great thread that has made me think...some of those thoughts follow.

Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder and even brainwashed me has been able to learn to see beauty in different body types. As a child, my mom had one really large woman friend with a thyroid problem; as a kid, I only saw her as fat, and was guilty of seeing right through her despite that I was already battling my own weight as a kid. Eight years ago, at a family funeral, I saw her again and (oops--this qualifies me as one of the blurtingly rude people, I fear), my mouth fell open and I said, "my god, you're a beautiful woman!" And she is! 300+ pounds and at that point, surely 60 years old, but gorgeous. She was pleased, but what I noticed more was the expression on her husband's face--like "thank god, someone else finally sees this!"

When I was a size 5 for a half-dozen years of starving myself, I hated the reaction to that nearly as much as the reaction to this size. Men glommed onto me, and it scared me more than a little. It also ticked me off. "Where were you when I was a size 22?" I kept thinking. I have come to like being a size 10-12...it keeps the total shallow fools at bay.

I have a perhaps impolite but kinda amusing response to the kind of harassing male boss described in some posts above. I never use a sarcastic tone, but a wide eyed, "isn't this fascinating" sort of voice and say, "Interestingly enough, about 90% of overweight people do not overeat. There's a lot of medical research on this, and I could give you some citations to the professional literature if you'd like. Interestingly enough, size has more to do with the endocrine system, with liver function, with genetics, with enzymes such as LPL and with neuropeptide Y levels. As it ends up, fat cells are no more under a person's voluntary control than is..." and here I pretend to search for a comparison and then pretend to find one "...penis size!" I say chirpily, and smile very brightly.

(And please, don't lecture me about that not mattering either--I know it doesn't, but the sort of man who would insult a large woman to her face for her size is exactly the sort who would fear it does matter...lol. for a woman insulter, maybe substitute "IQ" )

And this characterizing of overweight as a medical condition is the truth after all...who goes around saying to someone, "gee you'd be really beautiful if only you got TALLER."