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  #1   ^
Old Mon, Apr-21-03, 10:04
mystery2u mystery2u is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 204
 
Plan: Adkins
Stats: 248/219.5/150 Female 60
BF:
Progress: 29%
Location: Richmond, Virgina
Default Serious Problem! Can't seem to stop purchasing larger clothes!!

I'm not sure if I'm the only one with this psycological problem with coming to grips with my weight loss. It's so difficult for me to buy smaller clothes. Last week I purchased three pair of pants at different times. I purchased a size 20. I'm in complete denial about my weight loss. All three pants are way to big, but I can't seems to stop. I get to the store and I simply choke up on 16/18. I can't seem to bring myself to purchase the correct size. I'm afraid that they will be too tight. I'm afraid to try them on because I just don't believe I should purchase them. All of my old clothes are 22/24 some 20's. I haven't been in a 18 in so many years I just seem to think it would be a big mistake. I took one pair of the jeans back to the store and got a 18, but they are a little big. I like comfortable clothes. My girlfriend says she's going to shop with me in the future. I'm not sure If I'm doing the right thing by purchasing my correct size. I must be crazy. But this is a serious problem for me. Has anybody experienced this. I know I should be happy about getting smaller and wearing small clothes, but I can't get use to it. I am happier about the weight loss, but I feel comfortable in my big clothes.
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  #2   ^
Old Mon, Apr-21-03, 10:14
liz175 liz175 is offline
Lowcarb since 7/2002
Posts: 5,991
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 360/232/180 Female 5'9"
BF:BMI 53.2/34.3/?
Progress: 71%
Location: U.S.: Mid-Atlantic
Default

I've had the same problem. The old big clothes feel comfortable and I sometimes wear them around the house. I'm still wearing all my old nightgowns, even though they are huge on me (I am down four sizes). I like feeling how big they are. However, I have noticed that when I wear new clothes in the correct size, I get lots of comments about my weight loss. Other people don't see if as much when you are swimming in your clothes -- when you wear something that fits it is quite noticeable this is motivating. My husband keeps pushing me to get more smaller clothes and that does help -- perhaps your girlfriend can do the same thing for you. I also need to look "professional" for work, so that forces me to buy things that fit.
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  #3   ^
Old Mon, Apr-21-03, 10:33
Talon's Avatar
Talon Talon is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,512
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 242/203.5/140 Female 64 inches (5' 4'')
BF:
Progress: 38%
Location: Ohio, USA
Default

I too think is the getting noticed factor. For me, when finally starting wearing appopriate sized clothing - I got alot of comments. I am not used to good comments or compliments so it was hard for me to accept. I just felt plain uncomfortable with the attention.

Could this be the case with you too?
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  #4   ^
Old Mon, Apr-21-03, 13:59
mystery2u mystery2u is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 204
 
Plan: Adkins
Stats: 248/219.5/150 Female 60
BF:
Progress: 29%
Location: Richmond, Virgina
Default

You know you are certainly right. I don't like the attention. Whenever I put on something that "fits" I feel self-conscious and I think people are looking at me. There are these guys at work that notices everything. They make a big deal at noticing how you look and complimenting me on the new look. This makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. I know they mean well, but it pisses me off, because I'm the same individual with or without the weight.

My dear husband and the men in the office tells me that I should purchase smaller and more revealing and fitted clothes.

I just feel safe in my comfortable unnoticeable wear.
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  #5   ^
Old Mon, Apr-21-03, 17:52
liz175 liz175 is offline
Lowcarb since 7/2002
Posts: 5,991
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 360/232/180 Female 5'9"
BF:BMI 53.2/34.3/?
Progress: 71%
Location: U.S.: Mid-Atlantic
Default

I also think that people commenting on the fact that we have lost weight makes us realize that they noticed how big we were before we lost weight. After losing 80 pounds, I get comments all the time. No matter how positive people are, I almost hear this tape running through their heads saying, "Wow you were really fat before." As fat women we just don't want anyone to notice us. If we notice they lost weight, then they also noticed we had gained weight, and we just want to hide. Hiding is easier in large clothes.

