I'm proud," over and over. Once we started hearing those messages, once those messages started showing up in the movies, in songs, in dress, in hairstyles, in parades, in restaurants, in politics, in classrooms, in dolls and toys ... then we could start really believing it, and start really undoing a couple of centuries of damage.

You've been brainwashed into thinking all sorts of bad things about yourself, and brainwashing works. IMHO, you are not going to just talk yourself out of it -- get some support from people who genuinely believe something different. Just google 'fat acceptance' and see what comes up. It doesn't mean you don't want to be thin, or that you'll give up your weight loss efforts. But it may mean that you'll stay sane while you're at it.

My heart and hugs to you. HTH.

I know what you mean. I cannot be happy even though I have lost so much weight. That made me flabby so that just = fat to me -_-. I hate it. I can't get over it and I even hate when my boyfriend touches me because it just seems gross. Terrible.

I feel the same way. But I am working on it, you just have to keep at it. Don't stop eating because of it either. I did that, and I think I messed myself up pretty bad by doing that. So yeah, just to warn you. If you are obsessed with your weight that can happen. Just a warning.

Just keep at it, we are all here to support you.

Hang in there hun...we all know how you feel....

I was surprised to hear that more of you had these feelings. I did have something postitive happen yesterday. I wore some sweatpants to work, a pair that I haven't worn in awhile, and they were actually falling off of my hips. ( a very good friend of mine pulled me aside and told me that she could tell and describe the exact underware that I was wearing ) I must be having some kind of body fat adjustment, because the last time I wore them, I certainly didn't have that problem. As a matter of fact, when I washed them before I would only air dry them because I didn't want them to shrink so they would be too tight, now, I put them in the dryer hoping that they shrink a bit so they don't fall down!! Maybe my mental meltdown was just another adjustment in my entire body! Who knows??

It doesn't seem to matter how much weight i have lost, i can't seem to be satisfied with my body. My original goal weight was 145, but i still looked fat, my next goal was 135, still looked fat, then 130, still fat, then 125, still not happy, then 120, still not satisfied, then 118, haven't got there yet, got to 119 then started sabotaging myself, but i still wasn't satisfied, most days with clothes on i look in the mirror and say "Wow, I can't believe this is me, it is such an amazing transformation," but then i see myself in the buff and it is a different story, i see that my stomach is still flubby, all the skin that used to house fat sort of sagged down around my middle, my chest is saggy, my butt is saggy... everything is saggy and unattractive, Yuck. I still see myself as fat, but everyone tells me i look amazing and i am too skinny and i shouldn't lose anymore weight, but i can't seem to be satisfied, I don't know if i ever will be, and that terrifies me, perhaps that is why i am now sabotaging my success.
So i guess i am in the same boat, i also have a mental problem and need help.

I think this is very common for alot of longterm dieters. Often alots caused by the fact weve set our selves weight goals we havent reached, so even tho we look fine, the way we our. we will feel fat till we reach that number. Then theres when we reach that number, and we feel like weve not got the perfect body wed pictured in our heads.
I think the longer we diet the more crtical we become.
But your definetly not alone!
mia
x

Actually, you may have something there. I heard a theory once that emotions are tied in with hormones, and the hormones are stored in our fat. So maybe when you were burning off the fat, you were releasing those hormones/emotions into your body.

Who knows?