CKD is a cyclical ketogenic diet and, while it's not for everyone, it's a perfectly healthy way for body builders to shred.

I wasn't trying to flame anyone or be insensitive myself, I just think sometimes it's hard for someone who is/was really overweight to relate to/be empathetic with someone who is "skinny" but has eating problems.

TarHeel, your mind works in mysterious ways...what a combination!

Guess that's why you tickle me so much.

Lucy

My aim here is not to hurt anyone's feelings or to belittle their struggles. What I WOULD like to see is a little more of a rational perspective. It's vitally important she be able to pull away from that self-destructive thinking.

If Luvley cannot see past her own immediate need to denigrate herself, then a diet is no answer. I wanted to remind her that so MANY of us have eating disorders (overeating/emotional eating IS an eating disorder). So MANY of us have enough self hatred to go around, but only after having ONE DAY of eating a normal amount of meals, the phrase "fat cow" was used to describe herself. How many of us have heard that despised phrase after walking past strangers, aimed at our backs? I know I have, and I didn't weigh 115 lbs. It's quite disturbing to have that phrase here, in such a manner, when the reality is far from it. Do you really think it's in her best interest to use it on herself, now?

And even though 19 is young, it's not so young to realize that sometimes when you're reminded of someone else's feelings, you can find empathy where none was there before, and that's a start..

If I'm out of line, I apologize, but I think sticking my neck out on this is important.

Vicky

On the weight charts I look at, its not unrealistic for a 19 year old girl thats only 5 foot tall to want to weigh about 105... she goes about it wrong, but its not a bad goal weight for her.

My daughter is 20 and weighs 95 and she is 5'2"... that weight is not too skinny on her because she has a very petite frame...at 5'2" my daughter would look a little chubby if she weighed 115...so my point is that everyone is different and some have such small frames that a normal weight for them is pretty low.

It's not the goal weight that makes it worrysome, but the attitude, the self-hatred and the confusion of body image with self image.

There's likely a reason she hasn't been back.

Potato is right. I'm the same height, and while I don't want to go there (not that I could at my age), her goal is not necessarily a bad one. I weighed 103 many years ago and looked pretty good and was healthy, once I got over the diet pill addiction.

Short people can get away with lower weights. Because we're short.

It's the attitude that is problematic. And the reluctance to settle upon a particular sensible plan.

Kay

I agree that diet is not an answer. But even WE forget that lowcarbing is a way of eating that keeps us healthy.

Trust me. I've seen it in my own sister. It HELPED her solve some of the emotional/mental problems she was having - including her eating disorders. These hormones are funny things. We really have NO idea how much what we put in our mouths affects EVERYTHING we think/say/do/feel.

So whether or not we think Luvley should DIET, I do feel that a low carb eating plan WOULD help her feel somewhat BETTER and give her an edge to get her closer to dealing with the real eating disorder problem (remember, it was SHE that said she had an eating disorder).

That being said, I don't think you were WRONG to feel insulted by the "fat cow" comment. But also keep in mind...some of these girls who may weigh 115 pounds REALLY SEE THEMSELVES as if they weighed 215 pounds.
I, myself, have this problem to some extent. I'm around 160 pounds...and if you were to put me next to a woman that weighs 140 pounds, and a woman that weighs 220 pounds, I'd identify with the 220 pound woman as being similar to me. At least I can RATIONALLY know this is ridiculous. But not everyone can reason this yet. I guess all I'm saying is that Luvley probably HONESTLY believes that she looks as bad as WE think WE look.

Can you imagine that?

-- Loretta Pioch

Thank you for saying what I meant 100 times better than I did.

Hay everyone!...

I just got all ur messages...i was workin all day i work on the weekends....I am doing okay i guess...i ate 3 meals today and a snack....i had eggs with cheese and bacon for breakfast....a chicken salad wiht cucumbers for lunch....a cheeseburger (no bread) and brocoli for dinner....some cheese and peporoni and a zero carb jello for snack?...i feel like i ate SOOOO much...not feeling happy YET...im hoping i willtho.... let me no what you all think?

Wow! Good job! Your meals sound great. Don't panic, however, if you go up just a smidge in weight at first - your body will take a week or so to adjust, which may or may not include a little bit of water retention. In fact, stay away from the scale for at least two weeks.


Do you watch TV? If so, instead of sitting while watching do some exercise. No fancy equipment is needed. You can use soup cans as dumbbells and do squats and lunges (check out www.exrx.net for ideas and proper form). If you firm up your muscles you will shrink and feel lots better. I have lost several inches since early June while maintaining the same weight by adding more exercise.

At your weight you will see much better results with exercise. It really makes a difference.

Good luck.

Joan

You're doing great! I bet your dad and boyfriend are smilin' now!
I like what the previous post said about exercising with cans....I think
I'll check out that website myself!

Absolutely, Lipid! I think 105 is OK, I think 110 or 115, or even 120 with muscle tone is even better, because her own metabolism will help maintain FOR her. If there has been an extended period of starvation, the muscle tone she has left will need to be redeveloped, as it most likely has been compromised to a pretty good extent. (ie: a bodyfat percentage disproportionate to muscle) She wants to fit into her pants, and that's a worthy goal, regardless of what the scale says. I want her negative self-talk to end, because it will just stop her from meeting her goals. It has no use and ultimately will cost her, if it hasn't already.

I used the "fat cow" comment to remind her of other folk's feelings in order to shift focus away from her own self scrutiny, to try to put things into perspective, AND to develop a "nurture" mindset. Once the nurturing/empathic aspect of her personality is brought forth, it's likely to spill over into what she's capable of doing for herself that's positive, not negative. That's the reason I believe a diet is not ultimately what she needs, she needs a positive mindset and the tools to get healthy. The weight will distribute the way it needs to once she's been eating and finds the energy to exercise, because I also believe she's got a compromised energy level by now. Now, I could be wrong in all my assessments, but I've got a lot of life experience, generally know human nature, and if I can help, even remotely, I will put my 2c in each and every time.

I actually was not insulted. I just wanted her aware of the difference between her reality and mine/ours, and to mentally compare the two, for the reasons outlined above.

Vicky

Luvley has told me that she does kickboxing and body toning. So she has scheduled in some good strenuous exercise.

That is great eating, Luvley--wanna throw a small salad in there along with one of your meals? With that good frequent low carb eating, your body will be out of starvation mode in no time and building muscle!

I agree that you shouldn't weigh yourself (or if you do, don't pay attention to the weights--they will go up, but this is temporary) for two weeks. Remember, you stated that your goal is not to lose weight but to feel comfortable in your clothes. So who cares about the numbers?

Be patient about your emotional responses to the eating. Your "issues" will not go away in a day. But with the exercise and the low carb you will begin to feel stronger and your body will get toned...it doesn't really matter what the scale shows, right? No one else is looking!

Just remember--your body needs food to make muscle--it needs food to be convinced not to store fat--you are doing the right thing by feeding it regularly.

And BTW, are you drinking water? At least 8 glasses a day?

I honestly don't know what a weight of 120 would look like on a girl 5 foot tall.... I don't know how many pounds of muscle would be feasible for a person of that height.... I used to weigh 125 at 5'4 and I had very good muscle tone and 18% body fat....thats what I would like to have back.

I think the right height/weight ratio all depends on bone structure, and how athletic you are. I am 5'8", and looked good at 140, where 120 on another girl roughly my height worked for her. I looked stronger and healthier, though.

Vicky