Highsteaks, I support you 100%. I don't believe people should be passing judgement on your relationship in such an out of context manner and completely avoiding the topic thread. You specifically asked for different modes--if any--of support from SOs, and instead you're getting a psychoanalysis of your relationship.

Again there has to be room for "things that can be misinterpreted through text." In your befuddlement over the negative responses, please keep in mind that these people (some of them who normally give GREAT advice and I check their journals regularly) are not living under your roof, not experiencing your relationship, and they don't get to see what's behind closed doors.

I THINK that they are taking the "tough love" approach, waiting for you to have some moment of illumination about yourself; perhaps something comparable to, "Hey, maybe my feelings won't be hurt by my SO if I can come to terms with comments on my eating behavior." Eating is SO individual, and weight/food issues are EXTREMELY hard for others to grasp, especially in the whole gender issue. "Most"--and I'm warily treading water here--men lose weight much easier than women. Their metabolisms are naturally higher due to a higher quotient of muscle mass and density; thus, it's easier for men to lose weight. Many men and women who don't HAVE weight issues cannot get their heads around truly struggling with food.

For instance, my SO is an Army Ranger. His body fat percentage is like...negative two. Haha. He eats what he wants, when he wants--particularly Oreos and Chips Ahoy! brand cookies, because he could not get those when he was stationed in Iraq. He basically has eighteen months of bad eating to make up for, lol. Now that he's stateside once again, we often eat out when we are together. He lives in Colorado now, and I live in Pennsylvania. Most of our time together is spent wining and dining since we only see each other on weekends, and we'd rather not waste time putzing around his poorly equipped apartment and cooking. Despite my efforts to have him read DANDR to answer his questions about my eating habits, telling him how ketogenic dieting works, and painfully selecting menu items and having them altered, he CANNOT fathom why I don't want chocolate cake with my dinner. I'm very athletic, so he doesn't see how I can't just "burn it off tomorrow." Until he gets a pot belly or gains weight, he will never understand the struggle.

He has told me that he just doesn't see why women are so critical of themselves. But after losing fifty pounds (we met when I was very near goal) unbeknownst to him, he once said something like, "Yeah a lot of people could stand to lose weight. Do you think you would want to lose another fifteen pounds?" I was horrified and HURT considering he didn't know of my weight loss journey. His remark was without malice but of course, I took it deeply to heart.

Now, he understands a bit more about the diet. He's happily supportive and always there to compliment me. He thinks I don't need to lose any weight, but he said he will support me if it makes ME feel better. However, he still forgets and offers ice cream or can't understand why a 4 pound gain for now reason makes me veritably insane. He'll say, "It's just four pounds!" and I'll want to throw butcher knives at him. (NOTE: To others reading this, please do not psychoanalyze my relationship and think I want to murder my boyfriend. The comment is merely a metaphor for how I feel when he inadvertantly trivializes my weight gain, not a deeply rooted homicidal tendency. Thanks.)

Anyway, support goes both ways. Sometimes honesty and direct ignorance of the other person in the relationship is hurtful. Maybe unintentionally or intentionally. Sometimes edging around your WOE or just respectfully honoring your diet requests is the best support available. I find it goes both ways. Even though I take full responsibility for my eating, that doesn't take the sting out of "You shouldn't eat that" or "Is that on the diet?" or "You could lose another fifteen pounds."

Like CWC said, "You reap what you sow." I'm hoping the only thing you reap is positive feedback.