Hey there...glad you found this forum! You might know me from MM; I started the blog and I used to post as MM_UK and still occasionally do but not on the main list.

Yes, dieting is very much like moderating drinking, although there are those who would say that controlled drinking is not a "legitimate" option since alcohol is not necessary to survival but food is. But I say it's a quality of life issue.

Feel free to drop by my journal anytime--I post here way more than I post on anything MM related right now.

Emily

Hi Emily!!!!!!!!

I guess MM has already been explained pretty well by you. I also want to say I love this site. MM is a very basic site, we can also e-mail each other directly. I guess here we do it through the journal, which I have to start. Anyway, I think people aware that there are alternatives to AA, including other abstinence based programs such as Smart and Women for Sobriety. I for one am very hesitant to slap a label on myself, there still is a stigma to "alcoholic", and my experience in AA was a feeling of humiliation, at least for me. I also am able to get daily support through MM, kind of like I do in this group. I live in an isolated area, and am having a difficult time, and MM has been a lifesaver at times.
Good to "see" you Emily.
This is an extremely long thread. I guess drinking issues are more common than we might think.
-R.M.

I obviously have not read every post in this thread but I have an interest. I've been in recovery for a good bit of time.

Addiction is an interesting thing... What I've learned in my time is that it can be deceptive

Woman : I only drink a few glasses of wine!!
Men: I only drink Beer (ME!!)

It's not what you drink it's what your heart tells you about your drinking!! If it bothers you... You got a problem..

Help is all around and it's obviously here on this board too!

Admitting your "problem" is the first big step.. Believing what you admit is the next hurdle...1 step at a time....

There are many ways to deal with a problem, though, once you've admitted to yourself that you need to address it...this applies to weight problems as well as drinking problems.

Hi all
I was glad to find this thread as I was wondering if there were many 'recovering' low carbers out there. I have been sober 13.5 years, I stopped smoking about 9 years ago using the same 12 step programme principles and now it feels like it's my time to tackle my weight, also a day at a time.

In some ways I feel my experiences in recovery are helpful as I have the 24 hour approach for the physical aspect of dieting and the prayer and meditation to deal with the emotional factors, but sometimes I can find myself using the excuse that as long as I don't pick up a drink it doesn't really matter if I eat a chocolate bar. I can't have two primary purposes and if push comes to shove I will go for the chocolate, but really I'm just rationalising what I want to do (eat chocolate).

Carbohydrate addiction makes sense to me, you only have to see how much sugar the average AA meeting gets through to wonder if there is a connection. I think low carbing helps my moods, maybe it's just the feeling that I'm tackling a problem that makes me feel positive and good about myself, or maybe it's a chemical thing, I do know I feel more at peace and in control when I'm not planning my next chocolate binge.

Anyway to all of you out there with any concerns about alcohol, I wish you well, there are many ways of recovering but which ever way you choose it's a positive thing to identify a problem and look at ways of tackling it. Whether you want to drink one or two less glasses of wine a week or go for total abstinence I hope you accomplish your goals.

Wow! So I'm not alone. I was surprised to see how many other women have this problem. Mine started about 10 years ago and I have only been able to stop once during the entire time for about 2 months. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder about 4 years ago and I am on medication for it. I am doing better for it but the addiction to the wine is still there. It has made losing weight very difficult. Also, in addition to the extra carbs and calories that come from the wine, the tendency to cheat and even bringe is greater. I just had it happen last night and I'm sooo depressed. I think its time to find a support group in my area.

At least I know it's not just me.

The depression will clear up a little when the aftereffects of the wine (and the carbs) wear off.

Hang in there. You can get control of this thing, whether you do it by cutting down or by choosing to quit.

Emily

Wow. An incredibly interesting post. I like the idea of finding something other than AA to work with (I know a lot of folks, me included, who it just does not work for). I also bristle at the idea of labeling myself (or having others label me) an "alcoholic." I hate all labels and I refuse to see life through labeling eyes.

That being said, I have learned that you can be sober without stamping a big label on your head. I truly believe that one does not necessarily have to call oneself an alcoholic in order to be sober. I've been sober for about two years and, in my mind, the jury is still out on whether or not I was/am an "alcoholic." And if I am an alcoholic, by who’s standards do I judge myself? Who is to say what is alcoholic behavior or not? I mean, it’s a slippery slope and there is a lot of gray area. People love to pigeonhole you as a drunk and dismiss you, so that you don’t threaten them. For these reasons, I am comfortable refraining from the label for now.

