What does everyone think about the "Big is beautiful" movement. Don't get me wrong, I think that everyone should have a good image of themselves and sense of self-worth no matter what their size. Nor do we all have to be 130 lbs. But accept yourself at any weight bothers me. With so much evidence about how unhealthy it is, this just seems like a plain bad idea and it might keep people from trying to get healthier.

I have a friend who is 450 lbs. She assures me over and over that she loves herself and finds herself sexy. But now she can hardly fit in a car or leave her house and her weight keeps going up while she loves herself.

I talked to her about Atkins and her answer was (not surprisingly) "that's unhealthy". Well how healthy is it to be 450 lbs????

I thinks this "Big is beautiful" movement is bad news. You can love yourself and still try to do something about your weight and your health.

Squid

I think it's kind of a double-edged sword. Just as I don't want someone telling me what I'm doing is wrong or unhealthy, I don't think it's necessarily the "right" thing to do to tell someone that their chosen way of life is wrong. You would have to have lived in a cave for the last five years to not hear some sort of program or report on how obesity is unhealthy, so I don't think giving unsolicited advice or commentary is going to make someone suddenly change. More likely, it will make him or her defensive.

However, I think that, oftentimes, the "Big is Beautiful" people or the Fat Acceptance groups are using the "big is beautiful" argument because they've really resigned themselves to being overweight. I'm not aware of any cases where someone has purposely made themselves obese because they think that being fat is a benchmark of beauty.

I agree, self confidence no matter what your physical appearance is vital. However, many times the "big is beautiful" argument feels/sounds more like forced self confidence.

When I used to call myself a BBW, I know I didn't really mean it. Besides, I think that not having knee pain, being able to walk up a flight of stairs without huffing and puffing, not being forced to by dowdy clothes at outrageously priced specialty stores and not being afraid I'm going to have a heart attack at any moment are much more beautiful.

Yes, good point. I think it's very sad.



Well put. I guess that's what I was really trying to say.

Congrats on getting out of the morbidly obese category!!!

Squid

check out my new posted topic AHHHHRRRGGGGGG! I have always had a bit of a problem with the fat is beautiful thing. . .even when I was bigger. . .I mean how much is too much. . .there was a guy 800+ pounds on TV today. . .and a boy of 7 who weighs more than me. But then there is the other side saying. . .well that Atkins is bad for you. . .so people think they are healthier with what they are doing. Meanwhile they are eatting crap and lots of it. On the one hand I think they pack people too tightly into airplanes for even regularly sized people. So to make people have to buy two seats or ask for a seat belt extension (I once held my seat belt closed so the stewardess did not see it would not buckle. . .now that can't be safe either) is wrong. But by not addressing the real issue. . .the size of America will continue to be a weighty issue. redawn

I am going to Disagree with you both adamently!!! I think that I am Beautiful as I am! I think that we have to understand that ever one's is different in their own skin. If someone is heavy and healthy then they are fine as they are. Especially in a society that keeps lowering what the "normal" size is. I am doing this because I want more enery and to feel better. But even when I get to my goal weight I will still be seen as "FAT".

Some people wear their weight very well....and they still look sexy. But for me at 185, I felt and saw myself as someone who was twice that. I have a friend who is about 300, she's down 30pds doing L.A. weight loss. She thinks she is the bomb. SHe is shaped very differently than I am as well. She has a "small waist" if that makes any sense, seeing as though she weighs so much. But her proprtions give her a very shapely frame given her size. My weight goes straight to my back and stomach first. For the kind of frame I have, I have to stay smaller otherwise I look a mess. But on the BBW thing, my friend thinks she is the finest thing ever and personally for me I don't see it. It's like Tony Robbins said, "you only feel rewarded in life when you've overcome an obstacle or a challenge". THis weightloss thing is my challenge. It's about taking control of your life and the whole BBW thing is another cop out to keep us at mediocrity. You shouldn't constantly beat up on yourself about yourself but the BBW thing is not a healthy mindset. Just be a beautiful woman. I see people who have lost weight and there is just a whole new person that was underneath all of that weight. Those pounds represent much more than weight. It's undiscipline,stress,worry,depression, self-pity, or anything else and when that's shed, a whole new person emerges. When I see success pics, I know that that person loved themselves enough to make a change. I'll get off my soap box now! Love-
A Beautiful Woman