However, I think we have to acknowledge this and fight it. If we don't, we are setting ourselves up to gain the weight back again so we feel safe again.
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  #6   ^
Old Tue, Apr-22-03, 04:45
Talon's Avatar
Talon Talon is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,512
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 242/203.5/140 Female 64 inches (5' 4'')
BF:
Progress: 38%
Location: Ohio, USA
Default

Quote:
However, I think we have to acknowledge this and fight it. If we don't, we are setting ourselves up to gain the weight back again so we feel safe again.


Yes! My first time around with Atkins failed not becuase of Atkins, but because of me. I could have looked for mroe recipes - but I didn't, I truly beleive it was because I was not comfortable in my body anymore, I was getting comments. And as a fat person, you want the fewest people to notice you.

THis time I knew people were going to comment - I was prepared for it. And I fought through it. I still get that weird - this-isn't-my body feeling. But since I know what it stems from, I don't let it beat me.
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  #7   ^
Old Tue, Apr-22-03, 05:18
nikkil's Avatar
nikkil nikkil is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 7,989
 
Plan: vegan low-carb
Stats: 252/252/199 Female 64.5 inches
BF:
Progress: 0%
Location: Vancouver Area
Default

I agree with what you've all said, but could there be another side as well? Maybe you're too afraid of failure (you've failed before?) to succeed on the plan, that you'll just gain back, anyway, or never make it to your goal so why get your hopes up by buying smaller clothes?? This is something that I REALLY struggle with--will I or won't I get to goal? I don't look too far into the future because it scares me, so I try to keep my head down and just LC one day at a time. Am I scared of getting to goal or NOT getting to goal. Hmm, maybe it's the same thing you've said, but in a different way...

N.
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  #8   ^
Old Tue, Apr-22-03, 09:06
mystery2u mystery2u is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 204
 
Plan: Adkins
Stats: 248/219.5/150 Female 60
BF:
Progress: 29%
Location: Richmond, Virgina
Default

You are so correct, when you say are we afraid that we can't get to goal. I try not to think to much about it. I am afraid of failing and people noticing it. I am afraid to purchase new clothes and find out 6 months from now it was a waste. I am afraid of losing weight and feeling the same inside. I wish people would get over this weight obsession. STOP MAKING IT A BIG DEAL IF SOMEONE LOSES WEIGHT OR NOT!!! THANKS FOR THE COMPLIMENT, BUT I'M THE SAME PERSON. BEAUTIFUL, SMART, AND SEXY. I just happen to be 40 + lbs smaller and more healthier. It would be nice if we can re-train people to say "you certainly look a lot more healthier" or some other comment other than the weight thing.

Thanks anyway!!!
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  #9   ^
Old Tue, Apr-22-03, 20:00
liz175 liz175 is offline
Lowcarb since 7/2002
Posts: 5,991
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 360/232/180 Female 5'9"
BF:BMI 53.2/34.3/?
Progress: 71%
Location: U.S.: Mid-Atlantic
Default

Quote:
Originally posted by mystery2u
It would be nice if we can re-train people to say "you certainly look a lot more healthier" or some other comment other than the weight thing.


Someone actually said that to me today and I did appreciate it. He said, "You must feel really good -- you've really taken charge of your health in the last year." I liked the focus on my health, rather than on the way I look.

I think you folks are right that we have all failed at dieting so many times that we are afraid of gaining back and that is why we want to stay in the too large clothes. I ordered a pair of jeans from a catalogue a little while ago and when they came I could button them, but they were slightly too tight to be comfortable. I was going to return them, but my husband talked me into keeping them, saying I would shrink into them. Not only did I shrink into them, but now they are too big. I think he had more faith in me than I had in myself.
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  #10   ^
Old Wed, Apr-23-03, 08:00
mystery2u mystery2u is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 204
 
Plan: Adkins
Stats: 248/219.5/150 Female 60
BF:
Progress: 29%
Location: Richmond, Virgina
Default

I really believe that we all have a bigger issue than just being overweight. We have to heal from the inside out. Don't get me wrong I'm not this overly depressed person, who was abused as a child (ha ha). But, being overweight for so many years we tend to mask our true self.

