Quote:
Originally Posted by Penn
I had "Changed Tribes".
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This is kinda the way I have felt....changing tribes.
It has shifted over time but the first year after I had lost all the weight, found me very confused and angry much of the time.
People who used to be friends with me, were avoiding making eye contact with me...people who used to shun me, were now trying to befriend me. It made me angry!!
I really had to look at the situation dead in the eye and see it for what it was....I had changed in a very big way and people were reacting to the change whether I liked it or not.
Yes, many who are overweight find me a threat and are jealous. While they were rooting me on durng the loss, when my weight got down to where it is now...the rooting stopped. So few of us get to goal...and stay there, I know that most have expected me to balloon up again. So I get comments like " "Oh!, you are keeping it off!"
I've made some new friends...friends who would not have given me the time of day before I lost the weight. Its OK...its just the way it is. 2yrs ago, this would've made me angry.
We feel differently about ourselves and we look very different. People see us differently and react to us in a different way......its not like we have lost 20-30 or 40 lbs. Each of us, so far in this thread, has lost about 100 lbs....that is huge!! Its gotta have an impact on how other people react to us.
Jealousy is so common when it comes to something like this. You can and do, get to see not only who your friends are, but how they deal with their own jealousies. They probably miss our friendhsip but can't show it....too bad for them.
There is a couple who are neighbors of mine. We chatted when we were on the roof deck each summer. The BF is overweight and I'd always been chatty to him. The summer I was first in weight loss mode, we chatted up on the roof...the next summer, he would not look me in the eye. This went on for the past 2 yrs. I fnally asked his GF what was up and she told me that he had told her that since I lost weight, that I stopped saying hello to him! I said "What??!!" I had a feeling it was all about him and his big belly...that my loss threatened him...and I was right. I've had to go out of my way to make sure I say hello to him now...every time I see him. sheeesh!!
Yup...big losses= big changes.... everywhere else in our lives and not just in our weight.