I've always been one to say that you can *not* lose a huge amount of weight by trying to do it through incredible motivation, trying to pump yourself up and get it done with the Rocky theme running in the background and expecting the world to bend to your whim. That kind of drive simply can NOT last as long as us TDC members need it to - you burn out and fall off. Instead, it has to be from making the diet second-nature, and that comes from a fundamental change in thinking and action that takes time and patience to create.

In my opinion, this is why I honestly hate The Biggest Loser. It makes the weight loss process seem like a sprint, something that's dramatic and attained through pushingpushingpushing, every single day as hard as humanly possible while being cheered through the finish line by all of America.

Friends, for those of us who are not on a television game show, it does not work that way. It is NOT a sprint, it is a marathon - an incredibly long one that lasts the entirety of our lives, one that is at times easy and others hard, one that includes its share of drama, but one that also includes its share of tedium and ho-hum Every Day Life. Our lives, unlike a game show, don't get to stop for 6 months to make the weight loss process the center of our universes. For that reason, the expectation of The Big Push is an unrealistic and - due to its complete incompatibility with real life - an often destructive model on which to build true success. I can not tell you the number of people I've seen come through this board over the years, telling everyone how it's done, how This Time It's For Real, how they're never going to fail again, how this time it's "X Pounds Gone Forever!"

Unrealistic expectations driven by delusional magical thinking leads to realistic downfalls a REMARKABLE amount of the time. People set themselves up for failure by creating standards and expectations that are unattainable and unrealistic, then have slip-ups that lead them to feel like failures, leading to their losing the course completely. "I couldn't do it! It's too hard!" Nonsense. You did it wrong by setting your goals and expectations too high. This is a lifelong thing. There is no "failing" until you've decided - consciously or not - to stop *trying* to make good decisions. People often stop stop trying because their model for doing this is one that is completely incongruous with living a real life - one that is driven by Magical Motivation that worked for one day, one week, or one month, but which eventually faded into the void, along with their hopes of living a healthy life.

The people I've modeled my success, such as it is, on have NOT followed that path. They are the ones who do it every day, when life is easy and when life is hard, and who realize that the underpinnings of the diet - the mindset and the motivation - are the key to doing this properly and successfully.

I'm currently trying to quit smoking (again...), and this morning I got an email on this point that I think very accurately displays this thought that I've often tried to convey, but not quite as succinctly. I wrote about it in my journal this morning, and I thought it might be something useful for other TDC members to think about as well. From my journal:

This came in my email today from the quitting smoking board I use (I don't post there, but it keeps track of how much money you've saved and as such is quite motivational). It is exactly true for weight loss/food addiction as well:



Reworded:



-j.