Hi Hear you Wearbear. That is very sad indeed
I lost my brother ~5 years back to suicide. He was type 1. I believe ultimately that modern medicine failed him, the disease killed him (as depression is a part of it), he killed himself because he refused to do what was necessary to manage the disease (ie take his BG, binges on whole boxes of cereal).
I remember when he was alive he almost died due to gang green. he had a splinter he didn't keep an eye on and take care of like diabetics should be doing(especially type 1s). Turned gang green and he lost 2 fingers.
Having Type 1 really sucks!
Many people who are diabetics that I have known, especially the type 1s. Do not measure their BG or manage it. They don't question the doctors or science. And they suffer the consequences like your father.
Furthermore, they all say the same thing I can have it as long as I adjust my insulin accordingly. And honestly, I don't believe the doctor tells them that. I think the doctors say *if* you go over because you are at a party this is what you do.
My dad is type 2 and has started suffering the consequences the last 10 years. Luckily he wasn't as bad as your dad. He suffers nueropathy at the age of 78. But my mom road him all the time about him eating stuff with carbs in it. So she kept him more in check than the doctors.
The sad thing is "credible" organization are giving incorrect medical advice.
Just go to the ADA (american diabetes association) website. They literally say you can have all your favorites fruits and veggies just keep away from the starchy ones. And BTW carrots are not a starchy vegetable to them.
They even say you can have sorbet ice cream as well as a banana.
For me I had to come to acknowledge people make their own choices because I have been surrounded by diabetics and all, but one, did't manage their disease properly even by ADA standards. And none of them question or investigate on their own what impacts the food is having on their blood sugar.
If I said something, I was butting my nose into their business. They shrug me off. Switch the subject. Or they tell me no the Dr. said this is the way to do it. After all who am I to say anything. I am definitely not the one with the medical degree.
With my brother, my parents harped on him too much (my grandfather was type 1 diabetic and my dad type 2) but he didn't need people harping. If you just talked to him a bit you would find he needed someone to help him emotionally. I remember him saying to me "Yeah, I can have only 10 chips. What is the point of me eating them when I can have only 10.".
I lived about 16 hours away, so it was hard for me to help him. I did go home one time and manage to convince him after a suicide attempt to see a shrink but it didn't last long, a couple of months. he started feeling better. Quite taking the pill and going. Then went back into his old habits/ways.
Some people question and are willing to make necessary changes, giving up an aspect that they might really like. Other people aren't willing to question or give things up that they like.
This end of May will be 5 years since my brother suicide. A part of me wishes I knew now what I knew back them. But honestly, I don't know if it would have made a difference. Especially if he wasn't willing to monitor his own BGs like the doctor told him too. And he ate whole boxes of cereal. If he wasn't willing to control himself. I doubt any knowledge I have know would have affected the outcome.
It is a very tough line to walk. Frankly I am tired of walking it with people I care about because it takes its toll on me.