Singin the sad song of obesity. I don't think of myself as obese then I get a picture from my last cookout developed and see my butt taking up half the bench and my arms folded...and not over themselves but folded over my elbow....ick. So........Whats the deal here? Have I got some kind of "opposite-of-anorexia" disease or what? Whats the skinny on skinny these days?!?

Zoot

I'm the same. I'm an athletic 25 year old, 125 lbs and cute...Then I catch a glimpse of myself in a shop window and I see this strange, fat, 53 year old man looking back.

Strange isn't it

Robert

Luckily, I AM the svelte goddess I see before me!

I think that a lot of people have a different perception of themselves than what they see...especially if you see yourself in a picture or video. I hate seeing myself in windows when I walk around campus. Helloooooo bubble butt. *sigh*

The picture in my head has never matched my real image! But at least when I look in the store windows now, I do see less stomach . As for thinking and feeling a lot younger than I am now, now way I want to stop that one. Even if my hip hurts when I stand up, and my eyesight isn't what it use to be!

Speaking from someone who does photography on a regular basis, i have to reassure you guys - it is all about the angles!! I have a best friend who can't weigh anymore than 125lbs (and tall!) but if you take her picture from the wrong angle - even she can look heavy!!! I don't know what it is about film, but it can often flatten out people. Some people are just not as photogenic, or more often - the photographer doesn't understand looking for the shot that makes EVERYONE in the picture look their best!! Try not to be too discouraged, YOU ARE ALL HOT BABES!! believe it!

"It is all about the angles!! ... YOU ARE ALL HOT BABES!!"

Heh...I think that may be pushing reality a little bit.

I second that, I definately am NOT HOT! But hopefully I will be!

"It is all about the angles!! ... YOU ARE ALL HOT BABES!!"




I don't think he is pushing it at all Even if I am "only im my own mind" then I'm happy It's when I less than hot, OK, even less than warm that I let my body run down hill. They may be rose color glasses, but you got to love a rosy world

Well there is a bit of an internal war going on here. I have a very enthusiastic BF who tells me all the time how hot I am. I also know that having a positive self-image is supposed to be important to progress. So yeah! We're great just the way we are! Rah rah rah!

However...there's that image of me in the window. There's the size 18 jeans that don't fit anymore. There's the hideous swimsuit I own with the attached shorts on the bottom because I'm unwilling to show my derriere to the world at this point.

Yeah, I got some dissonance goin'.

Fake it till ya make it, girlfriend. Act like that size ___ you are wanting to be and you'll get there soon enough.

Exactly! I understand what it is like to not like yourself. But i can't tell you the times that i have been like 'i hate myself at 175, i wish i was 165'... and then all of a sudden, i am 200lbs, and wondering why i just didn't appreciate myself at 175?? Be proud of the 5lbs you have lost - that is 5lbs closer than you were before. You may not be content with your mirror image yet - but if you give yourself a little bit of love (as in you like your lips, legs, hair, whatever) then this process is just a little bit easier! Your boyfriend thinks you are a goddess - so start to believe him!! Maybe you should take up bellydancing, i swear - it has really improved my self esteem. You really begin to see your body in a new, more respectful way

Hi all,
the ongoing saga.. society also pushes this "barbie" look, and it seems like everyone you see on tv has fake body parts..

I think it really is about loving ourselves inside out first.. and attitude... if you feel hot, then you act hot...right? ( believe me.. I am trying to convice myself of this too...) but its like moods. You know when you are in a good mood~ you see everyone else in a good way, you see the world as great. But in a bad mood, it is easy to notice all the other idiots, and people that irritate you.

The beauty of this forum is that we get to share with people who are bigger, smaller, taller, shorter, etc than ourselves and hopefully we can keep helping to support each other in just accepting ourselves for where we are at in life. Love it while ya got it...!

j

That I despise my appearance does not mean that I despise myself. It is far too easy to equate appearance with the sum total of a person's worth, when it is really just one attribute among many. Our society - and virtually every society, past, present, and almost certainly future - makes it easy to fall into this trap. But falling prey to society's twisted values is a choice we make.

Just as it is not good for someone that's beautiful to think they should be treated special just because they are beautiful, and just as it is not good for someone that is ugly to hate themselves just for being ugly, I also believe that it is not good for people to adopt the, "I'm beautiful however I look." attitude because it is nothing more than a continuation of the process of equating appearance with worth.

Should someone who can't carry a tune to save their life assert that everyone has a lovely signing voice, themselves included?

Should someone that can't play basketball tell themselves that, deep down, everyone is a star athlete?

Denying reality doesn't change it!

I think the most valuable lesson I have learned in my entire life is to try to truly live by that corny old prayer:

Grant me the courage the change that which I can, the serenity to accept that which I cannot, and the wisdom to tell the difference.

I've never been handsome and never will be handsome. That's the way it is. Getting depressed about it and wallowing in self-hate about it is not going to change that and is therefore a waste of my time.

I can change my weight and my appearance for the better and am doing so-so in those attempts. I try to find the courage to do better. That fact that I have not done better in the past is regrettable, but is also one of the things that I can not change.

I am practically bald. I would like to have a full head of hair. I don't. But having a hairy head or not has nothing to do with who I am - no matter what all the hair-growth commercials claim. I have no need or desire to spend lots of money, time, and effort trying to regain a bunch of hair on my scalp in order to improve my self-confidence. It won't work, because my self-worth has nothing to do with how much hair is up there. If there are people who want to think less of me because I have little hair, that's their problem. It tells me far more about them than it tells me about myself.

Well said, wbahn! I couldn't agree more with every word you've said.

Karen D.