I love my husband and his help! He is a great cook and makes me these amazing burgers! I agree with a lot of you though, I hate the Food Police, "You'll regret it line." I get so mad...I sizzle over this...lol! The good thing is that he always makes it up to me with a burger, some super hot chicken wings, or eggs! The other great thing he does is challenge me at the gym, I love this and his help...

I like this thread... It just goes to show you how different people take to different things.. My DH is also LC, BUT he didn't always do it with me. He always told me to do what made ME happy and to do it for ME not him.. he loves me anyway that I am..

But a quick question Kate, why did you find it hurtful that he got you a subscription to a low carb magazine ?? I would LOVE one!!!! Just like I said different strokes for different folks!

Dee

I'm sorry but being a man has nothing to do with it.



That statement tells me quite a bit. Is it a false statement? How many times has she strayed and then regreted it and then beat herself up for it or for that matter then told him how upset she was with herself.
I hear you saying you don't want honesty ....just shut-up and tell me what I want to hear or I'll feel bad.

Sorry that don't fly with me....take responsibility for your own action. support comes in all flavors and isn't always sugar coated.

My DH is very supportive. I think it is important to have a spouse/boyfriend whom is supportive; we have enough demons in our head tempting us from time to time. My DH doesn't really understand the entire concept of LC; he knows I don't eat any bread, potatoes, rice, or sweets. Beyond that, he has no clue, but cheers me on. If he only knew, 50% of his meals were LC too!

My DW has been the conscience on my shoulder more than one time during my struggle and although I didn't always want to hear what she had to say to me I never once felt or thought she had anything but my best interest at heart. If anything here it should be examined why the truth is being avoided here and why she doesn't want to hear it.

I have a wonderful hubby that started South Beach with me back in August. He was able to drop over 30 lbs. and keep it off. I dropped 12, then proceeded to gain it all back. I'm back to Phase 1, and he supports me by eating what I make and getting up in the morning and running with me. He will eat the occasional french fry here and there...but he has that right! He doesn't make a big show of it, and I try not to look!!
Needless to say, it always helps that he tells me daily that I'm beautiful and how much he loves me. I can't think of any better boost than that.

My situation is a bit different than most.. my DH is a truck driver, gone 4-5 weeks at a time. While he's gone, I do wonderful. When he's home, its the "one bite won't hurt".. which led to me falling off til he left for another trip. Him thinking that I will start "looking" for someone else when I have no interest in anyone else... its not easy. I just posted something similar earlier in my journal. My fears about being able to stay on plan while he is home..

I have to agree with Kevin on this.

Kevin,
Please stop being so aggressive about your point. While I appreciate dissent as much as anyone, I find your comments have disintegrated into repetitive personal jabs.

This thread is for people to discuss various methods of how they feel best supported.

For me, since you seem so determined to delve into my own motivation, I don't like food police (as many, many others have expressed). This is not because I don't appreciate honesty - my boyfriend and I have one of the most open and honest relationships I've ever come across. It's partly because I want to be responsible for my actions. I need to be strong enough to decide not to have ice cream or whatever on my own, not have someone taking away my right to make those decisions.

I don't understand how me being happy with someone telling me what not to eat is "taking responsibility" for my own actions...to me, that's the opposite.

And, Jillibean's right. Partly it's hurtful and embarassing to hear. You don't want to be told you're too fat to eat something. But to me, the wresting of my control over what I eat is the most belittling part of a comment like that.

Let me also clarify that this is not something my boyfriend has done frequently - I only used it as an example to start discussion.

I think one of the points he is trying to make is that your significant other did NOT say that..and if he was any kind of man never would. He told the truth to try and help you.

I do understand what your saying too, although I would not take it that way but we are all different.

Us ladies have a tendency to hear what we want to hear when its not what was said, or even meant. We females are fickel creatures I know Ive done it before on certain things. He may have said "you'll regret it" and you heard "you'll regret eating that because your going to keep gaining weight - your already fat enough"... or any combination of that.

I have a strange one myself. I hate hearing "oh you have lost weight" from my mother when I havent lost anything. I know shes just trying to be nice but I know its not true so it bothers me. Its like shes lieing to me.

I've been reading this with great interest and I need just a bit of clarification. Could you explain to me how signing you up for a low carb magazine subscription is hurtful??? The first thing I thought when I read that, was how sweet of him to notice that you're doing low carb and would like maybe to read a low carb mag for ideas, support, and recipes. Maybe I missed an underlying message but personally I think that was very supportive--so I'm confused on that one



You probably won't like this, but, I have to agree with Kevin and LadyArya on that one.


Lisa

Sorry Kate, when I see statements like this I can't interpret it any other way other than this thread is about control.......your control. That statement show so much emotional support for your BF....do you even try to understand where he is coming from? Making statements like that.I think not.

my fiance is very supportive of me and does LC intermittently...he helps me the most (even when he isn't LCing) because he is sooo much better at cooking than i am and so creative with food...if it weren't for him, i would have been eating nothing but salad, tuna and scrambled eggs since january...the first few months that we went "LC shopping" we spent hours in the grocery store going up and down the isles going "can i have this? can i have that?" for almost everything on the shelves...we grabbed a set of measuring spoons in the baking isle just to carry around with us so we could get an idea of how much one Tbsp of peanut butter or salad dressing is...it was a lot of fun and a neat bonding activity for us...now that we are both losing a little weight, he likes when i wrap my arms around him because they go all the way around and i can sit on his lap without his legs falling asleep

he doesn't do anything that is unsupportive...he's never been the food police (he has no room to talk!), but i wish he would be a little less stingy with the compliments...if he notices something good, i wish he would say something about it...but i think that's just his personality because he does the same thing whether i'm fat or thin

my other issue is with sex...this is probably TMI, but...i like sex a lot and when i'm thinner we do it a lot...the fatter i get, the less we have and its not because of lack of effort on my part...to me, it feels like he's not attracted to me anymore...and that opens up a whole host of other insecurity issues and my self esteem takes a huge dump...i know its nothing that he did or didn't do, its just that once you get caught in that downward spiral sometimes its really hard to get out of it

My DH is just supportive. I eat no veggies and family sometimes really pressures me. He usually pipes up before me to say that veggies are not an option for me. He sees me healthy and feeling good and wants me to stay that way..

Highsteaks,
If you do not want any advise from your boyfriend do not let him pay for your food, gym, cook for you, etc.. He sounds like a great guy!! After all the nice things he did & does for you I think you may hurt his feelings acting like a baby! Grow up! I'm with Kevinpa! If you don't like his advice tell him not to support you anyway! including paying your way with this WOE!