I have recently reached a 60lb loss over the weekend, which I'm excited about...but I've noticed over the last 5 months that my self esteem has sky rocketed.

I know that this should be viewed as a positive thing. But, since my self esteem has boosted, men have been noticing me.

I'm engaged to a man that I've been with for 10 years. I hate to admit that I like getting this outside attention. I know that as long as I don't act on it, I'm fine. But, it sucks...ya know?



Anybody else experiencing this?

Me me!! I just hit 70lb over the weekend myself. I've been getting hit on more and more and I'm actually really enjoying it. And also my attitude is definitely skyrocketing. Over the last few weeks my supervisor at my internship and several friends have noticed that I just seem so much happier. I used to be a really bubbly person, but that goes away when I'm heavier. It's starting to come back now!

Don't worry about enjoying the attention from guys. Enjoy it now, because it gets annoying after awhile. Congratulations on your 60lb loss!!

Me too! Wish my hubby gave me more attention. At least its the same no matter what I weigh lol

Yeah, that's exactly why I enjoy getting hit on so much. If my husband gave me attention, I wouldn't really care about getting hit on at all. lol

Am I the only one who thinks it's pathetic that none of these men would notice you if you were fat - I can do without shallow men hitting on me.

I'm the same person just I come in various packaging

I get what you're saying, but you know... Random guys that you pass in public or whatever... Really all they have to go off of is your physical appearance. I mean, generally speaking I guess it's agree people look physically better when they aren't overweight. So people pay more attention as you get smaller. I don't think that rule should apply to guys who actually know you as a person. If a guy I'd known for years was never attracted to me, then suddenly became interested if I got down to 125lb, I would think that was pretty freaking shallow. One such example (I want to hit my husband): My husband hardly said anything positive about my weight loss or even so much as said I was pretty for quite a long time. Some time around 185 (which happened in the last few weeks), he's all of a sudden showing more interest (barely, but going from nothing to a tiny bit is huge for him). I think that's extremely shallow. I even told him that if I get down to my final goal weight and all of a sudden he wants to have sex on a regular basis (because now it's once a month), I'm going to be REALLY angry because it will be clear what the reason is.

Despite my crappy husband's attitude, there are actually guy friends that I've had for a long time that expressed that they still found me attractive and still hit on me (innocently) when I was 250lb. It's those guys I really respect and appreciate.

So I get what you mean. But as far as random strangers go... They can only go off of what they see because they don't know you.

I'm referring to random guys, not ones I've known before.

My fiance has always given me attention, but he has been all over me since I hit 180 some months back. He says its my attitude that is turning him on.

I totally am with you, miss! I too am a bubbly person, but she comes out more as the weight drops.



My concern is that I am going to find myself attracted back to somebody else....

You might. I think many of us who have been overweight for a significant amount of our adulthood (or since childhood) have a real fear that we'll have no self-control if we're faced with that situation and it can really sabotage our weight loss efforts if we let it. My husband and I have talked about this very thing at length as we both are in the process of weight loss and have both struggled with this fear.

I think it's a pretty common thing to sometimes be attracted to someone other than your s.o .and then I think it's a matter of trusting ourselves to make an informed and adult decision as to how we'll respond.

You aren't powerless. You don't have to act on that attraction if you don't want to. You are perfectly capable of making a decision about that based on your feelings for your fiance, your commitment to your relationship with him, your priorities, etc. You're perfectly capable of making sure that there are things in place to safeguard your relationship if that's what's important to you. Trust yourself.

Thanks MiniMim.

I really appreciate your informative words.


Something I've noticed with myself these last 30 lbs is that an old personality trait is returning...one that I used to have when I was in my teens and at my "ideal" weight of 130lbs.

It's basically being bubbly and flirty. When I was heavier, the last thing I wanted was for people to pay attention to me. But now...I want to be the center of attention.

My fiance and I are going through some issues with our relationship right now (for the last year)...and as of right now, I don't know what our future holds.

So losing the weight, going through this emotional change and having relationship problems is making me crazy!

I know I should probably just keep all these thoughts to myself, but I really have nowhere else to turn. I want to sabatoge myself and start putting weight back on...start feeling low again.

But, that doesn't take care of the problem...just mask it.

Yeah, it's pretty awful for me. I just think about it that they want me and they can't have me. For me, it isn't worth it to be with anyone else. I am with someone who is pretty much 100% compatible with me. He has been around before and after the weight loss.

But I know that these same people probably wouldn't be interested in me if I looked how I did before. It's bittersweet I suppose lol.

Heh, you should be doing back flips and dances of joy for being noticed. People go through their whole lives wishing they would get more attention -- wanting to be noticed. The stuff some folks will do – heck watch any reality TV show or random Youtube video for examples.

I remember when I finally started losing a good solid amount of weight, finally got into some clothes that were actually flattering, the shoes matched, nice hair cut... and all of a sudden I was getting a bit of notice from lovely ladies at the mall or at supermarket and at the office. It’s sad but I remember it like it was yesterday – that gave me such a high and I would think about it and wonder why such notice or “appraisal” from a total stranger somehow felt so damn good. My girlfriend told me I was looking great, my parents told me I was looking great but they are SUPPOSED to tell you this right? You can’t trust them LOL!! Thus the short glance from a stranger sadly means more to us than anything else and sends our heads spinning. Bloody humans and our messed up heads.

You lovely ladies have it good… you actually start dreading too much attention from us lads. No such thing for us… we’ll take whatever we can get. Attention is great but at the end of the day we would hope we go home to the person that we love and loves us back… right? That pushes all the right buttons – so like anything, a healthy balance.

It depends on where the attention is coming from. Unwanted attention. Some people are SO slimy! Maybe men don't have to deal with that lol.

Ugh. Lol. For me, it is kinda messed up. A complete 360. Go from nothing to all of a sudden everything. I don't really want the attention though. It makes me feel awkward.