I think that everyone is beautiful, my concern is that some people who take part of the "Big is beautiful" movement use it as an excuse to eat whatever they want.
Here's an example, a friend of mine struggled with her weight for years starving herself to try to be thin and was never thin no matter how hard she tried, she wasn't huge but she was chubby. One day she decided that she'd had enough and joined her own Big is beautiful movement, she used it as an excuse to eat, and eat & eat & eat. Last time I saw her she was well over 300 lbs, she's only 5'2". She said that god gave her fat genes and that she'd stop fighting them. BUT this now gave her the excuse to eat anything anytime anywhere, and she does, she has now the worst eating habits of anyone I know, I don't think that there's a single vegetable in her house.
I understand that some people were just not born with skinny dna and that's fine but please eat healthy!
Big & Healthy is Beautiful for sure!

What a great topic for discussion. I can tell I'll spend a lot of time thinking about this tonight!

I think it's important to remember, as 2Airedales was alluding to, that beautiful is not the same as healthy. In fact, thin is not the same as healthy either, but that's another subject for another day. I always thought of myself as a reasonably attractive woman, even at my highest weight. That didn't mean I was thrilled to weigh 224 pounds, though.

Not to sound callous, because this is not something to joke about, but this topic reminds me of the scene in Liar, Liar where the boy is talking to his dad (Jim Carrey):

Boy: My teacher says beauty is on the inside.
Jim Carrey: That's just something ugly people say!

I totally agree with you.

On one hand, I do think people should be encouraged to accept themselves. Too many people, especially women, feel a lot of pressure to get down to a certain "vanity" weight. If you are within a healthy weight range already, feeling less worthy because you're a little bigger and not perfect is simply deletarious to self esteem. Studies actually show people with a little bit of extra weight are more healthy than those who are very thin or underweight.

BUT on the other hand, I think the "size acceptance" movement which encourages people to stay obese and morbidly obese is very dangerous. The fact of the matter is, obesity isn't healthy. You are putting a lot of strain on your cardiovascular system, plus you are limited in your mobility so you can't strengthen this already strained system either. You put a lot of weight on your joints, and there is evidence that simply being overweight contributes to insulin resistence and diabetes. Your quality of life is diminished.

While I am all for raising self esteem, these very overweight people are living in denial regarding the consequences for living such an unhealthy life. You will die earlier than you should if you weight 400 pounds, this is a certainty.

Actually, I think they do what they do because they feel they have no other option. Ironically I just wrote a lengthy post about how pre-atkins I used to feel I was destined to eat a lot and be big. I didn't even think I was eating a lot for my body, since I ate when I felt I was hungry. The problem was, I ALWAYS was hungry . I now realize my hunger was unnaturally high because of the food I was eating.

I think the morbidly obese feel there is no way out, and they figure since they were "born to be big" they might as well learn to love themselves. I can relate to this feeling, but I just can't help but wonder if only they tried low carb dieting they could reclaim their hunger and reclaim their life and health.

Some of them have such an emotional attatchment to food, that even if they found low carb did work for them they would miss the highs from carbs so much that they wouldn't be able to stay on the wagon. It's like how every alcoholic is not able to stay away from the temptations forever, because their personality and behavior is so intrinsically linked to escapism through drinking.

Anyway, I just feel bad for them personally. They have given up on trying to be healthy because they've been failed so many times, and are trying in vain to keep a smile on their face as they die a little more each day. It's very very sad. I wish I could teach them all about the atkins diet, because I am sure at least some of them would be helped by it, but I can't.

I think that the idea of loosing weight can also be scary for some people. You get attention, not only from the people you know but also more attention from strangers (who tend to treat fat people as invisible). There can also be that whole "what if I lose weight and then gain it back again" fear of failure. I have a friend who describes some of his self destructive behavior as a "comfortable pain," sort of a devil you know vs. the devil you don't.

I'm sorry, but morbid obesity is NOT healthy.

If you're happy, than that's great.

Unfortunately, if you're morbidly obese, you're facing an early grave.

