Oh how I wish this thread was still as active... but at least I am not likely to bring it to a shuddering halt.... lol

This is quite long... but I need to say it... nobody needs to read it... lol

Only 10 days into this new WOL, hope I can stick with it, but my track record is pretty pathetic....... I have been overweight since birth... and have tried everything, including a disastrous attempt at gastric banding a few years back that almost killed me...

I tend to start keen, and then rapidly fall off the waggon, usually just as things are starting to do reasonably well... I have been able to find so many justifications for stopping.... and never really looked at just why I was doing this.. and the yo-yo effect has meant that I just steadily kept gaining...

For the past couple of years... I simply decided there was no way I was ever going to lose weight... this was me... and if people don't like me the way I am... that is their problem.. and.... surprisingly... I didn't gain any more weight... stayed pretty stable... ok.. trying not to overindulge in anything... constantly quoting my grandmother... "all things in moderation, and a little of what you fancy does you good".... but still, I didn't deprive myself of anything..

Yes, deprivation was one of my triggers.... and my favourite justification.

Last November I had another heart attack.. and again started searching for help to lose weight... nobody said I had to... think they have given up tooo...... but I knew it was important.. something I had to do...even if I didn't really want to.

I consulted a doctor whose specialty was weight reduction... and my opening line to him was.... I know all the facts, the plans, I just don't know how to make it work for me.... "did I want to lose weight".... well, I reallly don't want to deprive myself any more.... but I know I have to...
He actually commended me for my 2 years of simply eating as I felt... removing restrictions that had been in place for years.... he said that I had already overcome the first step... I had learnt to value me, and be kind to me....

Anyrate, to make a long story short.... after 4 months, a lot of money, a lot of talk, but no weight loss... we decided that my biggest problem was a mental block.... that I needed psychological help to find and understand before I was likely to succeed...

I was referred to a psychiatrist... who.... for various reasons, I only saw twice, and bailed out.... but.... all the open talking I had done with both doctors, had started me looking at things from my life, and seeing them in a different light..... starting to realise a lot of why I am like I am, and how this has sabotaged me... in many facets of my life....

So.... I remembered that the most sucess I had ever had previously was Atkins... yet stopped for what seemed very valid reasons at the time.. bought the book... started researching it all... tossed out my anti-depressants... and here I am.....

10 days in.... not really finding it difficult, in fact feeling quite indulged with the WOE... and hoping something I read earlier in this thread is true.
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I feel sorrow for people who think they'll lose weight and their life will change. They will be fabulous, sexy, loving, in charge, poised, forgiving, admirable... It goes the other way...change your life and you'll lose weight.
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I have gained insight, I think I am doing this because I have changed.. and so far.... it feels so right... Of course I would like to lose considerable weight... but... I have already learnt that I don't have to be thin, to be worthy, to be me...(and I'm not so bad).... and I am sure that I will achieve the health benefits I need... no matter how many pounds I may shed.... Hopefully I will not feel the need to throw my hands in the air and say "I give up"......
Only time will tell......... and threads such as this will help me stay strong....