Right on to the ladies who are successfully moderating. That sounds like an interesting group of people with some good thoughts. Unfortunately, I don't think I would ever be able to manage my drinking successfully for the long term. It worked for short periods, but it would continue to escalate during difficult periods in my life. It was kind of like a pendulum, for me. Also, and I mean this in all honesty, if I could give up food tomorrow (and live healthily and happily) and never have to deal with the millions of emotional problems that are linked to food, if I never had to feel guilty about it ever again in my life, if my choices were already made (on a daily level, and in the long term) and I never had to ever ask myself "should I eat that? Is that too much? Will I feel guilt if I do?" I would. And with alcohol, I CAN and DO do that. No more guilt. No more justifications. No more beating myself up. It's like a weight has been lifted from me. Honest.

Hello fellow posters, ( This is long, sorry)

Wow... I can't believe this thread is still alive. I just wanted to add that I have within the last 2 1/2 weeks weaned myself out of drinking wine at night before bed. I never drink during the day because I simply could not function if I did.
Night drinking for me as you know if you read this thread, is just so I can totally relax, get a buzz, and fall asleep.

Well about a month ago a good friend had dinner with us several nights in a row...he has always been much more of f drinker than me. Day and night. Not fall down drunk, but like a nurser.

His daughter was in a bad car accident in Boston, and he and his wife had spent 8 days in the hospital with her, they did not drink!

WHen he was here for dinner with us, each night my DH would offer him (his favorite( red wine. He declined and said that since he spent 8 days without, he was experiencing the best sleep he has had in a very long time. He had no problem getting to sleep because the accident took so much out of him, that he was exhausted and welcomed sleep at the end of the day.

I payed a lot of attention to him. Deep sleep is what I was trying to get.... Oh sure I would fall asleep... but then around 4am I was wide awake, tossing and turning for the next 2 hours. Not good!

( Besides you simply cannot lose weight on this diet when you are drinking, and menopausal)
Anyway..weight loss being at a stand still for months, no matter how had I tried.... I caught a real good glipmse of my big fat gut in the mirror one morning while getting dressed. I couldn't believe how bad it looked....It actually scared me...why was it so big? I am NOT a big eater.... Had to be the wine!

My thoughts about my friend and how he felt about the wine, and sleep, just made me decide to wean myself off instead of just quitting....

Well I have to admit I am taking 1/2 of a xanax every day around 7 pm...
I have had xanax for about 10 years....( probably th same bottle ) I have always suffered from anxiety and panic attacks...although as the years have gone by, it's gotten better. I rarely have ever used the xanax, they make me sleepy, and I don't want that during the day.

My perscription allows me to take 3 per day.... I have never done that, I couldn't, I did not want to be dependent on them, and besides most people who have panic and anxiety, for some reason, fight the idea of taking any medication! It's Just the way we are.

Anyway to get on with it.... I only take half of a pill before I leave work...it takes about 2 hours for it to work, and it is barely noticible, but I have found that around 10pm I am sliding off to sleep on the couch in front of the TV... at first I was having a glass of wine at that hour, and would wake up and realize that the wine was only half full. I would say I'm too tired to finish, and I would go to bed instead.

Well night before last, I had just 1/4 of the xanax and no wine. Last night I had no xanax and no wine.... guess what, I fell asleep in front of the TV at 10:30pm ...so I got up and off to bed I went.

I am sleeping through the night, and am not all dehydrated, and dried out during the middle of the night. My dreams are vivid and I don't want them to end... This is heaven to me, I am feeling so good.

This means so much to me. I feel like I have been in training and am finally getting somewhere. The one thing I do know is that I can start fresh on the Atkins plan and probably have it work...

I have tried quitting cold turkey many, many, times, and became very discouraged because I still didn't lose (body was adjusting) and by the 3rd or 4th night of no wine my self was twisting it self around and trying to talk me into drinking before bed ...because I was NOT sleeping at all! SO I always gave in and had the wine.

So to those of you struggling like me... try weaning your self off.... I don't reccommend xanax to anyone.... I have had this medication for a very long time and hardly ever used it... It is addictive, and we don't want to be addicted to something else.... I think a mild O C sleep aid if you need it, will work fine. In fact I am going to see my Doc. and see what he tells me.

Actually maybe I won't need anything, because I did fine for the past two nights without. I just have to remember to learn to relax a little earlier in the evening, and when I'm tired ...to go to the bed!

I'll keep you posted if there are any changes. ~ Osuz

Good for you Osuzana!

