I am so thankful for this forum. I love wine....I have not drank very much since Lc-ing....I miss it though and I think about it. Thanks for letting me listen in, so to speak, and to learn. I appreciate all of you and the way you share so openly.
Linda

I've walked with the dog this morning and had a good think about all the bits of my life that i am totally in charge of.

the only think i do fall back on is alcohol.

Now is the time to put all my piece back into the equation and realise that alcohol isn't included.

I think it will be hard to say i'll never drink again because when i haven't had a drink for a week (usually my limit) then the first drink i have is so fantastic, that i think what stops me from completely quitting is the thought of not having that feeling again.

I know alot of it is psychological as with smokers and haing something to do with their hands, etc, but it has to be a step towards being in control of it and i need to tell myself that i don't need a glass of wine to relax or "chill" and infact i already know"my" alternatives - a huge pot of decaf tea while i watch a soppy film with a creamy cheesecake (PP of course) or a couple of crispbreads and egg mayo. Or even a beautiful tall glass filled with ice and diet orange- with some yoghurt(orange and wholewheat). See i already have the alternatives but i can't seem to put them into practise.

But yesterday was a bit of a breakthrough for me- just writing all the stuff i did brought it right to the forefront of my consciousness and MADE me make a decision.

So let's see if the gap - though what it is i don't know - is filled with all the other fab things that i do and try to find other ways to chill out rather than blotting out any bad bits with a couple of drinks.

Thanx again everyone

Phoebe X X

Osuzana,

I so agree with everything that's been posted thus far...alcohol is baffling and cunning...serenity will come tho' if you keep seeking it.

I just wanted to add that about a year ago, after a rough couple of months with teenagers, I made an app't with a doctor - told the receptionist I needed to see him due to EXTREME STRESS!

After being quite thorough and honest with him as he took my history, including the fact that I hadn't slept more than 3-4 hours for many years, he precsribed an anti-depressant for me called "Remeron."

The main 'side-effect' is sleepiness so you take it 30 minutes before bedtime...and it works beautifully!

I can't begin to tell you what a treat it is to sleep again! I just feel it has been such a healthy change in my life.

AND, the teens are not so 'out of control' anymore - mama has learned to set boundaries, and that's been good for all of us!

The depression has lifted as well - I look at life totally differently these days...on a follow-up visit, the doctor said I have chronic depression and could stay on this indefinitely.

I do believe I have suffered from it for a lifetime, and had I been properly diagnosed and treated years ago, many things in our lives would have been different.

NOW, this may scare anyone on this forum about Remeron - the other side effect (in 17% of the users who take it), is increased appetite.

Yep - before LC, I gained 20 pounds in a year, BUT since April 3rd when I started Atkins/CALP, I have been doing just fine...14 pounds lost!

So I am convinced that the carb cravings certainly put much more weight on me than the Remeron.

Phoebe-Tom
Wow what a great letter: One thing for sure this post has allowed us to speak the truth about ourselves, and that alone enlightens us to our selves and others who dare to admit we have a problem, or maybe we don't have a problem, but as one of the replies here stated "If we think we do, then we probably do"
I know for sure that my problem with wine is, that I really like the sedating feeling it gives me after a long hard day of life. Like yesterday, when my husband and I had to put our beautiful 12 year old mixed Cocker Spaniel "Fergie" to sleep forever. My heart broke, and we had such a difficult time and difficult day. By 9pm I just wanted to crawl onto my living room couch with a glass of wine and close my burning swollen tear filled eyes and drift off. I did just that, and finally slept for the first time in days.
I know that I need to not depend on the wine for this, but I also know that I just really like how it makes me feel. Especially on occasions such as this.

My extreme condolences to you and your husband.

Julie

Prsloan;
I don't think I have ever heard of Remeron, Is it something new?
I had been diagnoased as being depressed about 2 years ago.
Although I never thought of my self that way, I always try to be up-beat and happy on the outside, so I was surprised when the Doctor perscribed "Celexa" It had side affects, such as weight gain, and decresed sexual drive.... Good Grief!!! I'm going through pre- menopause... I don't have a hell of a lot of sex drive as it is... and to me that's a perscription for divorce! And I love my DH. Sooooo I didn't take it! I chose to stay with my wine instead. But I am interested in the Remeron, I thank you for posting your information on it.

