I've rewarded myself all along, Cazzi - like, getting my bb pierced when I reached Onederland, clothing, hair cuts, and for goal, a little black dress (which I will post a pic of shortly).

Really, though, the best reward is being relieved of my obsession with food and then being able to tell others how I did it. My relationship with my HP has grown immeasurably in the last 19 months - a precious result I hadn't anticipated.

I keep hanging around the halls and on this forum a LOT - service is hugely rewarding in whatever form it takes as my spirituality continues to expand and fill every corner of my life to bursting with joy.

Susanne, I had bought a little black dress on ebay for goal, it is vintage, and black leather bustier top and black ruffled french lace skirt, but it fits me now, so I suppose I will need a smaller little black dress when I get the other 19.5 pounds off I have noticed that I am smaller at this weight then I was on other diets, which is nice.

I just finished putting away the rest of my china from the holiday, It is a lot of work, but after I got sober my sober grandmother, 50 years sober now, told me that the beautiful dinners she gave every year were a gift to the family and a way to make amends to those she had hurt when she was drinking, and I feel that I want to continue the tradition for my children and grandchildren.

Wow...what a gift your grandmother gave you in TELLING you that story.

Yes, she in in her late ninties now, and I still take her out to a meeting when I can get to Maryland to see her, she has been a blessing in all our lifes.

Sigh...the Committee is yapping away today. Ever notice how one small thing (good or bad) can happen and the psyche / disease goes into overtime with sabotage behaviors? Between ditching the guy I met (bad) and reaching goal (good), I'm struggling with the conflicting messages in my own head. Need a meeting bad...

Oh great...now the guy I ditched is bugging me. He continues to think that I'm 'buying it' when he tells me how I see things isn't correct. When I got sober, I swore I'd never let a guy manipulate me like that again and tell me how I should feel (or not) and how I should behave and think.

If I thought the Committee was unruly this afternoon, it's like having loudspeakers in my head now. Sigh...

Hi Diva, since I have been sober, I have ended several realationships, because I can tell if they are not good for me, when I was still drinking, I would cling to a man, any man, for dear life, no matter how he treated me, but I do not have to live that way anymore. I am still seeing Joe, he is also in recovery, and we seem to be good for each other.

It'd be interesting to date someone who is in recovery...what a dimension to add to a relationship....

The Committee has finally shut up. Been very busy with the local group the last few days AND had a long talk with Rob about expectations. We actually had this talk once before. This time will be the last...or I'm gone. I have no time for things/people/relationships that make me feel crazy/like drinking. I've left other friends behind in recovery (even very recently) because anything that sets off that mental craving not only shows me issues I need to work on, but things I need to avoid until I become more spiritually fit in the issue that has arisen.

I've been reading a Pia Mellody book this last week about love addiction. She's written zillions of books about co-dependency and addiction, many of which I've read/own. Very interesting to examine this new 'wrinkle' on addiction. It is a 12-step based program and details extensively the connections between our addictions/ alcoholism and our codependent relationships with others, esp. romantic ones - and what to do to become 'healthier.'

I already have known this has been an issue for me in the past (and a bit uncomfortable to read about myself in the book), but it was also VERY interesting to read, in exhausting and accurate detail, about the very person I've been dating erratically. He's a classic Avoidance Addict, while I (obviously?) am a Love Addict.

Sick, sick, sick...but there is HOPE. I can recover from this addiction too. I like the book...and it has given me the courage to 'just say no' this man. One day at a time, never again...

Any thoughts on this, FOBW??

I used to be more inclined to be with anyone at all, just because I needed to be with someone, after a time in the program I realized that, even if i love something or someone who is bad for me, I need to get away from that, it took a while to be healthy about choices in relationships, but I know that I am much more grounded and sensible now, and that I am with Joe because we like to be together, not because I feel some imperious urge to be with just anyone. It is very nice.

Coming up on my 3rd anniversary, gang...on December 29th!!!!

oh diva, thats so great, I am so happy you found us, we are blessed for having you in the program, Liddie

Merry Christmas, FOBW! I am so glad to have found this thread and this forum, not to mention our mutual friends.

Merry Christmas to everyone here

sorry I haven't been around very much
due to a hectic schedule in college
I am hoping to be better in the new year


Best wishes to all

Annie