I just wanted to say welcome, I too started again this Spring, and after having a week off for sickness I'm back at this WOE. I can relate to many things in your initial post. I'm MAKING THIS be THE time that this works for me.

Lisa, I'm glad you had a good day with food yesterday, even if the rest of it was not quite wonderful! Way to go!

the idea to post every day for 30 days is a marvelous one. sorry to hear you were having a rotten day, but the fact that you're doing well food-wise is great!

Ack...Not sure what is going on with me. I have an overwhelming urge to eat bad food. Really strong! Then my mind jumps in and sides with my physical urges.

I am going to be out of town the next two days at a conference about one of my daughter's scholarships. I am not sure what kinds of food will be provided. So now I am thinking perhaps I should just wait until I get back on Monday....

Not sure what I am going to do, but I wanted to post here what is going on.

Getting started is hard, getting the first three days in is hard, and then "stringing together weeks" where you don't cheat at all any days is hard. But the real change comes when you start stringing together weeks where you stick to your plan and get your exercise. That's when you're strong and doing the hard work that it takes. That's commitment and dedication. I wish you the best. I hope you get to string a lot of weeks together. You will be pleased.

Carb addiction isn't only a mind-thing. It is a real, physical addiction. Carbs cause real, chemical changes to our brains that feel good, and that we're *used to*, so we want them, and we miss them when we don't get them. Carbs are a drug and we get physically addicted to them.

That's why the 2 week induction period is so important. Its the fastest way to break a lot of the physical addictions. Cold turkey as it were. Breaking the mental habits takes much longer.

It helped me to just put eating correctly in the 'not optional' category. You have to brush your teeth, drag yourself to work every day, pay your bills, and eat low carb. Not optional, even when it isn't fun. Eventually, you just get used to it.

I've been almost exactly where you are. I was actually a little bigger to start. Losing that first 100 lbs was absolutely, positively worth the effort I had to put into it in improved health and general quality of life. I'm not thin yet, but I went from everything being a struggle to fitting in normal chairs and being able to wear seatbelts in every car and not always needing the handicapped bathroom and able to go for walks and short hikes and able to stand at parties and business functions without always needing a chair all the time.

You can do this. And you will be sooooo glad you did.



Never 'wait till Monday'. Its a trap. Go and make the best choices you can from what is provided, and bring your own cheese sticks or beef jerky or peanuts, whatever you can, to help you not be hungry and limit the damage. If you can't be as clean as you'd like, still do the best you can. A tortilla is less damage than pasta. Fruit is better than bread. Do your best to make the better choices, and you'll feel better about the whole thing when you get home.

I am so glad I stayed true to course last night. I finally told myself it would be too much effort to go cook some carby food (I don't have any easily accessible) and I was tired. I also told myself even if I eat off plan at the conference, it doesn't mean I need to eat off tonight.

Well I am glad I didn't. This morning is a new day, and I am feeling better. It hit me this morning (when I was feeling fresh) that the room probably has a fridge. So I used what I have on hand, I mixed a block of cream cheese, with chopped up turkey and a few green onions and smashed it into a tupperware bowl...a smashed cheese ball of sorts. It is rich, calorie dense, plenty of fat and protein. I have a small 6 pack ice chest I am putting it in with ice, just in case there is no fridge. I also have some almonds I am bringing. I feel good about this. Which is good, because last night I kept dreaming of being at the conference dinner and eating fresh rolls. This morning when I think about it, I see myself eating meat, salad and vegetables; smiling and interacting with people, feeling good, instead of sitting there dulling, with a glazed look in my eye, the only thing going for me being the rolls and the dessert.

I want that! I want to have a better quality of life. I want to be me, right now the fat is squishing the real me. I am tired of the struggle, I want freedom. I hope when I loose 100 lbs, I have the same results as you.

A bit late with the welcome back, Lisa, but it's heartfelt.

You have described the psychology of the addiction so well - everything tied to how well you are eating. It can shift so quickly from one day to the next. We're here for those days when you have small or big successes to share and are also here for those days that just seem so hard and where the siren food calls so loudly.

It is just that - a Siren. Keep your freedom first and foremost in your mind. And remember there are so many smaller rewards along the way - being able to do things you couldn't do before.

Success is all along the way, with each step.

I hope your conference goes well. Good thinking on bringing your own food and addressing your own needs head-on.

I'm willing to bet that every one of us can identify with the emotions you expressed. We have all been there, and indeed some of us still are and will always be there. I've lost a bunch of weight but it still calls out to me at every corner. Well, let it call. I don't need to answer. This journey kind of reminds me of the movie "A Beautiful Mind." It is about a guy who is a genius but is mentally ill and always seeing people who aren't there. He finally gets his life back under control when he learns to just ignore the people he thinks he sees. He still sees them and hears them but he knows that they are not real so he ignores them. That is how I feel about processed carbs. I just have to ignore them because they are not real food. I sincerely hope you will stick with us even if you do have a slip now and then. We've all done that but if we stick together we have a better chance of getting through this journey. Wishing you losses.

Lisa, that's great that you feel so much better and stronger this morning!

Batspit is completely correct, too, when she talks about the physiological component of carb addiction. Never underestimate it. It's very real and very powerful. I know when I've let carb creep get out of hand because suddenly all the foods I love - green salads, chicken, stirfried veggies, my normal food all sounds bland and uninteresting and all I am interested in is pasta, starch, sugar & junk food.

And I love that you had nothing in your house to prepare that was carby, so it stopped you from eating carbs the other night. That's what taking care of ourselves looks like, setting up our world so that it's easier to stay on track than it is to get off it. Way to go!

Checking in from the conference. I am not sure how dinner will go, right now I am one meal at a time. We went to subway for lunch, I got a footlong grilled chicken w/o bread. I used the oil and vinegar. I am not sure what was in what I ate, but I feel drugged. And I am crazy for some sugar. It is wild! Not happy about it.

Conference is good. At this point, I don't know what I will eat, at this very moment while writing, I want the carbs. I want them very badly. The thought of not eating them at dinner tonight makes me feel grumpy. Who knows, writing this here though may help. It did last night.

Time to go...

PS Either way, good or bad, I will be back to post tomorrow. Thank you for not minding me post here in the main forum instead of my journal for these 30 days.

Unfortunately, the Subway chicken probably had added food starch and other fillers, which are all carby. It would not surprise me if you were extremely sensitive to these kinds of food additives.


Don't let it make you feel grumpy. Let it make you feel empowered. You are a strong woman and you do not have to let your addiction get control over you. You will feel so much freedom if you can stuff that addiction in its little locked box. Good luck.

--Melissa

Hi Lisa, I hope your dinner went well last night. Thinking of you and hoping today is a bit easier.

Tap, tap, tap... (that's my foot tapping, awaiting your return).

I hope you didn't swing by yesterday because you were busy and enjoying your conference. I hope all is well.