Most of my family is morbidly obese, and they are dying. My DBIL weighs 650lbs. If he doesn't lose the weight NOW and SOON, he will die before he ever reaches 40. He's 33 now. Neither of my grandparents made it past age 60. They all died of either congestive heart failure, or Type 2 diabetes.

I'm not saying that your have to hate yourself if you're overweight. Just please, don't kid yourself into thinking that morbid obesity is healthy.

I will say this, it took me a lot longer to decide to switch to ths woe, because I was happy with myself. I knew I was overweight, but I am happy with who I am. I decided that I wanted to loose weight because I knew that if I didn't I would have a hard time keeping up with my kids, or being around when I had grandkids.

For me, my weight and the way I felt about myself, are two seperate things. You should always strive to be happy with yourself regardless of how much you weigh. But if you want to be happy with yourself and avoid a lot of the health related problems that go along with being overweight that is even better.

There is a difference between being beautiful and being physically desirable, having sex appeal. I'm not talking pop media here...skinny teenagers in skimpy clothing or bony adult women with enhancement after enhancement.

Big.. how big? I can acknowledge that someone has a beautiful face, whether it is fat or thin - but a large part of what is sexy/beautiful (TO ME) has to do with a person's physical body. If someone is carrying a significant amount of fat, yet still carries themselves with poise and grace - they obviously have some sense of physicality to them and that is an attractive feature. It's hard to explain how important "taking care" of yourself is to a person's over all image!

One of my girlfriends has an ideal figure by todays standards, and a beautiful face. Yet, she carries herself as if she were not worth very much, does not pay attention to detail when it comes to her clothes and makeup and thus does not come across as someone strikingly beautiful - whereas with the right image inside, she certainly would.

Another friend is significantly overweight - I don't want to venture to make estimate her weight..but she's pretty big. She does yoga or something - rather than being sedentary and she is radiantly beautiful, I am always in awe when I spend time with her because she is so beautiful. She walks like a queen and carries herself as if she were proud of her body - in an elegant way, not a "I am a sex kitten and look at me because I'm the hottest thing out there."

I don't think big is necessarily beautiful, although I believe that overweight people have just as much potential to be as attractive as their thin counterparts - although it really has to come from within because they (generally) don't have the advantage of having an ideal shape. It's a fact that certain body shapes are more pleasing to others and
I don't think that a large percentage of the population has a biological tendency to be drawn to overfat people of the opposite sex. Couple that with the constant media images being hammered into our heads and Big is Beautiful sounds something like denial.

Obesity and a sedentary lifestyle overwhelming this continent.. and it doesn't make sense to me to promote something that is unhealthy as something that is acceptable and even desirable - just because it is so widespread. That said - discrimination over weight is unfair. Yet... right now, if I was looking for a partner (I am not) I would have physicality and athleticism (not thinness) as something very important. I want to know he cares about his body and would be willing to share an active lifestyle.

It drives me crazy to see this "brainwashing" of a certain look or body type or shape to be promoted as THE IDEAL and what is hot and what is not.

This is longer than I intended it to be and rambled all over the place rather than making a point so.. I'll just end it before it gets out of hand.

Meg

I guess if you can't fit in a car, or an airplane seat or a movie theatre seat, then your life is so limited that you can't be posible satisfied with your quality of life. I guess when your weight starts dictating what you can do and what you can't, then is not a matter of looks anymore.

There's big difference between truly and completely accepting and loving yourself, regardless of size, and taking on the "Society HAS to make room for me and if you don't like it, there's something wrong with YOU!" mindset of some of these groups. Case in point--- Starr Jones. She used to be the poster child for "Fat Acceptance" but has since started a weightloss program and admitted that she has to love herself enough to lose the weight that was jeopardizing her health.

The bravado that's put forth by some is IMHO a smokescreen for the pain that comes from giving up on yourself, being so overwhelmed by the sense that you've failed and life is hopeless that you hand over responsibility to "society" so they give you the love and acceptance you lack in YOURSELF.

It seems the ones who join up and let go of any control are,again, IMO... giving up on themselves and "loving themselves" with food. It's sad to watch someone lose hope and commit slow suicide while pasting on a happy face for the world to see.