Lori- Up at 5 AM without HAVING TO??????? Urghhhh- I would be going BACK to bed.
YEa on the vacay within site- 2 days!!!! Yea for you! I would take your 168!!- Especially since you are so tall! You carry it well!!!!

Yes you must get those supplies before the beach!
What will your poor hubby do while you are gone? Does he make plans too? Guys nite in or something?

NIC- you are the sweetest! Thank you. - I know you are ready to head out too! It won't be the same without you two!!!! Hope you two check in now and again!
What is the agenda for your girls weekend? Is there one? Or are you going to just hang out and watch movies and drink margarita's

BLue- So nice to see you are HOPEFULLY turning that corner once and for all. Kick that illness to the curb!!!- Hopefully you did not lose to much work over it!

Trig- - Are you laying low in this heat wave? OMG I have never seen anything like it!
Yea! On 4 down!!!!!!!! - you just keep doing what you are doing! I know you must be in your zone!

Did the kiddo find any tops? Any hikes in the future? Hoping this next weekend will be a cooler air weekend!

KMOM- your back- no teasers - how are ya doing!!!!
-------------------------------------------------
My tummy woke me up at 330. Had to deal with that- then I could not get back to sleep. still kinda hurts, but it's Monday morning!!!- No surprise.

Yesterday was a typical eating day! Maybe just a hair smaller portion. But I didn't need 2 burgers- I was full on one.
Yes I know that wine breaks the fast, but so does eating. So when I have just ONE glass with dinner I sure the food breaks the fast anyway. I am fasting almost 23.5 hours out of a day. I don't use a "eating window" I just eat once and done.

I have done that for so long I am not hunger until about 4. Then I eat- and kitchen is closed. I have my coffee with a slash of coconut milk, then I pump fluid water and hibiscus tea until dinner. I guess if I guzzled a bottle of wine daily there might be an issue,- but I am aware of the carbs and calories and watch that. Yup I considered that too!

I feel like I have given up so much- I am not willing to budge on a glass of wine with my dinner. I look forward to it!!!!
So I came across a term I need to look up- a functional physician.

This lady was writing an article (yes I love to read)- and she went to a functional physical because she went to doctor to doctor who all told her the same thing. There is NOTHING WRONG with you . Your tiredness is all in your head. Your weight gain is because you eat to much, yada yada yada....... Well she found this place that is a little herbal and alternative in natural. But she got tested, and come to find out she had microscopic diverticulitis! And certain foods were to blame. I certainly am not saying I have anything like that. I don't need to spend money for somebody to tell me I don't do dairy!!! HAHAHAHA-

But maybe I have been looking for answers in all the wrong places. Just thinking out loud again. Conventional medicine is used to giving you MAYBE five minutes, a test and you walk out with a new script! NO NO NO - Or like that woman- and myself- everything comes back normal- so I must be the blame! So I will be checking out what is in the Atlanta area. I want to spend my money WISELY- but if it can find me some answers I am willing!

Today thank goodness is a lite day. I am still behind from Friday. My caring meter for the company is on empty. I will get it done, just maybe not on their time frame- MEH........

I spent some time thinking outside the box- on possible job moves- I would love to take my experience to the private sector and work for myself. But I don't know if there is a market for me. Just THINKING........... Bantering around ideas. Nothing standing out just yet. My health is taking precedence. I am too frekin young for this. I look at Lori and her healthy life style and work outs and want to get back to that too!

One thing I AM considering is going part time. ONCE I have enough money to supplement that- that could be a possibility. Not forever- just a while. the thing is they would extent out that college tuition out twice as long- so I dunno. Just more thinking.

Picked up 2 videos for beginner workouts for seniors!!!! HAHAHAHA- I gotta start somewhere! HEHEHEHE-
They even had a Richard Simmons dance with the oldies video- Ha I might need to pick that one up too!

Well gals- gotta start my day.

Food: 6oz salmon, 1.5- 2 cups of green beans (that is a lot!). 6 oz red wine, = thinking 10 carbs or less and calories 800 calories max
Pickle if wanted- 10 calories
all the coffee and sugar free LaCroix sparkling water.

I am back on it- not giving up on me- just needed some rest! Will be researching the alternative routes now. I need to weed out the quacks.

Have a great day! Safe travels NIC!

