I just read through most of the posts here...all very interesting stuff, and some very personal thoughts. I'm gonna stick my head out and propose yet another idea--don't flame me too hard. LOL
My belief is that I don't really have any issues that I'm trying to cover up by being fat. I've always wanted to be thin, and when I've gotten thinner, I've loved it. So why did I gain weight again? 1) I love food. I love all kinds of food. I got sick of eating one way and wanted to eat another way. 2) I've become injured in one way or another, and couldn't keep up with the exercise that had pumped up my metabolism. 3) My lifestyle changed and I started eating with another person who didn't eat the way I did. I liked the lifestyle.

I never saw my changes in diet as being SABOTAGE. I just wanted to eat something else. I missed eating it...my willpower broke down. The first time I regained weight, it went like this. I got into a groove of doing a certain amount of exercise. This had a couple of effects: one, it changed my appetite. I could pick foods that were better for me and avoid ones that weren't. And two, it increased my metabolism. When I got injured and couldn't exercise, those things both changed. I went back to my old preferred (and oh-so-tasty) eating habits. I just couldn't keep up with the restriction necessary.

The first time I went on a LC diet, it lasted maybe a couple of months. But by that time, I had progressed enough in my running (a brand new thing for me) and weight training that I could get away with eating more carbs and not gain weight. Was I sabotaging myself? I don't think so. Then I moved across the country, leaving my now ex and meeting my now boyfriend. We ate out all the time. I had trouble adjusting here (there's that stress and lack of balance mentioned earlier), stopped running, and my Achilles tendonitis flared up. For a few months, I lived on all kinds of JUNK (seriously--fast food most of the time) and didn't gain any weight!! I thought I had it made! But it was just my metabolism taking a while to adjust. Pretty soon, the pounds started piling on. I knew that I didn't want to go back to protein shakes (I'd been doing BFL before I moved to CA, and oddly, the shakes appealed to me then)...and I didn't even think about LC. Eating LC is hard for me, because there are just too many foods I miss--and not all horrid ones, IMO.

So what's going to keep me on this time? I don't know. I *do* know that I have made changes (i.e. allowing a few more carbs here and there) that I feel are more liveable for me. I just can't stand the idea of being crammed into a shape that doesn't fit me (metaphorically). Some changes can be made, and some can't...so I have to figure out what I can change and still be content.