I was thinking it was a song by Elton John??

Hey CallmeAnn, funny you mention the being able to scratch your entire spine, I can do that now too! Isn't that amazing? No need for a backscratcher anymore! Or a buttwiper, hahah! (Whatever THAT is, hahaah) But it's the truth--when you are really big, you literally can't wipe your butt clean!!!!!!!!!!!! The awful painful sad truth...........................