Lori your trip is coming at ya fast I know you are chomping at the bit to get rollling. Nothing worse than that few days before when you are SO ready to get the trip going and that day hasn't come. Yea, the hubby's are big boys and they can feed themselves HAHA

Your hard lard will budge. Just keep up the plan and the eating from your trip might shake ya up a bit so when you come home and get on a stricter hold you probably will lose a decent bit more. hold strong on it all

Blue glad your meds are helping and you are improving. I know the sinus troubles sure stink I was shopping with kiddo at the mall yesterday and she tried on this nice lightweight jacket which we bought and I said zip it up....and I got all lightheaded and woozey and DIZZY at that point, I thought I was going down. I grabbed the rack bar and steadied myself. My head was just in my normal heavy as a bowling ball and clogged mode. But after I shook it off I was ok thru the rest of the mall but then I get so tired from the sinus episodes I just wanna sleep. Hope to see ya back and chatting full form. Sinus can wear one out

Jaz, A TON of your tired is also mental. Truly mental. When overwhelmed, trying to hit a small goal I can't do, feeling the job is horrible mentally with the boss pricks and actually a physical on the road job that takes it toll on you....no wonder you are so OFF and TIRED. I absolutely get it. You are one step from depressed. Everything is out of whack for you. You have been waiting for friggin' Oct to get here and see if you are on the layoff list.....but ya know.....maybe you should hit the job lists and go interview somewhere. No clothes for interview....lol....then go out and buy 1 damn outfit that is comfty, wear it to ALL job interviews and go get out of this killer job. Whatever it takes. F the money for the school. Cry poor and pay them back like $150 a month til paid off.....and if they want it back in one lump sum, tell them to sue ya for it then the judge will grant you payments at that time anyway I think you are mentally burned to the ground Jaz. Dieting/smieting…you ain't there in the right zone anymore. I think you are overwhelmed, overworked and in sore need of like 2-3 weeks off between jobs. Maybe it is time to truly go get any friggin' job just for a damn change. I think there is a time tho when you must walk away and one thing, with your skills you WILL find some work out there point blank. I never feel you will be wihtout a paycheck long with your career.....so just some thoughts.....take what ya need from it and throw away the rest


HI everyone

went to the mall. she got some good tshirts but damn, almost $40 for a stinking tshirt....come on ya know. I ain't liking those prices. Spent around 350 or so....she got a good bit, few new jeans, etc.....so good for her right now.

one thing tho caught me.....in the dressing room she tried on a pair of elastic waist cargo pants that were 'in and cool' and she didn't like them on her....first of all they were a size too big and they didn't have one size down on the rack so that wasn't helping in her fit...…but she was hemming and hawing if to buy them and then she says I wish I was smaller. I thought oh hell here we go....I told her she has a great shape, she sure as heck is not overweight at all....wanted to say...ALL YOU have to do is tone up a few areas for a more tight body BUT I kept my mouth shut on that one cause I remembered long ago after losing 70lbs and feeling so much thinner and in a good place, I asked hubby how great did I look? and he said fabulous but if you just toned up a bit....and I just sank into a horrible nasty area in my mind. Ya know, the not good enough area after all of my hard success? yea I do that to myself, I know LOL but I sure didn't want to say the same damn thing to her.....so I said be thankful all those years I said no more gummie bears, no more sweet tea, drink water now, no more chips etc., you had enough of them today. I said you could be 2-3 sizes bigger than ya are right now and you and me ARE not small framed skeletons. We have the bigger bones literally and are not the petite framed person so you have to keep it all in context and she says....yea I get all that, I am cool with it. And then she is wanting her shirts tight.....she totally discovered her boobs and the power they hold~! She wants tighter up in the shirt to show off the good rack of boobs she has, makes her waist look way tinier and gives that knockout type look. Ahhh, yes she figured that out So I said so cool you are finally getting into some clothes and she says, Nope. My friend Halley said I had to get some other things cause I didn't have enough and I figured if she said I needed stuff then I did....omg...you know LOL
She got great jeans I FOUND....the mom who has the worst taste found 2 pairs of fab jeans that suit her so well. I said no matter what your shape, the fit of the clothes is key here and you have to try on alot of crap before you find the ones that suit you so well and she was like, I hate that and I was like but all jeans or shits are never created equal LOL and you have no choice.

Then since the I want to be smaller is on my mind and I am all sad cause of it in my brain knowing those thoughts....well at least I think she might be thinking some of the old crap I think.....I said why do you want to be smaller? She said Halley got wrote up for a clothing violation at school on her shorts. She stands and they are longer, you know the arms at side and where your fingers land that should be the length of your shorts....well hers were that length but when sitting they rode up and they wrote her up....and kiddo and her are all pissed cause she said the super skinny gals can wear anything, while the fatter ones are written up. I said Halley ain't fat cause I know her and she is bigger but sure as heck not fat and you ain't either and why would be considered a write up when the skinny's can wear it all....she said there is a fat discrim. at school and I am thinking, omg welcome to the real world and how nasty it can be. So I said what do the skinny wear and she said 1/2 crop shirts with their bellies showing and if we wear it, we get written up but they don't violate the skinnies....oh boy....I said first of all you don't know they don't get written up, second of all they are higher classmen and probably give them a tad more leeway than freshman starting, and some other junk....omg made my head spin on it all. So I found her a pair of higher rise jeans and they come up higher on her and she can now wear the crop tops and not show belly and still be in cool modern style clothes the kids wear and she was thrilled with that.

