I always blamed my parents for my weight problem. I still do, as far as being a fat child. They made all of us kids "clean our plates, and drink all of your WHOLE milk" before we could even leave the supper table. But, after being a fat child, every single thing I put in my mouth is my fault. When I was able to face that, I was able to loose the weight. I am not at goal, but pretty close. I gained all of my adult weight myself, and I am loosing it for myself.

Not at goal but pretty close? I can cheer you on for winning that battle! Good for you. I think you are being truly ADULT about this - and I am struggling to find my ADULT attitude toward food through LC moderate portions. I have no problem with other substances, am indifferent to alcohol and drugs, but food is a substance that I used as a substitute for many things that were not available to me as a child and that were too frightening for me to risk later on as I grew older without becoming ADULT.

I figure I'm learning NOW to regard food as fuel, not as comfort or a substitute for what I'm too skittish or timid to risk reaching out for.

I'm glad that you are able to manage your food sensibly. I really am!

It is still hard for me! There are times when I want to just dive into a big pile of battered fish, or a Giant bucket of buttered popcorn at the movies, but I finally learned that food can't stop you from feeling the way you feel. I found my self esteem. It started by doing the hardest thing I can think of for someone who is overweight. I stripped naked, and looked at myself in a full length mirror. I really took a long, hard look at myself. Backside, front side, sideways, and realized that I don't feel on the inside how I look on the outside. I wanted to do more things with my kids, I wanted to do more things FOR ME. When I started this way of eating, I told my husband, who is VERY overweight, that I wasn't doing this for him to be more attracted to me, or to be more proud of me, but I was going to loose the weight JUST FOR ME. At first, he was offended, he accused me of doing it to attract other men, (yes, we were having problems for awhile), but soon, he saw that it was working, and no matter what he said, I was still doing this for me. We were able to work through our issues, and I still am going to hit my goal someday. You have to do it for yourself, not to please anyone else. As soon as you are able to do that, you will succeed.

Really shocking, isn't it, to strip and actually SEE the flab, all of it, in motion, as one turns and looks - really LQQKS - at what one has done to one's originally perfect body, temple of the soul and all that. That's a reality check that will wake up anyone!

Am I ready to do that? Not hardly! I get glimpses of thighs and belly and it's all a bit MUCH even in small doses. But I think you are right about that being a sure cure for delusional thinking that voluminous clothes hide anything. I still layer on garments, as if that makes me feel concealed. Truth is, nothing I wear hides all the wobbly stuff that moves even when I've stopped moving.

Agh! I'm speechless. Is this an epiphany? Hard to tell. Maybe.

Oh, I just went and read your SUCCESS story, where your then-13yr-old son asks you to show your abs and bellybutton ring to his friends. OMG, you've got abs? I think I've got 'em too, but they are not yet visible. They're there! I just need to pare off some of the lard and tone up the core muscles a bit.

Congrats on your success and on having a son who's proud of your success!

Stripping in front of the mirror is a heck of a wake up call..... The first time I did it, I cried..... I couldn't believe what I had done to myself (distant past now).

Now, every morning I get up and brush my teeth while looking in the mirror at myself with nothing on. It's a habit I got into to force myself to take that hard look.

Sometimes I like what I see and sometimes I don't, but the mirror can't lie and not show me what's there. Warts and all so they say....

All the best, Julie

I can honestly say, that Yes, I do have abs. You can actually see them coming out!! I too, look at myself naked every single day to make sure things are still going good. some days I still see the fat me, other days I am strutting. My husband told me I am starting to feel like a stick when he puts his arms around me! Thank you for the compliments, and I wish you all the best

Catching a glimpse of myself naked in the mirror, full-length, was what finally did it for me - the day before I finally went low carb. It was an ugly, ugly, ugly glimpse...I don't want to ever see that again!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, some really gritty truths are coming out, about how folks face facts by looking at a naked body in a mirror. Doing it daily sure would adjust any fading memory of how my body looks as I head out into the world thinking maybe I could eat THIS or THAT and compensate later somehow for using food as amusement or as comfort or anything beside simple honest fuel for a body.

One wonders if a spouse might feel encouraged to slim down, to get healthier, as one's lifemate takes better care of a body by slimming down. I think that would be an inspiration to shape up, although I get the part about how we all need to do it for our own self and not to please anyone else. I get that. I do. I do.

A man trying to make me feel better about a fat comment that was made to me (as someone, a friend, wanted me to feel less aware of my radiance and...well...she was being mean) said DON'T NOBODY BUT DOGS LIKE BONES as he winked at me. I was shocked at what my "friend" had just said about my being fat, so his reassurance made me feel better - for that evening. Truth is, I'd never have put on this much weight if I had a body that was exposed. Nothing like wearing skimpy clothes to make a person think about a waistline and midriff and all that! I'm for skimpy garb, in that respect. I grew up being dressed in dark colors and being told not to jiggle or display any development. Somehow that segued into believing that I can layer up to hide a body that just billows - all on its own.

Do I dare set up a mirror to see myself naked daily? I dunno.

Ugh... I can hardly look at my face without disgust let alone my complete body. I had DH take pictures of me in a bathing suit on our vacation in November and just looking at them I want to dig a huuuuge hole and jump in and never resurface.

These photos may be useful once I have lost a significant amount of weight, right now I just can't look at them. Even the idea of looking at myself in a full size mirror naked (and I do have such a mirror in my household but I only cross its path in clothes) is too much for the micrograms of self-respect and self-esteem left...

dhania

Happy New Year from SoCal at 6am Monday morn! I offer this to inspire you: http://forum.lowcarber.org/showpost...&postcount=2979