Gator Gal 93

Thank You!

Yes, I sincerely mean it. I live alone and my pet is my best roommate. I understand the loss very well.

I have been lurking on this post for some time. Maybe one day I will post.

Julie

So sorry to hear about Fergie! Saying goodbye to your pet is absolutely heart-wrenching.

The only thing you can say to yourself is that she's comfortable now. I remember when my first Wheaton Terrier died suddenly at seven years of age (heart attack), how devastated I felt. All I could do was imagine her at her happiest and best, and then believe that she was somewhere, feeling just like that.

This thread is really interesting, and thank you Susann for bringing it up. One thing I'm learning at AA is that alcoholism is FAR more prevalent than we think. It's like a whole subculture of people who, while a LONG way from the gutter, or hiding bottles in their laundry baskets, nonetheless have become dependent on the stuff. I'm one of them, but I'm hoping that I can learn to control my intake rather than give it up forever.

I'm impressed with the program. It's utterly non-judgemental and focusses on really living your life, rather than just cruising through it. But as I said to one of the ladies at the meeting yesterday: "I'd really like to follow the program and drink too!". She just laughed.

There's a lot of humour there. And a whole lot of support for those who want it. I'd recommend it to anyone.

Onec again, my sympathies.

Joanna

Osuzana,

I hadn't ever heard of Remeron before either - this was a younger doctor who is really 'up' on the latest...

All I can say is it's worked wonders for me.

As far as sex drive, doesn't seem to have affected that!

Prsloan

Hi Suzana, We have a little Yorkie and he is the delight of our daily lives. We have a grandchild and another on the way and this in no way takes away from them. I am so sorry for your loss. It is heart breaking and traumatic to lose a friend. Friends are hard to cultivate and keep. Human friends do not give the undonditional love that dogs do.
Just wanted you to know that there are many of us who understand. Thanks again for sharing about 'wine'. Has helped me begin thinking and moving toward change.
Linda

Hi friends, I haven't posted since this thread was first started, but I have definately been staying current with it. I am glad to see people come forward to themselves and to others with their alcohol struggles, whatever the degree of addiction.

I agree with JOANNA, I don't want to give it up forever. I do want to be in control of my consumption and not the other way around. Since starting LCing, this has been easier. I look at red wine as a "trigger food" and have stayed away from it for over a couple of weeks now. I have had A beer, and last Sat. afternoon/evening, DH and I enjoyed two mixed drinks together. In the past, once I started inbibing, I wouldn't stop until very intoxicated, or bedtime. Last week, I simply didn't want anymore, (vodka/raspberry dietrite). I know if it had been red wine, it would've been another story. Still have some growing to do there!!

I also wanted to share about an "all-natural" supplement I started taking in 2/02. "BeCalmed" . I too suffer from depression (my job doesn't allow me to take ANY meds for depression) and I have found this supplement (along w/LCing) to make me feel as good as I did last year when on CELEXA and ZOLOFT without any of the bummer side effects. (I had to take a leave of absence from work-acutally rather enjoyed that part of it-unfortunately, just stayed home and ate and ate and ate.)

I would encourage whoever is interested to check out the info available on the internet and of course if on perscription meds, be sure and talk to your Dr. first. I'm sorry I don't have the link, nor did I have the forsight to look up the address before starting this post. Just type "Becalmed" into your search engine and you should find what your looking for.

Suzana, I am so very sorry for the loss of your little loved one. I remember, when I was a teenager, crying for days when the miniture poodle I had grown up with contracted parvo and died in a very short period. I remember hearing my mom cry and that was the hardest We now have a golden retriever named Chance (there was NO chance I was going to have a dog-my son and husband eventually won me over ) Despite his digging, chewing, shedding, I love that dog!! and I know when his time comes, it is going to be heartache/break all over again. My sympathies for you, Suzana. I hope time will ease your heart and allow many happy memories to bring a smile to your day .

http://www.becalmd.com/index4.htm

HTH,
Julie

P.S. But, beware of the evil pop up windows!

You are SO Cool!!

Thank-you, Julie

If you really want to kick the habit, get some 5htp and take it before dinner. It will relax you, kill the craving for alcohol, and you will sleep better, and feel better in the morning.