She went to school in the new tight crop shirt and new jeans and I thought, oh hell I gotta get out the shotgun soon....she has a nice shape and I know the guys are gonna notice LOL shoot me now please....

well just spewing my adventures with a teenage girl....I was one...I get it but so far I think she has a good head on her shoulders so...will wait and see how further things go.


today is DOWN food day. around 500 kcals
broth thru day and one big meal later. going with 4 oz sautee chicken, 8 brocc florets, 1/4 cup alfredo, some sprinkled parm. Done. Comes in around 440-450 and broth will do the rest.

Doing well on EOD

I marked the Sept and Oct on my hanging calendar with U and D so I know where the hell I am at all times. yea, lol, I am starting to forget if it is up or down and can't remember what I ate the day before....sad huh....lol

I am reading all labels and kitchen scale is out and doing the work required.
feel interested in it
not letting carbs in right now except for a few veg I have to rely on to make the 'diet meals' work in my favor

so far so good on it all

heading off to hit store for school crap she needs for a project in world history.....honors class and she is at 100 on it all so doing well on that front.

great day all

Trig- Congratulations on being down 4!! That is amazing. I think I cross posted with you before. You are doing awesome!

You unpacked a lot on your post about your DD and weight, and clothes, and body discrimination and body image and all of those things. These high school years are rough on girls. I love the way you gave her feedback but let her talk freely and openly. Well done, my friend. You are a good mama!

Jaz- Oh honey child, I just want to hug your neck. You are trying to hard and are just so completely overwhelmed. I hate that you feel this way and I wish I could wave a magic wand and make things better for you. I'm glad you have some days off to look forward to.

Glad Bella is doing better! I gotta say, I am sort of dreading heading into the heat of ATL. Ugh!

Blue- So glad you are feeling better and turning a corner. You have been sorely missed!

Lori- You are going to have such fun on your trip! I am looking forward to it for you. You are lucky to have a sister that you get on with so well! I wish you many more years of that. I know she is a good bit older than you. You probably help keep her young! Enjoy your UP day!

•••••••

Last weigh in as I leave on my trip today and I am down 1.2 for a total of 5 pounds down in 13 days. I have absolutely NO complaints about EOD at all so far. That being said, yesterday was a valuable lesson day for me. The day before was not a great food choices day AND I stopped eating at around 3 PM even though the next day was a Down day.

Thus, the Down Day was a battle.. the first DD that really felt hard to me. I felt hungry most of the day, even though I finished up at 800 calories for the day, perhaps slightly less but only slightly.

Some things for me to know/do in the future:

Make sure I eat more protein on Up days. It's fine to have a treat or whatever but it needs to be more balanced.

Make sure not to stop eating too early in the day. I think if I had eaten something of value around 6 or so, that would have helped also. Stopping at 3 works well if you are eating a decent amount of food the next day, but it did not serve me well for a down day.

My wraps will continue to be a go-to part of my DDs. I got two Lean Cuisine meals for my DD that were higher calorie (one 290, one something like 260) because I thought it would be almost like a treat as they were comfort food types. Well, they did not hold me. Neither one. On all the other DDs I have done a Lean Cuisine in the evening with a wrap at lunchtime and those wraps are wonderfully filling.

I did have a nice weight drop, which is great, but not when I am trading it for a day that feels this hungry. Well, maybe... but I haven't liked it. I'm not a big fan of minor suffering.

I will not be able to carry off 500 calorie days on this trip. I am not an OMAD person. I am going to focus on trying to make more good choices than bad and watching portions. Then I will get right back on track with a DD when I get back and move forward from there.

Fortunately we will be doing some hiking and such for the mountain part of the trip also. My Mom's house will be a whole lot of nothing going on and feeling trapped. Help me!!

Okay gotta go. I need to stop at the bank to pick up DS17's social security card so he can do some tax stuff for this new job that is taking freaking forever to start. They have switched to a new system and it is awful to get started. I also need to pack and shower. Can you say PROCRASTINATION? Knew you could!

Nic...awesome loss....5 lbs!! I'm so glad I have you guys to commiserate with on this UD, DD plan.

Today was an UD for me, and I'm sure I had close to 2000 calories today. Full! All LC, but just a lot. I'm actually looking forward to my DD tomorrow. Maybe that is part of the secret to this plan. After being full, you look forward to the empty feeling the next day.

