I am beyond elated for you!
So post some pics!!! I wanna see the hot momma in the brazilian bikini so I can dream and live vicariously through you!

(I would never...I repeat...NEVER...post pics of myself in a bikini. Well.....'never say never'....maybe after I get my 'work' done, then I will do that one day!)

Post pictures!!! Are you kidding? I've just let the dog see me at this point! I know I will let my man see me, but I'm not sure I will ever get up the nerve to wear this stuff out in public!!! Remember, I am a SOBER woman! It's not like I can have a margarita to create false confidence.

Gotta go...my wonderful man just drove up and I want to greet him at the door.
Sara<><

Sara,
You are a hoot! Good for you on the bikini ... Brazilian, no less. You know what comes before that doncha? The Brazilian hot wax treatment!! We have a wax place in town called the Screaming Peach. Nuff said.

Have a great day!
Hugs, Cricket

Cricket,
I am in a SMALL southern town. These people do not was "those" areas. Besides....did you read about my hair tech accidentally waxing off a huge portion of my eyebrow. The whole story is in the Have you noticed thread, but let me just say that it makes me realize just how vulnerable we all are to people with hot wax!!!!

However, I did get a little help from my man the other day with a very safe Conair ladies' electric razor. I figure after he was able to handle helping me following this surgery---especially those horribly disgusting drains, I can trust him on hair removal. He has just become so multi-talented.

This weekend we will be traveling to GA to see My Sweet Mama and Daddy. We are planning on stopping over for a night near Atlanta. I plan to PACK a bathing suit. I'm not making ANY promises about wearing it to the pool.....maybe we can set an alarm and go out in the middle of night. I am just saying, "We'll see."
Sara<><

LOL!! I spent 13 years in a TINY (pop. 206) town in Texas ... don't I know it! They never even had a school dance until I got there. Everything is scandalous there (heck, for the first few years we lived there, everyone had party lines on their phones ... it was a HUGE deal when we all got our own private phone lines! Talk about everyone knowing everyone's business ... you couldn't even afford to have your 'own business'!! ) Do they know about your surgery, or are you just going to wow them when you go back to school??

I hear exactly what you ar esaying ... several years ago I had a BR, and I couldn't even LOOK at myself for weeks - while DH changed the bandages every day and did what he had to. I don't know how he did it - he could barely even change poopy diapers when the kids were little. He said 'you do what you have to do', which really amazed me because he has never been that kind of guy. How is the scarring on your surgery?

Well, hope you enjoy your trip to see your parents. And maybe - just maybe - you'll get a chance to use that bikini during a midnight romp in the pool. It would be something, wouldn't it?? Have a great weekend!

Hugs, Cricket

Phew, busy this morning getting all of my animals ready for our trip. Scout the parrot and James Bond the chameleon are off to the exotic vets for boarding.....along with their paraphernalia. Stella Belle will go into boarding tomorrow. The fish, hermit crabs, and frogs all have enough food and water to last until we get back. I'll start working on packing myself next.

Cricket, my scars are now getting to the stage where they are closed enough to begin using Mederma. My belly button is still red and scabby. Not pretty!

I did end up telling people at work about my surgery...especially since I was not able to go to a Professional Development training session that the rest of them attended. It took me about 9 months to decide whether I wanted to be secretive with the surgery. I came to grips with it and decided that I wasn't going to be embarrassed or ashamed. Here is what caused the change.

About a month before surgery, my wonderful man and I went to New Orleans for Jazzfest. This is a trip we used to make annually. We have not been back since I became sober. We also haven't seen the city since Katrina. I didn't push my luck. We did not stay in the French Quarter as we always did. We stayed in a hotel about 45 minutes away and just commuted in for 2 days at Jazzfest. We did drive around a bit to see how things are going after Katrina.(There is evidence of rebuilding, but seeing the devastation was sooo sad.)

As we drove into New Orleans proper, a wave of memory came over me. I had the exact feeling that I used to feel as we came in for one of our excursions. I remember feeling such disappointment at being fat and unhappy. I felt an urgency to numb that sensation. I was never settled down until I had that first drink (a potent Jimmy's Perfect Margarita, no less). After that I would numb my sad feelings until ALL my inhibitions were gone. (Let's just say I have a he!! of a bead collection!)

