It really is, isn't it? I am going to kep on keeping on with this. Maybe I will just have to find something else to improve with myself once I am good with the health and weight. Maybe that is what life is really about, a continuation of improvement or something...

I had a similar "feeling" to what you experienced but with something else . I was Ed since I was very young. I finally decided to truly give it up, work hard at be healthy.My hair, my skin , my body , my energy my overall health mentally and physically was so so much better.I was "happy" and healthy yet I felt strangly a mourning of some type getting used to a life that did not requre an ED to use as a coping mechanism and a safety net...and I realized all those years of having an ED I focused on that and not dealing with the other issues...now I was healthy and HAD to deal with the other issues...it was scary and part of me wanted the comfort of my old self..you might relate your higher weight with a form of comfort and trading that in for the unknown can make us feel overwhelmed....just know it is a process and one day you will look back and be happy with all that you have accomplished ...
Peace & Blessings to you
Laura

Laura, thank you. I'm feeling a relation to what you said and I think I should explore that further. Lately, I have been learning a lot of new things about myself... some of them I embrace and others I cringe at the thought of...

I have read through this thread, and I know what you mean. I have been at goal for about 7 mos now and I still have a skewed view of myself. I guess it just takes time...

BTW - Has anyone ever told you that you favor Rose McGowan?

I have been told I look like her, Liv Tyler and a few other people who don't come to mind right now. I think it just depends on the lighting and what color I'm wearing. I have hazel green eyes but they turn brown and blue a lot. It really does make a difference in appearance.

I can't wait to hit goal but at the same time I wonder how long I will feel odd about not being fat anymore.

It is kinda weird. I still feel a little comfort when I feel my belly. It's not flat, but it's smaller than it used to be in proportion to how I'm smaller than I used to be. There is a good fiction book out there that I have read over and over that is relatable to this. It's called "Jemima J" by Jane Green. That is a link to it on Amazon. I don't like the review that they put on there - don't agree with it being a "tired" book. I loved it!

There are a slew of rotten reviews for the book but to be honest, I found them humorous, LOL! I will check and see if they have it at the library. Thanks!

By the way, your before and after pics are truly amazing.

Re: Jemima J - I have read this book so many times I can't count. I also have all of her other books except for the latest one. It's a good read. It's light and funny, and for all of us, it's very relatable.

THANKS!!!