Trig...another shopping trip! It doesn't take long to add up to $$$. Sounds like DD is coming into her own. Oh those teen years.....buckle your seat belt! You'll be fine. You have a good relationship with her and that is so important during the teens.

Jaz...hope your Monday was good. You said your eating yesterday was a typical day for you. Does that mean that you usually eat less than 1000 calories every day? Just wondering....it's really none of my business. Just trying to figure out why the weight won't budge for you. I know you know what you're doing and will figure it out.

Blue....hope today found you feeling much better. You've been down for far too long.

Tomorrow will be a pedicure and laundry as well as finishing up my packing. I'll make something easy for DH for dinner since I won't be eating much...probably eggs for me. I may go get him some ham loaf at a local restaurant that has that as their special on Tuesdays.

I want to shove off around 9 on Wednesday. The last few days before vacation are torture!

Hi y'all!

Oh man, you guys have been wonderfully prolific. Been reading away for the last hour and finally got caught up.

K-mom--- So great to hear from you! Hope we'll see you more here, really do.

Jaz---I just want to echo Trig here. I think you are such a bubbly fun gal that sometimes it's hard to notice, even for yourself, when you're feeling down---and I think it gets cumulative so you don't notice just how down and overwhelmed, stressed and depressed you're feeling.

During times like this my best words of love and care to you are JUST CHOP WOOD, CARRY WATER. By which I mean slow down a bit on the head trip thing---trying to figure it all out at once. Take care of your personal comforts, which you are good at---crisp new sheets, good book/movie, clean house, and REST. It's OK if you need a lot of sleep right now, you have a lot on your plate.

Also agree w/Trig, get one good interview outfit. Doesn't have to break the bank or your savings. I have an idea for you, if I can find the link will send. Then you're prepared if something blows up fast, which is not unusual. Any word from that woman who was looking to make a job for you?

In any case honey, I also echo Nic w/a big hug to you. This too shall pass, and btw, I think the heat you are living under is a VERY oppressive and depressive player in this game.


Trig---OMG, yeah, my heart just pinged for you having that discussion w/your daughter. And you did SO WELL at it, imo. And so did she! She's a smart little gal to know NOT to drown her figure in big tenty clothing, but rather learn to show off her assets. Still, it's hard when faced w/adolescent doubt, feel like you're on a tight rope trying to say the right thing. But I've never met a teen who thought he/she was looking just great. Even the gorgeous ones to our eyes will pop up w/some imperfection that drives them crazy.

Heh, I'm right w/you on the frozen meals. Most of them are terrible, imo. Although I do think Nic is right in that the more carby ones are much better. ie, the pasta ones. Still, the portions are tiny.

I'm like you in that if I was doing this EOD thing I'd save the whole minuscule 500 for dinner, w/the exception of like you said, maybe a bit of broth to get me thru. But I too would rather pick where those 500 calories come from than buy it in a box.

I love that this experiment is jazzing you up---I can feel it from here, and CONGRATS on the 4 pound loss. That certainly ups one's mojo. I like your plan of not weighing for the next month and doing your best w/this new experiment.

Seems like there is a lot to learn about DDs, what works, what doesn't. And even the UDs need some experience w/it to know it. Do agree w/Lori, probably pretty important to make sure you're eating ENOUGH ON UDs because I think this whole plan depends on following it on BOTH DAYS.

Lori---Wow, you sure started something here w/the EOD thing. I just love reading all about it. Don't know it it would be right for me and this is not the time to try it, but I'm loving learning all about it. You, Nic and Trig have all had good results so far. As I said above, I do think eating enough on UDs is important. And I really liked your link that makes the point about the difference between fasting and eating uber low cal.

I can see how one's stomach and appetite would shrink somewhat w/this plan, which is great. But what no one wants is to have their metabolism simply lower itself to make up for less calories!

Nic---You're on your way by now to have a blast w/your GFs---and in great style w/a suite all to yourself! Oh man, I'm super Jealy in a loving way.

I'm also just so happy to see this EOD plan work so well for you, WITH GREAT RESULTS, so far, and big congrats on that. So cool to see my gals getting a freaking whoosh for a change!

Your pix of the wrap and apple looked just perfect for a DD for me. I would so be about that if I ever did this. So many things you can put in a wrap to change it up, even if you have to keep the cals lower. And it just feels substantive to me, like having a fresh sandwich.

But for now, just enjoy your vacay w/your pals, and then do your best to get thru mom. :/ I think I already said this, but it seems like it would be so nice to come home to A PLAN, no matter what happens on vacay.

