Lori getting dressed with a bad wing is super hard...I so get that LOL when I broke the ribs I could raise up to put a t-shirt over my head....everything I wore was button down shirts for a very very long time. Heal up fast girl, March 14 is coming fast.
Jaz, just take your time, do your job, collect that paycheck and relax. Like ya said, put the medical stuff out in front, let everyone know you are helping someone medically. It sways the mind knowing you are helping someone with med troubles when 'other's see ya' and think about doing something to ya
Smart to down the wine, I would also. You just need time to know your next move....relax and take that time to know that move that will help ya in your career vs. what will kill ya if you walk away fast.
so get ya on older parents. mom is turning 91 on March 16 and Tony's mom will be 79 I think in May. My mom is super duper way healthier and doing great vs. his mom...who knows in a way but her being diabetic and eating sugar all day and insulin is killing her now literally. My mom is just chugging along LOL
It is what it is I guess
Blue you are on your own. Girl I know you are loving this alone time. Alone time is a required thing in life from your partner every now and then. Heck I can't get rid of PorkChop enough these days HAHA
ok ya'll are ya ready for this! Long post coming. I went insane literally HAHA
Hog wilder at its worst here.
I came home from moms. All good on that, hubby working on barn roof. He needed help. I was hungry, miserable knowing like 7b days of f'ing rain is coming in on us (even the weather people are upset over it on the tv LOL) and he needs help. Down I go....up on the ladder very high, he on another, while I hold 2X6 posts up at arms length above my head while he nails it all into the roofline. omg guys. I have no power left for crap like this. I never had good arm power, now I know I DON'T have any more left in me after all the yrs of hard work on the farm. I am mush now. So the PorkChop is taking is slow azz time as usual and I am telling him to just put a damn nail into it so I don't have to worry and get this act moving along but NOOOOoooo…..so I did the hard work I had to do and misty rain was coming so we eventually called it done for now. A lot more to handle on the roof, tin to go up, like 10 rafter 1X4s to nail up before tin etc....yea not a small job at all, everything is rotten up there. ugh. 30 yrs will do that to wood
So I come in while he is putting everything up.
I make raspberry sf punch crap and slam it with rum. knocked down 3 big ones fast. very fast. I started to get my anxiety on weather, cabin fever, money things and -----you all know this---when it ALL hits ya at one time. The rum drinks did not help me at all LOL again, you know where this is going now....
what to eat? nothing? small amt of shrimp? maybe a slim jim to hold me...………...the BIG F IT came out in FULL force.
I went around the kitchen and pantry and freezer and more eating everything I could get my hands on. Literally.
But the kicker to this whole thing...…….I had nothing I liked or loved from before.
I ate 'their' crap they like and I can kinda sometimes like and mostly hate.
Yea, I spent my hog wilder on crap food point blank.
Handful cheddar popcorn. omg junk
then to 3 rice crispy treats from kids pantry....yea they sucked but I could eat those
2 packs....of little 2 pack oreo cookes. yuk
2 slim jims
Hit freezer and stuck in oven...those nasty breaded shrimp things they like...put the WHOLE pack in and ate them up when they were done. OMG my tummy on that one.
And then, I hit handful of BBQ chips. OMG I hate those to the max but I didn't have anything I like. I avoided a ton of snacks I despise but almost at those also.
but I did grab more crap...handful skittles...omg yuk....handful of sun chips I despise, handful of Funonions….I mean what the hell are those nasty things but I ate a few again LOL It was horrible not finding MY snacks in this house I wanted so bad. But in a good way I am glad my stuff WAS NOT here to 'enjoy'....I am glad this was a 'bad experience' and not a taste changer back to things I love and adore.
and after this grazing thru the house I was still starving.
Then I thought....my gut hurts...I feel horrible...what CAN I eat that won't kill me LOL
I had tuna and mayo on toasted cheese melba toast (diet food ya know for me in the old days)
So I then went off and watched tv for a while scrolling thru the insanity of that crap of Netflix, Prime and all my free channels and NOT one show cause my eye at all...…...so my mind went to food.
I fried up 2 Cajun pork chops...could only eat one.
I then hit hubby's stash of candy. A few choc covered almonds and a few of his choc covered cherries
at this point...my gut was in very bad mode.
I just wanted to stick my finger down my throat and puke it all up but I didn't cause I started going into guilt, misery, pity mode for myself.
I think I had some kind of breakdown yesterday and my drinks put me over the top LOL
I am fine today. You know, back in that zone of, well ya did it, who cares at this point and my gut this morning is just horrible.
So no drinking like that again which I think made me slide straight into all this but my anxiety was wired up SO high I had to let loose in some fashion but it was ALL out of control.
but I know one thing, hell I could have done worse shit in my life yesterday then have a hog wilder
Losing one's mind can mean many bad things, if I put on more fat, well I hurt myself and not others I guess??
it is what it is
today is a new day and I have to just go with those stupid sayings that makes one want to somehow better themselves for the new day coming.
I think my mind is literally diet abused in some way. I can't get a grip on it all on how to live life in the zone and yet make it all work. I have to find my way fast now and hit into a plan that works long term....who in the hell has found that? Anyone? Any takers on that? Heeeheee……
well it felt wonderful to chat it out
to let it go
let it fly off the mind but my body is so sick and bloated and icky that I do remember physically why I eat the zero carb way I do.
days and days to unload this bad I did.
but days will go as they always do so best I can do is the best I can on this new day
sorry for the long crazy rant. winter and anxiety and more does this to me every now and then
great day all