I was only having a few drinks during the week and then always on Fri and Sat, maybe on Sunday if we were out with friends. Not having kids DH and I sometimes have way to much free time. I know bite my tongue!!! Now I am allowing myself one weekend night and one week night. On the week night I can only have 2 glasses of wine. (I usually would drink vodka and diet grapefruit but those go down like candy and it's to easy to pour another.) Last week I lost 3lbs! I know it was because I reduced my alcohol intake.

But here is one thing that I have learned about alcohol and sleep. Yes you do get sleepy, but you don't get as rested as you would if you had no alcohol in your system. I read this somewhere and I can't remember the specifics but it totally makes sense that you are feeling more rested and not waking at 4:00 in the morning and not being able to sleep.

Well, good luck to you.

Wee

Booze is a double-edged sword. A glass or two of wine can help you get to sleep. But more than that, and you're likely to suppress your REM sleep, which means you don't wake up as rested in the morning.

Finally success... I have not had a glass of wine or any other alcohol for one month.....I can't believe iv'e done it... and oddly enough, it doesn't bother me. OMG Imagine that!!! I feel great about it!

I have been keeping up with this board but have not posted till now....You are such an inspiration Osuz...i am trying to remain alcohol free and hearing u have done it for a month is so great. I am working on day three !Thanks ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Amy

Congratulations on a month off, and best of luck for continued success. Breaking the daily habit is IMO the toughest part, and you did it.

Emily

Amym,

Thanks for the kudos... Yes, it has been a little miracle (sp?) I have been trying for so long to lick this habit. I can't tell you what triggered the abrupt stop, because I have been doing this for 25 years, and have made attempts before, that only lasted a couple of weeks. This is the longest, and the easiest...

I have absolutely no desire.... I did pray a long time about this, and then one day in the shower (Feb. 21 2004 to be exact) I just said to God... OK I give up, I can see you just want me to do this on my own for some reason.I get that you want me to stop poisioning myself....I had never thought of it this way! I call it DIvine intervention!! And that was the evening I started weaning myself off.

Little by little I quit. Started going to bed about 20 minutes earlier each night. I used to sit there, till the wine put me to sleep. Sleep has been up and down, but I'm OK with that. I wasn't sleeping very good when I drank, so I figured what's the difference..now once I fall asleep, (and sometimes that doesn't happen for a half hour or more), I'm sleeping much sounder, and have fun dreams....Waking up in the morning is such a pleasure.. no heavy head and dragging body!

I'm not gonna say it was a breeze... but it was a lot easier than other times and I don't know why... Except for my prayers to the Higher Power.. the bigger than me, the Creator. ( this is who God is to me)

What amazes me the most, is the fact that I don't even think about it. Can't figure that out. Before when I quit, I would worry all day how I was gonna get through the evening without.
I think one of the reasons I was so compelled was the fact of my weight... When I say I'm not a big eater, I'm not kidding... i don't think I got fat from eating... Up untill 5 years ago I weighed between 148 to 150... then menopause started and so did the nightmare of putting on about 12 pounds a year.... and that was without changing any of my eating or drinking habits.

I was freaking out! What was happening to me? My stomach was so fat I looked like I was 6 months pregnant.... I read several times about alcohol promoting excessive Cortosol in women going thru menopause, causing bloated stomach and weight gain...

So in my mind, I think drinking wasn't doing me any favors...It was literally poisioning me, but that didn't stop me... I just kept following my regular habit. Did not know how to live without it....I would starve sometimes instead of giving up the wine... 2 years ago I did that and lost 20 pounds.... in the long run, I was not feeling well, and even though I lost 20 pounds, I was still bloated and dissapointed... I put it all back on, plus 8 more in the last year and a half... And I work, I own a Salon and I am a busy hairdresser, so I am not sitting on my can all day!!!


This time, I kinda had the attitude that when I poured that glass of wine I was literally pouring poison into my body with every sip... And every time I looked at the glass I thought about that....


Now if I could only get the weight moving... It has been very slow... 21 days
and I have only lost 6 pounds... frustrating I did lose 8, but somehow somewhere, I gained back 2 so now I'm bouncing those 2 pounds back and forth. I figure I will lose them by the end of the month. As soon as the weather improves I will start walking.

As for you and your 3 days.... That is wonderful!!! Just keep doing one day at a time and soon they will all add up and you might look at yourself and say
"Self ... Iv'e come this far, it is silly to go back now!!! Good Luck~ Susan