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So sick of talking about being sick. Am feeling better, but am suspicious of how long it will last as it keeps circling around and biting me in the butt! Hardest part is lack of energy, the rest of the discomforts are mostly gone. I am sleeping A LOT. Jazzer and me---the sandman's fave gals.

Lori---I got some of those "sandwich thins." Eager to try them out. Sort of wish I'd gotten the Italian, but got the reg to begin with. Sometimes when I do the flavors on these things they are too strong for me. but I figure I can add spices w/the butter.

Also tried another non pasta pasta. Good news---it's fab. Bad news, way higher in carbs than I thought it would be and shame on me for not checking. Just got carried away by all the great reviews. So I'm eating it tonight anyway, w/shrimp, Rao sauce and grated cheese.

OMAD day for me, a bit higher in carbs than I like, but real good on cals. My appetite is weird w/this sick stuff. I think I want to eat, but then when I do, it just doesn't taste that great to me. So good news is even though last week was not a great woe week, I didn't gain anything from it. Simply because I didn't eat that much of anything, even the carby stuff.

Fingers crossed I'm on the mend and will be here much more often, as always loving chatting away.

Good Morning!

One day closer to vacation! I'll go get my toes all pretty today, pack my duffel bag & be ready to hit the road.

Oh....Eureka!! After my big eating day yesterday, where I know I had close to 2000 calories...scale is down 1/2 lb! This is my first loss after an eating day. I have high hopes that after today's diet day the scale will dip. I don't typically weigh after an eating day, but I just had a feeling this morning.

Blue.....I hope you like the sandwich thins. I found that putting them in the air fryer for a few minutes really firmed them up. I think you could probably do them in a pan on the stove top too...or the regular toaster. I'll probably eat 1 today for my DD meal. On Sunday I made an egg sandwich using one of them.

You reminded me of the Palmini "pasta" that I bought. I'll be getting back into that when I return from vacation. It is quite good with some Rao's sauce and very filling!

I'll be back for more personals later after you all post. Coffee time!

Oh Jaz.....one more thing. I don't know if you watched that YouTube video that I linked, but the Dr. that does those videos is from Georgia. I think the town is Cumming. His name is Dr. Sten Ekberg. He is a Holistic Dr.....whatever that means. I have watched a lot of his videos and he seems so genuine and is a proponent of LC eating. He has such a great way of explaining things so that the average person can understand the complexities of the body. I think you can go to his website and actually make appointments to see him. Not sure if that's something you'd be interested in, but wanted to throw it out there.

Later!

Nicco it was interesting to read how you got caught in between the Up and Down days. very smart to be more balance somehow on the up day and it helps control the down days more. I get ya on that.
Your trip sounds wonderful! Enjoy your mountain hiking...ahh, I still can't hike yet. SO HOT here. Just isn't time yet for me to start up again yet. I am getting batty waiting for temp drops here LOL Your moms house, , come online and chat away. Maybe we can entertain ya a bit
Super congrats on the lbs down! I also tho ain't into any kind of suffering for 'dieting' anymore, I so hear you on that. I ain't got it in me anymore. Only thing I do say to myself now when hungry and I know in my mind I had enough food ya know, to support my body, is that I got more than enough weight on me to NOT eat anything else today and that my body can easily keep me alive and fine til I get food later down the line. You know, I basically say, come on ya old heifer, you can do this and even if a little discomfort, who are ya kidding here. You can easily go without food a bit, it is the being surrounded by food and being bored in the house or something like that which really brings it to the forefront. I now have to find ways of distracting me when needed LOL We can make this all work tho for each of us...we will find our best ways to get into a good working plan that suits us well.

Lori, so agree the few days before leaving on a trip are torture! You sound so ready to go. Good times are coming your way.

Congrats on being down again! Means your body is liking this new way you are eating....love it!

Blue, yea the girl teen conversations are just wonky ya know, in that, I hate seeing her 'see the real world' out there and it is 'she's skinny' or 'this or that' and gets treated way different than someone who is 'more chunky' than her friend and she puts herself in that category with her friend Halley. UGH...if they can just be shielded forever but they can't....thing is to find a comfortable way to make it thru this world and I tell her over and over again, DO NOT listen and accept to be judged by others ever. This is your life, your deck of cards and you must play the game according to what you have and be super happy about that. Change the few things personally you might want to change in your life as you deem fit without pressure to do so, personal preferences you want....and not worry about any cards in the deck you can't change....as in other's ways of judging, their opinions and more. Yea a balancing act on it all for sure

Yea the frozen meals are tough for me. I just don't find ones that set well. I mostly love the alfredo ones but I don't want noodles etc. I am so worried ot head back into the carb game again, I ain't got it in me to go there.