For the first time in my life I realized just how important the desire to be thin was for me. AND I didn't judge it as I've always done. Until that moment I pushed the importance of that dream down as less than worthy--narcissistic and shallow. We are supposed to spend our lives giving to others and being "deeper" people than the superficial "pretty" people. This time I just noted the priority of the dream. It is within me and has been my whole life. I deeply want to be thin and attractive. That desire is gonna be there regardless of how "worthy" it is....judging my deep desire created a HUGE discrepancy within me. It caused me to create my conflicts. I kept getting in my own way. Self-sabotage. Self hatred. And, at it's worst the darkest levels of depression (I planned suicide twice) and self abuse through food and alcohol....Russian Roulette for a person with type 1 diabetes.

That was an epiphany for me. That was the moment I stopped judging myself for my dream. So I want to be thin. It makes sense to me....living as a princess is fabulous fun!!!! But it certainly isn't ALL that I am. I am a giving wife, mother, teacher, daughter, sister, friend, community and church member. I am a deep appreciator of children and animals (sometimes the same thing!) and spend a great deal of time showing love to them. I am a reader and a writer. I am spiritual. M point is that I have stopped judging my desire to be thin and have accepted it. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed anymore.

The irony (paradox) is that as soon as I begin sharing this information, people began expressing their desires...and we have a lot of them in common. People on this forum and in my 3D life have been so kind and supportive. I am sharing my joy and feeling it come back to me. Eliminating the discrepancy within me of what I was wanting and whether that was worthwhile has also eliminated a lot of fear. It has helped me grow closer to my higher power and filled me with gratitude.

I want to take this time to thank those of you who read this thread. I do a lot of joking...that is just my nature. But I am very serious underneath a lot of my words. I cannot express how much your words have helped me heal...both from the surgery, from the self-judgement, and recently from some pain I have felt as I've had to make some changes in my support system. Thank you for allowing me to come here and gain the kind of support that nourishes me.
Peace,
Sara<><

I am pretty dang swollen this afternoon. I'll bet it from getting back to my walking routine. I've read that this is common...and that swelling episodes can last at least a year.

I'm off to see the folks. Be back Friday.
Sara<><

Hey Princess!
You should be back by now ... hope you had a great visit with your parents. That was one powerful post that you left us with - I'm still turning it over in my mind (which means that it spoke to me on some level, but not an obvious one). You have the amazing talent of putting into words things that we all feel but have a hard time verbalizing.

Hope you are doing well and feeling good. Didja get to wear that bikini?! Well, whenever you get this .... Welcome Home!

Hugs, Cricket

Hey Cricket and others,
I am back. This was a wonderful visit with my parents. My mother has been blind since her early 30's, but now my father is legally blind as well (macular degeneration). They are aging in body, but still strong in spirit. They are truly an inspiration. We did a LOT of talking and "visiting" as we say in the south. I probably will not get to see them again until November. My Sweet Mama and I have good phone visits, but it was important that I make it home this summer.

I am taking it easy this weekend. The traveling caused some swelling and made me stiff. I have my 6 weeks check-up with my plastic surgeon tomorrow so I will let y'all know how that goes. I do need to tell y'all that shopping without a big belly---or the loose skin--was a totally foreign experience!!! Buying skirts and dresses that lay flat against my torso is something I never imagined I could do. I bought capri britches on sale, but that was a little trickier. Due to the swelling I fluctuate between a 6 and 8 right now. I figured I would go with the 8 and wear a belt so I could tighten and loosen as the day goes on.

I have about 3 weeks before school starts. That means this week I have to begin working in my classroom. I am going to get my wonderful man to come in and help me move the heavy stuff, etc. (Yes, I will reward him!)

I've been reading up on the swelling that I am having. It turns out that some people continue to have it even a year after surgery. I do not have too much, but it does make for a tight feeling across my abdomen.

Anyway, I did write a heavy post before I left. The epiphany that I experienced felt like a blessing from God. I'm not one to think we have to find every deep seeded cause for our food troubles. Sometimes we just have to get over whatever baggage is in our past and stick with the day-by-day abstinence. But, for me that one was necessary. Judging my dream as unworthy contributed to my feelings of being worthless. It took the wind out of my sails.
Later,
Sara<><

I meet with plastic surgeon today. I will post what he advises at this stage of my recovery. This week I will be getting back into my classroom to prepare the room for the new school year. We will see if I have much swelling. A weekend in has reduced the swelling from my trip. I am not stiff at all this morning.
Later,
Sara<><