Somtimes we forget how beautiful we are no matter what size we are and for some of us it will take a long time to appreciate our efforts even if it slow in coming. I've been doing adkins for over a year and lost 40 lbs. I'm satisfied with my effort because I know I'm making a life time change. I make mistakes and fall to the temptations of the "majority" of people who make carbs their only source of nutrition. But, I know what works for me so I have to re-commit myself over and over. I'm a work in progress and continue to be reminded that I'm only human. Low carbing is the way to go and it works for me.

Good Luck to all and God help us to appreciate ourselves they way we are today and hope for a better tomorrow.
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  #11   ^
Old Wed, Apr-23-03, 10:58
liz175 liz175 is offline
Lowcarb since 7/2002
Posts: 5,991
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 360/232/180 Female 5'9"
BF:BMI 53.2/34.3/?
Progress: 71%
Location: U.S.: Mid-Atlantic
Default

Mystery2u, you should start a journal so we can all communicate about these issues.
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  #12   ^
Old Thu, Apr-24-03, 08:21
FabMarta's Avatar
FabMarta FabMarta is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 115
 
Plan: Atkins and Sugarbusters
Stats: 237/201.5/170 Female 64 inches
BF:Still not sure...
Progress: 53%
Location: Northern Wisconsin, USA
Talking I got scared!

The last time I was on a diet (the evil WW) I had lost about 40 lbs, nd then I just quit. Why was I afraid to be thin? I don't know. Maybe it was the attention I was getting from men? I just quite once I reached a point where people really started to notice.
Thats not going to happen again! I credit all of you with keeping me on track and knowing I can do it!!!
fm
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  #13   ^
Old Thu, Apr-24-03, 09:49
mystery2u mystery2u is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 204
 
Plan: Adkins
Stats: 248/219.5/150 Female 60
BF:
Progress: 29%
Location: Richmond, Virgina
Default

Fab,


That happened to me once. Lost some weight and was getting attention. I guess we are not use to the attention outside of our families. Some how we are going to have to get accustomed to the added attention.
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  #14   ^
Old Thu, Apr-24-03, 09:53
DarkRose's Avatar
DarkRose DarkRose is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 31
 
Plan: Protein Power
Stats: 305/240/165 Female 66
BF:55%/45%/20%
Progress: 46%
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Default

This is definitely something I'm having trouble dealing with too, even though I'm nowhere near goal. My bf has lost a lot of weight doing this too (over 100 pounds) and he has some similar issues, though possibly for different reasons. He went from wearing men's 48 pants (may have even been higher, not sure) to 32's. He's dang near skinny now, but he has a hard time believing me when I tell him this. The other day someone asked him if he'd been sick (he lost the weight quite quickly, too - guess she figures the only way to lose weight so fast is to have a terminal illness!), and he was very uncomfortable because the person wouldn't leave the issue alone, in front of a bunch of strangers.

My own issues have more to do with perceived emotional and physical safety, I think. I'm in my twenties, and have this desire to go out and buy, well, younger looking clothes (like tight leather pants and cute little revealing tops) and yet at the same time, I don't want anyone to actually notice me wearing them. Argh. And the first time I went out wearing one of the aforementioned cute, revealing tops (well, more so than a men's XXL tshirt) I got hit on by a random creepy guy. Double argh!
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  #15   ^
Old Thu, Apr-24-03, 19:19
FabMarta's Avatar
FabMarta FabMarta is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 115
 
Plan: Atkins and Sugarbusters
Stats: 237/201.5/170 Female 64 inches
BF:Still not sure...
Progress: 53%
Location: Northern Wisconsin, USA
Talking Don't let the creeps get to you!

I know what you mean. But don't let them get to you!
Dress for yourself. Dress however you feel beautiful. Let the rest of the world worry about their looks- be secure in who you are and what you look like!
As for your boyfriend- I have an idea. Look in men's catalogs, and find a picture of a man that is about the same build as he is now. tear it out, bring him the picture and say, "honey, this is how you look now- this is the size you are" I think it is always hard to see yourself in the mirror as others see you. I did this for one of my friends, and she now has the picture on her fridge... just so she knows how she looks to someone else!
Best of luck with everything- and good luck finding cute outfits!
(I find lots at Lane Bryant)
Take care,
fm
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