Sorry your taste buds are off. I get that. I hope you are on the mend sooner than later now. But it can drag out so keep resting and getting thru it all best ya can


HI ALL

kinda boring day here
some chores to handle
hubby taking his mom to a Dr appt or something, who knows, I don't keep track of all his crap too much LOL

guess what. we got termites. yea. so to start, $1,200 for initial work on eradicating. then if they are more around that could easily increase. heaven help me. shoot me ok please LOL so waiting to see what goes down on that.

EAT day. I went over yesterday, maybe 750 kcals? I was hungry as heck and couldn't talk myself out of having something extra......so today I am eating but controlling kcals tight.

8 oz ribeye comes in around 600 kcals
then a ton of peel eat shrimp with some cocktail sauce will be about 500 and then if needed, I have some salami and chunk cheddar as a filler snack if wanted, and yes I will probably eat it today and that will be around 400 or so and that leaves me with about 1500 or so today to make up for yesterday.

will be fine. I am working my way around this plan and making it work with me, not against me, we shall see how it all goes down

off I go...ugh...got a sinus headache. head like a bowling ball. my car is yellow, pollen is crazy here. no rain for a long time, everything is pollen covered and my head knows it LOL bleck

Good Tue Morning!

TRIG- I am SO proud of the way you handled your daughter. I swear, it only takes ONCE to say something wrong and we as women take it and hang onto that. Perfect example: When your hubby said- just tone up, after you lost all that weight!

The thing I thought was funny is that your kiddo discovered her boobs and what power they yield!!!! Lordy Lordy this is the beginning!
Oh the fat shaming thing- I wish it wasn't so. I hate she is figuring out that it is TRUE that the skinny girls do get away with crap a curvy girl can't.

I think it is getting better, as most women are now a size 14 and up. But the kiddo is getting a real look at life and you are doing a wonderful job!!!!
I too have raised a daughter. I was SO careful to not EVER tell her anything related to her body, EVER. I was also careful not to be critical of MY body in front of her. These gals watch how we feel about ourself too!!!
Awesome job! I am glad she found some clothes!

The job advice- yup yup yup on every count!!!! I take in all in! You ladies are truly my rock right now!

You have your calendar marked!!! - HAHAHAHA- girl I barely remember what I ate yesterday!!

BLUE- - SO SO SO happy to see a juicy long post from you! I know you will pick up from your WOE right where you left off!
Is your hubby feeling better too??????

Lori- - I want to pack myself in your suitcase and pop out on a beach chair!!!!!!!!!!- TAKE MEEEEEEEE!!! - !!!!!- Seriously though have a GREAT time and SAFE travels! Enjoy a beer on the beach and forget about it- it's VACAY!!!!- Your WOE will be here when you get back trust me!!!!!
You are so good about sharing your pics too! I love that!

Oh to answer your question- yes What I wrote is a typical day for me eating wise. I likely don't have more than 1500 calories on any day- it sits usually around 1100-1200/ and carbs under 20. I make this goal MOST days. (except the day I buried my head in a plate of Mexican and didn't come up for air!)

NIC- - So I had to go find a wrap too! I found one! it is LC! I plan to use it as a stable for me and I truly think it will fit the "sandwich" bill. I found them - I will take a pic and send to all of you. It is called BE FREE- free of gluten, free of wheat, free of dairy - it is made from seeds. calories 110 for a HUGE wrap / Carbs 13 total, Fiber 6= 7 NET carbs (for BLUE) . I seriously LIKE them. I can even handle the Total carbs if that is the only carb of the meal. Like if I put ham, tuna, sloppy Joe in it!

Enjoy your girls time too! Safe travels for you too!!!!!!

KMOM-
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OK- I am hearing ya all on my "attitude". I so appreciate the feedback. I think that when someone in knee deep in "muck" it's hard to see it.

So I am going to LABEL this next part as: DON'T YOU HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS............ Put your coffee done- I would hate for you all to spit coffee from your nose.

Soooo............. Yesterday................
Well I took the advice that BLUE gave me once. Write a letter and just let it all hang out!
I got pushed again hard about my productivity yesterday and "lost it". You can't bleed from a turnip- I have nothing left to GIVE.

So I came home after seeing patients all day. Ate my dinner and fumed.
So I sat down, poured a HEFTY glass of wine and started writing my little heart out. ALL of my frustrations. All of what is truly WRONG with this program. What a duma$$ my manager is. Oh yea...... It GET BETTER......
How this program is all about number rather than quality of care for patients, and it's going down in flames!

But wait there's more............ I SENT IT- ALL THE WAY UP THE FOOD CHAIN- and then collapsed into bed.