I posted the following paragraph in the Java thread and it made me realize how long it has been since I've given an update over here:
My weekend was relaxing and stressless. AND, my wonderful man has begun to rank my Brazilian bikinis. (Venus swimwear) Y'all may remember that I determined that my surgeon cut my scars in a Brazilian manner instead of the traditional bikini line. I am so glad. This goes with my body. I'm sure that is why he did it....it would remove the skin, etc. in the way it would give the best results. I'm sure fashion was not part of his decision. But, it has worked out so well for me. It lengthens my legs (I'm 5'4") and creates a waist on my straight-waist-slimmed-hip torso. Princess discoveries, don't cha know. Anyway, I bought 4 Brazilian bikinis while they were on sale. The fit turned out great, and the quality of the suits is wonderful. It blows my mind that I can actually relax on the beach now. And just imagine that I am doing this in a bikini!! Will wonders never cease!!

Back to today. I guess that experience says what I'm going through now. Pretty cool, huh. I do still have swelling everyday in my lower ab...especially right above my hoo ha. My belly button still isn't pretty. I am still numb in areas. BUT...I have no pain...not even those shooting nerve ending pains I had on my right hip.

I have grown to realize that I have a fabulous butt now. I never thought much about my butt. It wasn't really a problem area so my eyes and brain always honed in on the ugly parts. The lipectomy lifted my rumpus....and there I was not even knowing my ass was literally draggin' Anyway, I just wanted to inform that this type of surgery does lift the hiney.

So now I am getting ready for the final phase in my weight loss process. I have a lot of loose skin under my chin and around my neck. If you look at my before pictures you will see that I had a frog neck. Now mind you that I adore frogs...have 4 as pets...but it isn't a good look on a human. I know if the loose skin is annoying me at 48 it is gonna get worse as I age. My Sweet Mama told me something funny, yet sage, one day. She just popped out of the blue with "Sara, enjoy your neck." Say what?! She then explained that the necks of our youth change a LOT as we age.

Anyway, when I went for my original consultation I asked if I could have an abdominoplasty and a neck lift at the same time. After the exam, my surgeon told me I would be happier with a belt lipectomy ... and that we would address the neck later. So, he has now explained that he will need to combine the neck with a lower face lift to make it look right. The procedure will be done in his office instead of a hospital and will not require hospitalization. I will go for a final consult and final check-up on my lipectomy in October. My "face lift" (I'm not used to thinking of it that way yet) will be the last Friday before Christmas. This will give me the Christmas holidays to heal enough not to frighten little children.

I don't plan on telling anyone other than my very closest friends and y'all about this one. I will tell my family after the fact. There is no reason to make this Christmas all about me...and give them things to worry about. If I can't cover my swelling/bruising etc. enough with make-up for returning to work, I'll think of something. I just know there will be those that think I am becoming a plastic surgery junkie. I'm really not. I am, however, transforming my body from a fat woman to a thin (not skinny) woman. This is about quality of life for me...not about pleasing others.

Fortunately, my wonderful man totally gets what I'm saying/doing and is tremendously supportive. Our relationship is the most exciting it has ever been. The funniest thing is that he makes a new "face" at me. I have known this man since he was 17...I know his expressions. This one is new. He actually places his top teeth behind his bottom teeth. Huh? That is what I said when I first noticed it. He says it means he is seeing/having a "guy" response (i.e. sexual) to me now. Oooo la la!
Sara<><

I think that all the changes you are making are awesome!
It's obvious that you feel so much better about yourself and now the outside of your body matches the real inner you!

You're definitely not a plastic surgery junkie at this point. I think you're just making everything match up. You go girl!

Sarar, my friend just lost massive amounts of weight, and a few weeks ago had the belt lipectomy to remove the skin...over 15 lbs of extra skin!!!

She mentioned the same thing about her butt. She never paid too much attention to it before, but now that it's done, she realzed how bad it looked before. She looks great, and is really happy she did it. She's only a few weeks out, so she is still dealing with recovery too.

She also had her arms done, and will be going back for her thighs at some point. I dont consider her or you a plastic junky. You are finishing off your weight loss journey, imo.

Really?? honestly?? hmm am I the only obsessed with how my butt looks in this and how my butt looks in that, I gaze at my butt in the mirror for ages before each bath / shower checking it out

OMG!!!! I totally do that too!!!!! Bf has always teased me about it. (Past bf's have too.) How funny!

Thank you for sharing your experiences. It really is insightful and helpful for the rest of us. I'm glad you are enjoying the summer and RELAXING on the beach! What a treat!