Woke up this morning feeling really LIGHT, until I remembered THAT EMAIL. OH DEAR GOD..........
No need for my to worry about Oct. Today is most likely my last day.
I hit SEND ALL- all the top brass! Told them what I thought of them! YUP I sure did.

I wish I was a fly on the wall when they open the email this morning- I bet they spit their coffee. I guess I shouldn't be laughing- but I am. I really am.

That is why I titled this segment- don't you hate when that happens. I went ALL in.
Blues advice was to pen a letter- not hit SEND ALL - no.....My finger just had to push that button.

So...... I wait for the chips to hit the floor. First thing I am going to do is file for unemployment and take off 2 weeks and just do some hiking, walking the dog- and hang out with the kiddos. I might even go up to Ohio for a few days. REGROUP and find myself again!

Believe it or not- I am not even on edge. I am relieved. Granted that was not the most lady like way to lose a job. Go big or go home right? So I have a full day packed full of patients. I would imingine they have to get with HR- to put their ducks in a row. Gotta love corporate bulls!t. gives me a few more days on the paycheck.

I will be shopping for a interview outfit! YUP- your right TRIG! Just get one!

So.......... that was the highlight of yesterday! Oh and I was on plan 100%

WOE: yesterday was totally on plan. I know that right now I can't do the up/down thing. I just have gone back to a basic flat out induction. Concentrating on leaner cuts of meat and greens. I need a little green- not alot. Just enough to fill the holes.

ok gotta go- no tummy troubles today.

Cross posted with Lori and TRIG!!!!!!-

Lori- I am VERY VERY interested in that Dr. From coming- that is like 30 minutes from me. I WILL be checking him out! Thanks so much!!!!

Trig- wait till ya read my post! Ya I took advice alright!!!!! SURE DID!!!! - Might be dress shopping tomorrow!

Gotta run- at least for a few days anyway. I expect to hear from HR today or tomorrow.
Yup gave the finger to all the bosses- sure did burn down those bridges. No- I BLEW them up.

NEXT CHAPTER: Rather cleansing actually!!!!!!

HOLY CRAP ON A SHINGLE HERE JAZZ

YOU SENT THAT EMAIL and you unloaded it all on them?


yea I hear ya. Enough is enough and you got good bank....you were so smart to bank a ton before you flipped

get the one interview outfit and go find yourself a decent job when you are 'fully recovered' from being worn out.

you got this, I, in a way am actually not worried about you.

darn right file for unemployment IF they fire ya I sure as heck would also....and use it for a while. You put into the system you can take some out of the system since ya went into crazy land from this job....I so get that!!!

you will be ok, I know you will. When change must happen it finds a way....you blew up and are happy a change will come from it....I again so get that

cool

you will be fine I am sure and will be so darn interesting to see what responses you do get from all this mess

take care

oh and who really cares what their responses are in a way cause you have mentally moved WAY past them that is a good thing LOL

cool

Jaz, Oh dear! Since you feel better for sending it, I guess I will start with I'm glad you feel better and feel like there's a load off of you. I almost feel like they still won't fire you, but I have no idea. I hope there is a chance of getting a reference if they do but maybe not after that letter.

Those wraps sound good for you! I'm not a seed girl myself but I think it is well in keeping with your goals and what you like. Great find!

Lori- Ham loaf? What is that? Is it sort of like Spam, maybe? I don't have a point of reference for Ham Loaf. lol

Congrats on the half pound down! I do think that eating well on the Up days is important and for no other reason than now F'ing with the metabolism and thyroid too much by keeping calories too low for too many days. Plus, lets you loosen those reins every other day.

Blue- I'm actually glad to hear you are sleeping a lot. You need to, to fully recover. Like you said, it keeps coming around to bite you in the butt and you don't want or need that again!

Curious what your pasta find was. You are doing really, really well holding your loss with your sickness. I am pretty sure I would have been face down in comfort food!

Trig: "come on ya old heifer" lololololol Girl I love you.

I join the others on the Kudos for your approach with your DD. Level headed, honest and fair, and supportive. I bow down.

Sucks about the termites, for sure. Ugh. Sorry about that. Come sit with me on the expensive home repairs bench, although ours is running about 30K. Whoo hoo.

•••••••

Well, I'm in ATL. Off on my own this morning as the plans we made last night before bed were deep-sixed by my Mom, who said she would get up at 8 this morning so we could get stuff done and then bailed out. I took her keys and left- I'm going to go to her house and go through the file cabinet to see if I can find the car title. Took about 45 minutes to get out here from her DH's house.

So... his house. It could be a very nice place. It's a rancher, which I like, and the ceilings are high (not often the case in older ranchers) with really nice sized rooms. Unfortunately it is already becoming trashed, or maybe it already was, I have no idea. What I can tell you, though, is that the bedroom I am in is unclean, months of dust, the sheets hadn't been changed (I asked thank God, they were nasty once I pulled the comforter back.) Apparently there are roaches etc as well too. I attempted to sleep last night and got maybe two hours. My eyes were itchy, my throat was scratchy and I literally didn't want to touch anything. Mind you I am not a neat freak. I can easily go two weeks between dustings and let the cleaning crew do it etc. But I am talking how many months of dust? A year? More? The air smelled bad and I was just freaking at the thought of a roach crawling around me or my stuff during the night.

So, I'm getting a hotel for my remaining two nights. I really don't want to hurt her Dh's feelings so I will just say I am having a reaction to something or another in his house and leave it at that.

My Mom's house is bad. Not as bad as I have ever seen it, but not good. Hoarding level 6/10? And again, the air quality is horrendous. Dust a mile thick, unclean. I am going to go through the file cabinet and also brought a couple of trash bags to throw things out from her refrigerator because I opened it briefly and saw moldy things in there.

Physically she is clearly unwell. Needed to hold onto a cart to walk briefly through Costco and had to stop to get her breath. I don't even know. She makes very poor food choices and such. She is my monkey but an adult monkey who knows better, so not my circus.

That's about it from here. It is what it is.

Oh Nic.....I would be like you and heading for a hotel. I hope you can find the paperwork that you need.

Ham loaf is like meat loaf, but made with ground ham rather than ground beef. It is delicious. Made with eggs, bread or cracker crumbs etc. I won't be eating any since it's a diet day, but DH will enjoy it.

Just having my MCT oil in coffee and it's about 1PM. I'll hold off as long as I can before making a couple eggs for dinner and that will be that for the day.

Pedicure is done and I have my washer spinning. Cleaned the bathroom this morning and have all the cat food stocked for DH. I try to take care of everything I can so he doesn't have any issues while I'm away. He's such a doll about not minding when I go off on girl trips.

I'll check in later tonight.

Lori, I am excited for you. I know you will have a good time. I try to do the same for my DH when I am gone, if I can.

So is ham loaf salty?

I am now ensconced at the lovely Holiday Inn Express in Fayetteville. It's a perfectly fine place and most importantly it is clean. I'm paying a price for clean but hey, I'll pay it.

My Mom has decided she is sick, thinks she 'picked something up at dinner last night' and so she is not getting up today. Okay, this is exactly why I brought things to do to occupy my time.

I did honestly feel badly when I told her DH that I was leaving to go to a hotel. I never want to intentionally hurt someone's feelings or insult them. I told him I felt like I was having an allergic response to something in the room and left it at that, which is not really untrue, but I still felt pretty horrible about it. He is a nice guy but I don't want to be hanging out with him alone in a filthy house.

No title found in the file cabinet but plenty of other random junk including bank statements of my Grandmother who passed in 1998. I cannot begin to tell you how much work it will be to clean this place out one day.

Okay, I'm gonna just chill out for the rest of the day. Maybe I'll see her DH for dinner, maybe not. Whatever.

TRIG- Yup, I knew you would get it. You can only take so much day after day after day and then the ballon pops.
I have 4-5 references from there I can use, 2 of which are managers, one is a medical direct and the other is a co-worker.

Yea I really did purge my feeling in the most effective way I know. Through writing. I was therapeutic.
Guess what the response has been? CRICKETS.......... nada, zip. Waiting for the shoe to drop.

I do feel better. First time in weeks no tummy issues. I have this peace, that whatever happens- I'm good! I took a hard look in the mirror this morning and you know what. I said that too: YOU GOT THIS !!!!!- I do!

Maybe not the best way to do it- but ya know what, not of it was untruthful. I just didn't have to handle it that way. But I did and I just need to move forward.

NIC- You are in Atlanta!!! Welcome to heat! I am so sorry you had to deal with all that! Remember I am a phone call away and can come to you if you need a get away! Even if it is just for an hour!
Sorry sweetie- I get the monkeys MORE than you know!!!!!!
I am more than sure you can't wait to get the hello out of dodge!!!!

Enjoy your girls weekend and SHAKE IT OFF!!!!!!!!!-

LORI- ham loaf- sounds so interesting. What to you think of Hello Fresh? You got yourself a keeper with girl trips!!!!!
So enjoy your trip!!!
---------------------------------------------
a cool front in the mid 80's tomorrow! OMG yes!

Dinner was one wrap/ leftover salmon/ guacamole - that was it. Lemon water and Lacroix

Saw all but one patient - 4 charts to do. Then propping up feet.

Next taking BLUES advise- chop wood/ carry water- I got that loud and clear.

OFF to chart and relax!